Is he into me?

LegacyUser

Making a long story short. I had a major breakup several years ago and gave myself time to get over it. I'm still not totally there.

Someone who I knew a long time ago has come back into my life. He is recently single from a long term relationship. I like him but thought I would give him plenty of time to give his head space.

He texts or sends me daily messages on FB. I don't have a problem with this. However he often hints that he has a free house etc as in a big hint for me to visit. I told him if he wanted me he could take me out somewhere nice, chat, cinema etc. Now its not about money as I will pay my way. Bascially I was letting him know that if he wanted me in his life that he would have to make some sort of effort.

Still he gives the hints about a free house etc....... I have asked him directly if he just wants a bit of fun and he tells me no, he is looking for the one! He has said he will take me out etc but I do feel even if he takes me out for one night he will be back to the hinting for me to 'visit' him at home. We are not kids either, more middle aged lol

So if anyone has any perspective on this, feel free to offer advice!

LegacyUser

From my perspective it looks like this guy is lookin for a rebound...
As an individual who has recently emerged from a relationship I know that I am only craving attention and affection/ not to mention frustrated... so maybe he is in the same mindframe...
i would be very cautious of his offer of a free house and insistence on it..

I am a friend

Would he be stuck for money and not able to afford to go out? If not, then chances are he is only looking for a physical relationship.

Firetrap

Yep, that free house is a clear signal that he's hell bent on getting his leg over and little else. He'll tell you he wants to take you out etc. but it all boils down to this.

LegacyUser

I guess I don't want to jump into the cosy never going out couple. I would like to get out and about before I start sitting in with someone. I have said all this and he says yeah we go out and then he's off mentioning again about his free house etc or inviting me over for a coffee lol........

Now if I'm in a relationship I'm all up for that but I'm not and do expect him to make some effort and to get up off the sofa! He does tell me he really likes me though. I even at one stage told him if he wanted a house visit to call an escort.

And yep it definitely could be a rebound. I don't think money is an issue.

I am a friend

He is a chancer. Op remember words are cheap and while im sure he likes you, he won't listen to you and won't go down the path you want to I.e going out for dates. It doesn't bode well for the future in any event.

LegacyUser

Well thanks for the advice. You were all spot on.

He forgot about me for the weekend, not a word from him although I know he was working, and then on the Monday mentioned his free house again if I wanted to pop over.

I suggested Lunch out. He said ok and but didn't like my suggestion of venue. Again coffee at his house was mentioned but he also said he wouldnt look for any action. (yeah right) So then I asked him where he did want to go and got no answer.

Que a few hours later and got a message he had fallen asleep

I'm feeling very hurt that someone would think so little of me that I would just call over for to be his free prostitute. Ive not heard from him but am very tempted to give him a piece of my mind.

And knowing him a long time, it won't be long before he contacts me again.

Tigger99

Ah i wouldnt go thinking that he sees you as some sort of prostitute pet, you shouldnt put yoursrlf down like that. He doesn't want or is too lazy to have a relationship. He fancies you and wants to sleep with you and you, understandably want more, id be the same.

If I were you, id ignore him when he contacts you again and I really wouldn't give him the satisfaction of you giving him a piece of your mind.

Concentrate your energy on a guy that is worthy of your time.

Firetrap

+1 to the advice above. I think it's only fair that you ignore his texts and let him have a little bit of uncertainty before the penny drops for him. Let him figure out for himself that you're not going to stand for such nonsense.

The good thing from your point of view is that you didn't entertain his attempts to get you into the sack. You are not a cheap prostitute and please don't view yourself in that way. He was just a cheeky fecker who was chancing his arm.

I am a friend

Don't flatter his ego by letting on youRe annoyed. I would just moveon and not entertain any notion of meeting up with him. He is not worth the time.