Moving on with social life

LegacyUser

After living a number of years with close friends, I recently moved out to my own place. Now suffice to say, these friends and I are not as close as we were, mostly due to living together.

In a nut shell I know two of them were talking behind my back at the time as I was not the most popular in our flat so after one guy decided to move to another city close by, I decided to do my own thing and move out also (it was not working and I was finished trying to sort it out).

Now living on my own (well if you don't count my significant other regularly being here) I find myself in a weird situation as I have now a very dull social life.

I am in a city so it should not be hard to meet new people, but at the same time I find it hard to do so. Mostly because I don't know where to begin, as I have very traditionally nerdy tastes, anybody know what I could do? (gaming, D&D, etc) also I can find it hard to make friends with people.

Secondly, I am in two minds about what to do about my ex flat mates. I still get on reasonably with one, although tend to keep at arms lenght as said person is a little manipulative.

Then you have the other who is never available when called but expects me to head out when called by them (also tends to overly slag when we are in company of other mates, not that i don't give it back, it just gets tiresome). Should I just mostly sever or try salvage the friendships?.

The Skulls

OP it sounds like your housemates took you for granted. I'm guessing you're aged late 20's to mid 30's & your friends the same. Which means that they didn't see it coming, they now have to get someone to take your place. That means until then they're having to fork out your portion of the rent, bills etc. Sounds like you upset the apple cart for them & like most care free guys nothing good comes to an end. If that's the case they'll get over it.
You mention you weren't the 'most popular' & this contributed to your decision to leave, well I don't imagine that whatever the issue is that it's too serious as your all still in contact. You have a GF? Have you been with her long? Would your friends have felt you put her before them? Did she get on with them? With their GF's?
As for your interests; I have sone experience there, those with those interests move in small circles & I'm guessing your friends have similar interests. However they aren't the only people with those interests so don't make the mistake I did & let it fall by the wayside. If you go to a gaming group then continue to do so, if there's a place where you hang out & meet up with people then continue to do so. Always remember that you cannot please everyone nor should you try. Strike a balance with pleasing yourself (no pun intended) & with maintaining friendships & quality of life. Also, now that you have your own space (you live alone?) then don't be afraid to invite people over. Host a D&D session in your place, role-players will jump at such an invite, same with 40k, warmachine or whatever system you play. You have hobbies so dive into them, invite people over to paint, have a beer, whatever it takes.

Morag

downtheline wrote: »

I am in a city so it should not be hard to meet new people, but at the same time I find it hard to do so. Mostly because I don't know where to begin, as I have very traditionally nerdy tastes, anybody know what I could do? (gaming, D&D, etc) also I can find it hard to make friends with people.

Which city are you in?
Galway, Cork and Dublin have gaming events and clubs and nights.

If they are being arseholes then they are not real friends and they should be making an effort also, seriously life is to short to put up with dickheads.