Joke thread

Fago!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HAHAHA

Geddit? Because he didn't want to live anymore so he walked on the road knowing full well that a lorry would crush him to death. Geddit - the other side - of existance - heaven - eh? eh? EH?

I'm funny.

Storminateacup

I said to my doctor, "I've badly bruised my penis in a surfing accident."He said, "Did you fall off your board?"I said, "No, I had to slam my laptop shut rather quickly."

TeddyTedson

Take it to humor thread OP,
Locked

Fago! banned for 4 mins.

hondasam

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Althea!
Althea who?
Althea later, alligator

Oranage2

There's still such a stigma around chicken suicide.

Fago!

Poor poultry

hondasam

Turkeys will be getting nervous now.

hondasam

Oranage2

I love turkey, tasteless tasteless turkey

ballsacky

What did the Judge ask for with his water?
Just ice.

Deki

Where did Napoleon keep his armies ?

In his sleevies of course ;):p:pac:

Oranage2

Q) What's black and white and eats like a horse?








A) A black and white horse.

Oranage2

What's black and white and red all over?


A black and white horse being eaten by a lion.

Deki

an embarrassed zebra?

a newspaper?

TeddyTedson

7h15 M3554g3 53rv35 7o Pr0v3 H0w 0ur M1nd5 C4n D0 4m4z1ng 7h1ng5! 1mpr3551v3 7h1ng5! 1n 7h3 B3g1nn1ng 17 Wa5 H4rd Bu7 N0w, 0n 7h15 Lin3 Y0ur M1nd 1s R34d1ng 17 4u70m471c4lly W17h 0u7 3v3n 7h1nk1ng 4b0u7 17, B3 Proud! 0nly C3r741n P30pl3 C4n R3ad 7h15.

Deki

I think...



or typing lessons.

Oranage2

What's black and white, black and white, black and white and says ouch?









A black and white horse running up the stairs really fast then slipped and banged his leg and said ouch.

Deki

ouch.

Oranage2

Deki wrote: »

ouch.

Well he shouldn't be running up stairs because he could hurt himself!

Deki

and did

Oranage2

- A black and white horse walks into a bar

- The bar man goes why the long face

- The horse says " Mind your own f*cking business!"

Deki

And barman say's "get the **** out of my bar - who needs you ?"
and then what happened?

Oranage2

Deki wrote: »

And barman say's "get the **** out of my bar - who needs you ?"
and then what happened?

Maybe you or somebody else can end it, im all joked out

07438991

Q. What do you call a knacker duck...?



A. A paddy-quack!!!

hondasam

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster. What would you have?
2 ft. of my cock in your ass.

hondasam

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

artanevilla

There's these three priests right? Two of them died and the other one is still missing.

sNarah

I thought you meant this Joke.

Scorpion Sting

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry', the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you', she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! 'You know', he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No', she replies ... 'You just happened to catch my eye.'