online dating problem

LegacyUser

so basically ive been trying online dating for a while now and ive been talking to this guy for a few weeks

so he asked me if i wanted to meet up with me
he seems really nice and i told him that im hesitant as ive never met someone from there before so he said ok if i want we can chat over facebook or over the phone!

i dont have a picture up on it! im scared that he will stop talking to me if he saw my picture and that he wont be interested in me!

i know its stupid but im really insecure about my looks im not the best looking girl in the world and im afraid that he will just stand me up or whatever or totally ignore me!

i know i sound like a crazy person but i dont know what to do and would like some advice as to what to do! (or to reassure me that im not a crazy person haha)

does anyone have any experience in the area of online dating??

thanks

CyberJuice

show him a pic,if he doesnt like you then so be it,move on, next time show a pic before you start talking so you wont waste your time on a guy that will do a runner when he sees your pic

dont worry about it,youl lfind someone interested in your pic and youll not have the worry anymore while your talking to the guy

You have been talking for a period of time and he hasn't seen your photo yet?

You're going to have to show him one eventually. If it turns out he's not physically attracted to you then just move on. That's the beauty of online dating.

You're better off biting the bullet and showing him a photo.

mathproblem

Best to get the picture swapping out of the way early i feel. Before you have too much invested in the relationship. Maybe a friend could help you take/pick out a nice picture.

I find it's good when pictures on these sites say something about the person rather that the typical 'duckface' self pic in front of a mirror. ie. if you are outdoorsy/into hillwalking/sport etc then a pic from on a hike/cycle etc somewhere, travelling= in front of eiffel tower/pyramids etc, social person= pic with friends/family, into music= at a gig/festival...

The point is for the picture to actually say something about you that goes beyond physical appearance. That way the person looking at it might imagine, "hey i could see myself doing those things/sharing my time with that person, that would be fun/interesting etc"

solovely

Why did you try online dating in the first place if you are scared of actually meeting someone face to face? Isn't that the whole point of is...it's a dating site, not an online chat forum!!!

Send him a picture and arrange to meet him as soon as you can. All this emailing back and forth is wasting time. You are there to hopefully meet someone real - don't you want to know as soon as you can if there is a genuine connection?

I know it's scary and you're insecure, but the only way you'll get over this is by being brave.

Send him a pic, ask him to give you a ring, talk for 5-10 mins arranging where to meet up. Meet in a public place, if you're nervous, go to a bar as a drink will ease your nerves, but don't have more than 3 drinks.

Don't excuse how you look or make derogatory comments about yourself. You don't have to act cocky, but be confident. He's been chatting to you long enough to like the real you, so if he goes off you based on looks, he's not worth it. Make an effort though for the real date, dress nice, wear nice makeup and perfume.

Good luck, I hope this is the start of something great

Miss Fluff

Ah now, unless you were planning to wear a paper bag over your head for the duration of the date then he is going to have to see you at some stage isn't he hon?

You shouldn't be so self-deprecating. We are our own PR machines and a commodity when it comes to online dating. Have you a nice haircut? What is your best feature? Do you have lovely big eyes for example? You need to have a nice clear picture where you look nice to give yourself the best chance. Ask a friend to take it and maybe help with your make up before posting it. This chap is evidently interested enough in you as a person to want to meet with you and is probably just as nervous as you about exchanging photos.

Online dating is quite a brave thing to do so maybe you should give yourself a bit more credit than you are. Have a bit of self-belief and other people will buy into that too

Hope the date goes well.

parker kent

solovely wrote: »

He's been chatting to you long enough to like the real you, so if he goes off you based on looks, he's not worth it.

I agree with everything else you say, but this bit stuck out for me. There has to be some physical attraction between two people if they are going to start dating. I don't think it's a case of saying somebody is not worth it.

Anyway OP I'd agree with the majority here. Send him a nice picture and have a chat on the phone or facebook (whatever you find most comfortable) and then hopefully you can arrange a date. Good luck!

LeixlipRed

In my experience you just gotta get the picture out of the way as quickly as possible as others have said. And that saves on possible pain later on. Whereas it's easy for either side to make an excuse early on in the flirtation. Just go for it!

Firetrap

You can't hide from him forever. As it is, you're building up an unrealistic picture of what he's like. Put it this way - if you were out in a pub for the night and saw or got talking a guy you didn't fancy, would you think anything of it? It's not a crime if you don't fancy someone or they don't fancy you.

ILikeBananas

A quite common problem in on-line dating is when people use pictures of themselves where they may be far younger and thinner for example. Whilst it's important to take a picture that shows you in a good light try to avoid using a misleadingly good one. If you end up sending him a picture that looks nothing like you then he might be disappointed when he meets you in real life.