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Boyfriend sleeping in my house

  • 30-10-2011 12:42pm
    #1
    nyarlthotepful
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68 ✭✭


    I'm twenty one and I live with my parents. I have two sisters who are 11 and 15. My boyfriend is not allowed to sleep over when my eleven year old sister is in the house which I think is fair enough. But my mother keeps changing her mind about whether he's allowed to stay when it's just my 15 year old sister in the house. She said that she's very impressionable at the moment. Is this fair? I know my mom makes the rules and what not but I can't help thinking that it won't really have a detrimental effect on my sister. What do you think? Is it fair or should I argue with her about it? I should also add that it's very rare that both my siblings would be out of the house.


Comments

  • #2
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    It's not your house, its their house.

    When you rent or own your own place, you can have who you want stay over.


  • #3
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    After Hours -> Relationship Issues.


  • #4
    Alter-Ego
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,324 ✭✭✭Alter-Ego


    Your family, especially your younger sisters don't want to hear you getting dicked out of it every night by some dodgy geezer.

    If you're not paying rent, then respect your parents wishes, it's their gaff.


  • #5
    YFlyer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,717 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    Will he have to wait two or six years?


  • #6
    Akrasia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,799 ✭✭✭✭Akrasia


    Why do you still live at home if you're 21? If you want to be treated like an adult then you need to move out and live your own life.


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  • #7
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    If you are in a steady relationship then I don't think it's fair but there is no point arguing as it is your mother's house.


  • #8
    Zen65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    nyarlthotepful wrote: »
    What do you think? Is it fair or should I argue with her about it?

    I think you have to abide by the rules of the house you live in. You certainly cannot argue the rules. You could try to negotiate a compromise, but that requires that you have something to offer in exchange. If the issue for your mother is one of values then negotiation is unlikely to be successful.

    It's not clear to me what you mean by having the boyfriend "sleep over" .... do you mean in your bed or in another room? If you mean in your bed with you then I (speaking as a parent) believe your mother is right to be concerned as to how your siblings would interpret this. It's all very well to say "I'm 21 and old enough to know" but it is a fact of life that younger people generally aspire to the behaviour & freedom of their older siblings and do not see age as a criterion.

    Bide your time. This isn't a reason to move out of the house if your family relationships are otherwise good. When you become more financially independent and choose to move out then having left on good terms with your family will make the rest of your life (and theirs) so much easier.

    Be at peace,

    Z


  • #9
    nyarlthotepful
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68 ✭✭nyarlthotepful


    Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. It means a lot to me. :D


  • #10
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    YFlyer wrote: »
    Will he have to wait two or six years?

    The thread has been moved to the Relationship Issues forum - that means posts that would have been acceptable in After Hours can earn you a ban or infraction now.

    If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

    Many thanks.


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