Tube Etiquette

Misticles

I've been here nearly a month now and I have noticed something that does not bode well with me at all.

Peoples etiquette on the tube as in offering your seat to the elderly/pregnant/people on walking sticks/crutches etc

I have noticed that there are seats called "Priority Seats" for people who I have listed above but people don't seem to care. Either that or they don't realise that they're sitting in such seats.

I have seen many a pregnant woman practically have to put the bump in peoples faces before they will offer their seat, today for example... a heavily pregnant woman gets on and the lady sitting in the "Priority Seat" watched her as she waded through the crowd looking for a seat (there was none) until someone actually offered her their seat.

On Saturday, I had to escort a an elderly woman on a walking stick to a seat - there were a few young men and women sitting opposite her and not one would get up off their asses and give the lady a seat. I was standing and when I saw a few seats had become free - I said to the woman and went down to keep ot free for her as I knew it wouldnt be long before they were gone.

I don't know if it's just me as I am so used to doing this at home or that some people are infact that ignorant and rude that they will knowingly let an elderly/pregnant stand up while they have a cushy little seat for the duration of the journey.

oh.. people who are wide awake but then pretend to be asleep when a person in need of a seat gets on!

Now I'm not saying everyone is ignorant and rude but I have come witnessed a fair few of such events!

Anybody else notice this?

LadyMayBelle

Welcome to London. I had a rant only last week about how people magically turn blind when they see someone struggle with a buggy at tube steps, or with massve cases. They somehow can manage the steps tho, even though they are blind...hmmmm.

I try and keep myself in check by being the helper in these sitautions to avoid becoming 'one of those' ignorant people

Misticles

LadyMayBelle wrote: »

Welcome to London. I had a rant only last week about how people magically turn blind when they see someone struggle with a buggy at tube steps, or with massve cases. They somehow can manage the steps tho, even though they are blind...hmmmm.

I try and keep myself in check by being the helper in these sitautions to avoid becoming 'one of those' ignorant people

Same as... men are not very chivalrous (sp).

My bf would stand holding a door open for people and I would give out ha He'd stand there for an eternity if I didn't say come one yet the opposite end of the spectrum annoys me too!

I actually saw a woman today with a badge on her coat saying "Baby on Board" it had the tube symbol on it too! Yet she was pressed against the doors...

Note to self... Don't get pregnant or old in London... or take the bus!

5uspect

As bad as it is in London, there were similar complaints about such behaviour on Irish trains. People are universally pricks.

I always make an effort to give up my seat and help carrying buggies up stairs but I don't think it has anything to do with where I'm from.

Misticles

5uspect wrote: »

As bad as it is in London, there were similar complaints about such behaviour on Irish trains. People are universally pricks.

I always make an effort to give up my seat and help carrying buggies up stairs but I don't think it has anything to do with where I'm from.

this is true... awful that people have to suffer at the hands of it.

I agree that has nothing to do with where you are from, I wasn't suggesting that at all.

growler

my wife is 8 months pregnant and tells me all the time about these ignorants ****s on the tube, women more than men apparently.

One weird side-effect of having seen what she's going through is i now find myself studying every slightly overweight woman on the picadilly line trying to suss out if she's pregnant or just had too many happy meals (so i can leap up and chivalrously offer my seat)

Misticles

growler wrote: »

my wife is 8 months pregnant and tells me all the time about these ignorants ****s on the tube, women more than men apparently.

One weird side-effect of having seen what she's going through is i now find myself studying every slightly overweight woman on the picadilly line trying to suss out if she's pregnant or just had too many happy meals (so i can leap up and chivalrously offer my seat)

She can get those baby on board badges if she wanted like I mentioned above!

Sometimes it can be hard to decide whether its a baby or a bun in the oven best not to offend but then you don't want them standing there if they are heavily pregnant. I haven't had this scenario just yet.
From what I have seen so far it seems to be equal for men and women yet I would expect men to do it before a woman would.... chivalry and all but I would have no problem jumping up and standing so someone in need of a seat could have mine.

Fysh

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and throw out the suggestion that those in need of a seat ask for one. Yes, some people are selfish and thoughtless, but there are also some of us who zone out while travelling/commuting. Especially at peak hours or in the busiest parts of the travel system, it's just not feasible for everyone to have some panopticon-like awareness of everyone else on the bus/train, particularly if someone who could use a seat won't open their mouth and ask for it.

Perhaps I'm just being optimistic in how I look at this, but most of the time when I've seen anyone travelling London ask for help they've had at least half a dozen people pitch in within about 10 seconds, so I'm used to the idea that the help will be gladly offered if you ask for it.

growler

Misticles wrote: »

She can get those baby on board badges if she wanted like I mentioned above!

she has one, it can also be selectively ignored by those who choose to.

