confused

LegacyUser

Hi,going unreg for this post.

Long story but,42 years old..married one week after my 21st birthday.Not really my choice but was
very young and naive to the world.A young daughter born 3 month's previously.

The first few years of marriage were ok but quickly turned sour after the birth of my second child.
Realised I didnt want to be married to a woman I didn't love,but I kept going for the sake of the kid's and pressure from
family etc. After the birth of my last child,I withdrew completely from the marriage,practically zero contact with my wife.
But always tried to do the best for the kid's.
I went about 5 to 6 years like this,my wife constantly trying to get it to work,trying to get me talk.But I
had left the marriage emotionally years since.

Eventually I did leave,although there was a lot of guilt on my part leaving the kids,I felt nothing towards my
wife.She didn't take it too well at all,constantly harassing,following,verbally abusing generally making my life a
misery.

I entered into another relationship almost immediately,we both fell in love.It lasted 3 years but ended because of
commitment issue's from me.She wanted marriage,I didn't.

Another relationship followed that was almost identical in start,finish and ending,3 years long also.

Which bring's me to today and I am 6 weeks after a breakup of another relationship.Different this time as I was commited to
marriage.Still very raw as I wanted it to work.


All three women that I have had a long term relationship since my marriage ended have been young,attractive,independent and have
got on great with all three.Madly in love with each other also.

I do want to get married someday,to the right woman..But having seen at first hand what a bad marriage can do,I
probably think too much into it and tend to pick up all the bad things about a person instead
of the good things.

If a genie appeared from a bottle and told me I could have my last love back if I married her I'd
probably say no.

What do you make of all that..?

Thanks for reading.

Confused.

hbert

Its hard to have the courage to leave a marriage. If you weren't happy chances are she wasn't either and kids pick up on these things so everyone will be much happier in the long term, whether they see that now or not. She'll thank you one day.

Marriage is over rated and when you're part of a couple if ye are happy they way ye are, why complicate it with marriage. Particularly with your not so fantastic previous experience of it.

Good luck!

Payton

Wow you have been through a tough time, as has your wife and kids. Did you keep up relations with your kids?
You need to take time out of "Relationships" for a while and try and find out what YOU want from life. Granted your trying to find out with differant woman which one is "The one" but you seem to be leaving more damage than happiness on BOTH sides.
What was the relationship like between your parents when you were growing up?