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Stressed, Frustrated, Confused

  • 04-11-2011 12:24am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Logging out for this post, but if what my brain is telling me happens, it wouldn't make much difference. It's pretty late and even though I've had a very bad few days but I think it's the tiredness driving me to this

    Just like to point out, I have a good life which makes me feel kind of guilty posting this. I've got friends, I'm athletic, I'm smart-ish, I'm in my last year of school, I've a good family and other things like good money saved etc. But for the last while (several months at this stage) I haven't exactly been happy. Not unhappy, it's hard to explain, but for that time it feels like there is always something in my life that causes me stress, worry or just plain upsets me. As I'll be at home feeling really unsettled and can't stop thinking about it. It doesn't happen every day but it's so often that thinking back on it, it's just felt constant since before the summer now.

    I don't really know where to start. I mean, this time last year I was probably in a worse situation but I was happier. I had friends but not a real solid group of them, I was probably the worst I had ever been at sports, I was struggling to not get in trouble at school, was starting to get upset a month after breaking up with my girlfriend etc. You get the idea. But, looking back on it, I think I was happier then. Maybe it's just that I think that the past is better or that after several months of this, I don't see a way out.

    At the moment, I do have a solid group of 6 friends, as well as plenty of others but not as many as this time last year. However, there are these 2 friend. I was very good friends with them until a few weeks ago when they just turned, they started slagging me and went too far. One of them screwed over another friend the other night with a girl so I don't trust either of them at all anymore. Along with this, I've just had a massive drop in confidence. I get on with people but I struggle to put myself out there, which I used to easily be able to do a year and a half ago. And I think this causes me a lot of frustration and upset. Like when I came home from football the other day, I felt slightly down simply cause I couldn't make conversation with people

    School is the main focus of my stress. I'm in my last year and I'm so far behind. I can't motivate myself to work and when I do, I get so frustrated and do a terrible job. My homework is badly done and I spend most of my time worrying cause I don't have it done. Study is just useless cause nothing goes in when I do it. I feel stupid because other people who do nothing are getting by and I'm just failing. I used to be able to do really well even by doing nothing but something has changed and now I do terrible.

    Now you couldn't have one of these threads with a girl problem. I usually lie about this when looking for advice because of pride or something. Me and her first started meeting up about a year and a half ago. I usually lie about that part because people say "move on". We didn't actually start going out till that summer and we broke up twice in the next 6 months. Nothing much happened then until the start of this summer when she told me she missed me. We were kind of on and off, with a lot of arguing throughout the summer but towards the end it just sort of stopped.

    At the very end of the summer though, she got upset at a party and we got together. She said something that night that really stuck with me, "It's like you don't want to be happy". I had a great night and I fell for her properly. Since then, we've still been on and off but the summer came back to bite me on the ass and we had some of our worst arguements, she really felt I had been a prick. This last weekend was the worst, for the first time I was the one getting upset. I won't go into the details of it now, but basically I text her saying that I wanted "a fresh start" so all the other **** wouldn't effect us. She said she agree but needed a break from it for a while.

    I kind of feel like I don't know what happy feels like. Not because I'm always depressed, I am happy in certain situations every day. But I just can't remember a time when I was generally pleased with my life for a good period of time. I've been told several times that I overreact to things and I know it myself but I've never been able to stop it.

    Well, sorry for the crappy written, long post but I got things off my chest the best I could. I've probably left things out but if I did it was to try and make this essay slightly shorter. If I'm being honest, I started this post last night and struggled through it. Tonight, I don't feel that bad but I felt like posting this just to get some advice on these issues. Cheers


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