Fysh, yeah i agree to some extent, but what if a hale 20-something asks you for your seat with no obvious health issues being apparent? what you do then? And, I guess chivalry isn't meant to be asked for, its really hard to miss the pregnant ones methinks.

Old, infirm, walking sticks, crutches, pregnant: happily give up my seat. Not so sure about those with 3 under 5's who choose to travel back from the zoo during rush hour, that kind of thing is stupid.

Misticles

Fysh wrote: »

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and throw out the suggestion that those in need of a seat ask for one. Yes, some people are selfish and thoughtless, but there are also some of us who zone out while travelling/commuting. Especially at peak hours or in the busiest parts of the travel system, it's just not feasible for everyone to have some panopticon-like awareness of everyone else on the bus/train, particularly if someone who could use a seat won't open their mouth and ask for it.

Perhaps I'm just being optimistic in how I look at this, but most of the time when I've seen anyone travelling London ask for help they've had at least half a dozen people pitch in within about 10 seconds, so I'm used to the idea that the help will be gladly offered if you ask for it.

I can easily see some pregnant women asking people to offer up their seat but the eldery may be less likely to that confrontational approach.

The matter of the fact as, it's got to the stage that some people are that ignorant that people who need the seat actually have to ask for it as opposed to it being offered.

Fysh

growler wrote: »

she has one, it can also be selectively ignored by those who choose to.

Fysh, yeah i agree to some extent, but what if a hale 20-something asks you for your seat with no obvious health issues being apparent? what you do then? And, I guess chivalry isn't meant to be asked for, its really hard to miss the pregnant ones methinks.

Old, infirm, walking sticks, crutches, pregnant: happily give up my seat. Not so sure about those with 3 under 5's who choose to travel back from the zoo during rush hour, that kind of thing is stupid.

I suppose you make a decision as you see fit and answer accordingly

The thing about chivalry is that it's a medieval code of conduct for warrior knights, and I'm not convinced that's necessarily a solid starting point for a modern definition of "good manners". On top of that, there's a certain degree of passive-aggression involved in expecting something but being unwilling to ask for it that I dislike. In a big, noisy city like London where there are so many people around, you can't expect to get something if you aren't willing to ask for it.

Misticles wrote: »

I can easily see some pregnant women asking people to offer up their seat but the eldery may be less likely to that confrontational approach.

The matter of the fact as, it's got to the stage that some people are that ignorant that people who need the seat actually have to ask for it as opposed to it being offered.

Not to mention that women used to stay in the kitchen where they belonged and beer used to be a penny a pint :P

This thread is in danger of turning into a Daily Mail Letters column at this rate, and I feel compelled to point that a collective internet moan about how The Yoof Of Today Are So Rude is both a hilarious stereotype and vanishingly unlikely to actually effect a positive change.

S.M.B.

Well I try my hardest to leave the priority seats to someone else because as Fysh says, I like to zone out when travelling to and from work. If it's not very apparent that someone is in need of a seat then I could easily come across as one of the ignorant ones.

I'd have no issues with anybody asking for a seat.

teamD

must say, when i was pregnant and using the tube i was offered a seat most days, never wore one of those badges, would have been morto!

and people are surprisingly quite friendly and chatty whenever i am on the tube with the child in a sling - would never travel with the child at rush hour though!

Misticles

Fysh wrote: »

I suppose you make a decision as you see fit and answer accordingly

The thing about chivalry is that it's a medieval code of conduct for warrior knights, and I'm not convinced that's necessarily a solid starting point for a modern definition of "good manners". On top of that, there's a certain degree of passive-aggression involved in expecting something but being unwilling to ask for it that I dislike. In a big, noisy city like London where there are so many people around, you can't expect to get something if you aren't willing to ask for it.



Not to mention that women used to stay in the kitchen where they belonged and beer used to be a penny a pint :P

This thread is in danger of turning into a Daily Mail Letters column at this rate, and I feel compelled to point that a collective internet moan about how The Yoof Of Today Are So Rude is both a hilarious stereotype and vanishingly unlikely to actually effect a positive change.

If only it was just the "yoof" of today!

djpbarry

Misticles wrote: »

Sometimes it can be hard to decide whether its a baby or a bun in the oven best not to offend but then you don't want them standing there if they are heavily pregnant. I haven't had this scenario just yet.

I remember offering my seat to an obviously pregnant woman on a bus in Dublin – she asked me, with a scowl, why I felt the need to do so. I avoid the situation entirely now by neither sitting downstairs on a bus or sitting at all on the tube.

