Why do good people finish last? Goodness not a desirable quality??

ahwelltryagain

Does anyone have any views on why good people finish last on the social scene? I know there are plenty of people, and cliques in society that are lovely genuine people, attract and appreciate the same kind. But why is it that whatever new mainstream group i part take in or pass through (school, employment, public transport sports/choir/dance groups/clubs) I continuously see people assemble into different social levels.

For example in my all girls college course, i noticed that the girls who inevitably turned out to all assemble together into "the popular" clique, I actually instantly took note that each girl before they knew each other, seemed unapproachable, "too good" to talk to, not interested in "nice simple small talk" and did not respond well to the "good girls" plain and simple friendly girls invite to get to know each other. I actually had an idea , just by the presence of each person in my class, who would end up being the popular, loud, confident, desirable ones (not just in the eyes of guys, but in the eyes of equally pretty and loud girls. And i was right about everyone!?!? The nice were left with no one to talk to for the first week, til they all found each other. It seems like your perfect example of an american high school, the way its portrayed as people falling into categories of jocks/cheer leaders etc.

I feel like i'm a person of so many levels, with unique qualities and broad sense of humour, kindness and thirst for life, learning and having as much fun as possible. But when i approach girls like the ones above, i feel they sense my "kindness" qualities and view them as boring or something??

I actually tested my theory on a girl who falls into this "mean-girl" category. I asked her a question while sitting next to her in class-i mimicked a mean-girl- i asked a question bluntly, turned away when she answered and kind of scoffed at whatever her answer was, basically acted cold and bored, but not so cold to the point of being horrible like. And she seemed interested in talking to me then, because i seemed to be mean and more of a challenge?? I didn't engage any further because i'm not interested in someone who rewards and looks for bad behaviour or coolness, to include in their bleedin cool group. I'd prefer be alone. But what is this phenomenem any sociology students??

Sea Sharp

Just because we as as species have evolved to have higher brain power and the ability to talk doesn't mean we're not still animals. An observable social structure is very evident for pretty much all mammals and we are no different.
There was never an evolutionary advantageous incentive for people to treat each other as equals or to base attractiveness on 'inner beauty'.

ahwelltryagain

Sea Sharp wrote: »

Just because we as as species have evolved to have higher brain power and the ability to talk doesn't mean we're not still animals. An observable social structure is very evident for pretty much all mammals and we are no different.
There was never an evolutionary advantageous incentive for people to treat each other as equals or to base attractiveness on 'inner beauty'.

yeah that sounds about right. seems like a survival of the fittest type scenario. for example in the animal kingdom i would definitely be passive, the one that gets eaten perhaps it is as simple as, the mighty prevail and the weak are picked off and eaten as they are of no use in furthering the stronger, more selfish ones up the food (social) chain.

Sea Sharp

ahwelltryagain wrote: »

yeah that sounds about right. seems like a survival of the fittest type scenario. for example in the animal kingdom i would definitely be passive, the one that gets eaten perhaps it is as simple as, the mighty prevail and the weak are picked off and eaten as they are of no use in furthering the stronger, more selfish ones up the food (social) chain.

Sounds to me like you'd fit in with the hippy weed-smoking clique. :pac:

ahwelltryagain

Sea Sharp wrote: »

Sounds to me like you'd fit in with the hippy weed-smoking clique. :pac:

Haha nah. Although a good few of my friends could be looked at like that:D The quiet intellectual type. But most of my friends would be the dancing/singing crowd into girly things, going out etc, the other lot of my friends would be very sporty or into gaming and others are just wacky and crazy. But everyone is nice and friendly unlike some of the bitches in my class. Luckily they're currently being out numbered by the sound people in my class who also don't take a shine to them either. Tides are turning :P

RichieC

Dawkins disagrees.. dated but relevant documentary

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3494530275568693212

ahwelltryagain

RichieC wrote: »

Dawkins disagrees.. dated but relevant documentary

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3494530275568693212

Wow how did I not see this before? I'm addicted to Dawkins! Sound, thanks

looksee

Just watched that, completely fascinating, especially, given the week that is in it, the bit about the first world war.

swordofislam

Hi OP are you perhaps confusing shyness and goodness? After all Madela is clearly 'good' and he is not shy. You don't seem to like these women so why do you want to be friends with them?

There is a very good book called the Lucifer Principle by Howard Blume that discusses the evolutionary advantages of 'evil' behaviour.
The last male common ancestor of Genghis Khan's tribe (probably a multiple great grandfather of the evil Emperor) has 16 million MALE descendants.

I haven't watched the video because life's too short but Dawkins is intellectually dishonest he has become a polemicist and his audience are people in Kuala Lumpur and Kansas city. He is trying to win converts from the creationist faiths.

ahwelltryagain

Hi swordofislam.
I don't want to be friends with these women but truth is i have to work and live with them for the next four years, i just wish i didnt have o feel like an outsider just because i dont have some mean streak/bounds of confidence ya know. I was just wondering about people's views on this and if anyone else was seeing this pattern in groups of girls. What you've said is helpfull though thanks

swordofislam

ahwelltryagain wrote: »

Hi swordofislam.
I don't want to be friends with these women but truth is i have to work and live with them for the next four years, i just wish i didnt have o feel like an outsider just because i dont have some mean streak/bounds of confidence ya know. I was just wondering about people's views on this and if anyone else was seeing this pattern in groups of girls. What you've said is helpfull though thanks

You'll have to deal with arseholes for the rest of your life. You might not like conflict but you will have to learn to push back. It doesn't make you a bad person if you stand up for yourself.