Fysh wrote: »

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and throw out the suggestion that those in need of a seat ask for one. Yes, some people are selfish and thoughtless, but there are also some of us who zone out while travelling/commuting.

This. I pay very, very little attention to what’s happening around me when I travel.

growler wrote: »

Fysh, yeah i agree to some extent, but what if a hale 20-something asks you for your seat with no obvious health issues being apparent? what you do then?

You assume she is referring to your lap.

Fysh

djpbarry wrote: »

I remember offering my seat to an obviously pregnant woman on a bus in Dublin – she asked me, with a scowl, why I felt the need to do so. I avoid the situation entirely now by neither sitting downstairs on a bus or sitting at all on the tube.

I do my best to avoid this issue by asking if someone would like my seat/a hand with their large bag or pram/whatever, on the basis that if they wouldn't like it they only have to say so.

On the other hand, some people will go out of their way to be offended by a well-intentioned offer of assistance so you never can tell...

djpbarry wrote: »

You assume she is referring to your lap.

Well, it would at least provide your fellow passengers with some in-transit entertainment

who the fug

Very Important Tube Etiquette

Be quiet some of us are still asleep.

Misticles

Fysh wrote: »

I do my best to avoid this issue by asking if someone would like my seat/a hand with their large bag or pram/whatever, on the basis that if they wouldn't like it they only have to say so.

On the other hand, some people will go out of their way to be offended by a well-intentioned offer of assistance so you never can tell...



Well, it would at least provide your fellow passengers with some in-transit entertainment

Safe to say, can't please everyone or confirm to what they think is appropriate in a situation as we are not mind readers.

who the fug wrote: »

Very Important Tube Etiquette

Be quiet some of us are still asleep.

I can't sleep on tubes! For an area with so many people onboard, its always very quiet - just realised that!

silvervixen84

who the fug wrote: »

Very Important Tube Etiquette

Be quiet some of us are still asleep.

It amazes me how people can do this and not miss their stop :pac:

who the fug

silvervixen84 wrote: »

It amazes me how people can do this and not miss their stop :pac:

In the beginning they do :Dbut practice makes perfect

growler

silvervixen84 wrote: »

It amazes me how people can do this and not miss their stop :pac:

you can train your brain to remember how many stops i takes to get to / from work. This can go badly wrong when brain forgets it has a new destination to get to.

PH4T

It amazes me how ignorant people are on the tube. I've been here 6 months and London people are otherwise very nice. I presume it is because the tube is so over crowded it just becomes the law of the jungle.

My morning commute is on the rammed Northern Line from Clapham to Bank. You have to fight your way onto the tube.

I've found the only way to not get annoyed is to play music very loudly to drown out all the negativity (I got a new pair of Beats headphones so this doesn’t disturb others) and to not make eye contact.

djpbarry

PH4T wrote: »

My morning commute is on the rammed Northern Line from Clapham to Bank.

I'm on a similar section of the Northern Line when I use the tube (I prefer to cycle) and I have to be honest, I find people are generally very calm and patient considering the extremely crowded conditions.

I dare say people are expecting a little too much from their fellow tube passengers.

wilkie2006

I think the tube is incredible. It's like this parallel realm where normal, decent people turn into pricks. There's no such thing as a queue for anything... it's like each tube is the last chopper out of Saigon.

who the fug

wilkie2006 wrote: »

I think the tube is incredible. It's like this parallel realm where normal, decent people turn into pricks. There's no such thing as a queue for anything... it's like each tube is the last chopper out of Saigon.

Between 8:30 and 0900 it is.

wilkie2006

who the fug wrote: »

Between 8:30 and 0900 it is.

And 8-9am. And 5-6.30pm. And all weekend.

who the fug

wilkie2006 wrote: »

And 8-9am. And 5-6.30pm. And all weekend.

Don't be a silly billy, the tube doesn't run on the weekend, when London peeps may want to use it

wilkie2006

who the fug wrote: »

Don't be a silly billy, the tube doesn't run on the weekend, when London peeps may want to use it

Yea, fair enough, the weekend crush is thanks mainly to tourists and people going to matches. Still, rush hour is something else!

who the fug

wilkie2006 wrote: »

Yea, fair enough, the weekend crush is thanks mainly to tourists and people going to matches. Still, rush hour is something else!

Engineering works spit, fecking Olympics spit.



Great rush is being trapped on a packed tube with a wasp flying around, nobody can get their hands free to smack it.

Victor

growler wrote: »

Fysh, yeah i agree to some extent, but what if a hale [male?] 20-something asks you for your seat with no obvious health issues being apparent? what you do then?

Not every disability or medical issue is readily obvious.

I do not count sociopathy in those though.

wilkie2006