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Shut out for no reason

  • 27-10-2011 6:49pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,955 ✭✭✭✭


    My girlfriend has decided not to talk to me for no reason. She wont answer her phone, reply on facebook anything.

    We have been together for 3 months and its a pity it ending like this.

    There has been no problems, we got on well but have a feeling some of her friends probly talked her out of me.

    What to do ??


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    How long has this silence been going on? Did you do something that maybe upset her but you dont realise? Its a very immature thing to do tbh. Maybe its best you see this side of her now instead of wasting more time with her and her doing it when you're head over heels in love with her.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 39,955 ✭✭✭✭PTH2009


    Kiera wrote: »
    How long has this silence been going on? Did you do something that maybe upset her but you dont realise? Its a very immature thing to do tbh. Maybe its best you see this side of her now instead of wasting more time with her and her doing it when you're head over heels in love with her.

    i texted her tuesday and then didnt yesterday and today text her called her went too her house no answer.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,339 ✭✭✭tenchi-fan


    Celebrate!

    You dodged a bullet.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Sorry i just have a few questions:

    How often would you see each other/contact normally? Was it casual? I'm asking these because she might have seen you two as a casual thing and now wants out and is doing in the cowardly way?

    Or maybe something has happened in her family...


  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    God! reading your post brought me back to the nineties.

    This happened me with my first every boyfriend, way back in leaving cert. After the debs, he stopped calling me, was never there when I called him (pre-mobile days) and stopped showing up at the local hangout at lunchtime. I was really hurt and confused and convinced myself of all sorts of reasons why he was off the radar. I never got to find out and his friends while sympathetic to what was going on, were none the wiser either.

    About 6 months later he came sniffing around and me being a dimwit, took him back and even without a proper explanation. Guess what he did a few months later? Yup! his fell-off-the-face-of-the-earth impression. I found out that he has broken up with every girl since me this way. :rolleyes:

    If I could give advise to my 17 year old self, I would say this (and say it to you now too) delete her from your phone, and facebook, dont go around her house anymore, and consider it broken off. If you meet her friends, try not to ask them - they will not tell you even if they know why. The most I would say to her friends is offer to help them with the missing posters. ;) You are confused and I know you need answers, but the true answers are right in front of you - she didnt care enough about your feelings (to reduce your hurt) to put them before hers (awkwardess of breaking up) and she is a coward. You are better than that, you deserve better than that.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    I think I agree with Neyite. If there is something seriously wrong, like she got bad news or something, that might be different.

    But other than that, it's pretty childish of her to ignore you. If it's the case you might have done something wrong, her blanking you and not telling you what it is, is also a bit childish and annoying.

    However if it's as others have suggested where she has ended it without telling you, I wouldn't bother making any effort. I have this thing where if someone I feel has lost interest in me, I won't give them any satisfaction of letting them think I miss them or am trying to get them back. If you are around her friends, the best thing to do is to act like it doesn't bother you in the slightest. I'm sure it will get back to her if that is the case and will wrinkle her nose just right.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,247 ✭✭✭Greaney


    I don't know how old you both are but it sounds like you guys are still in school??. If you are (as I genuinely assume) this is an immature/goofy but not uncommon way of breaking up.

    If your not, then, as a previous poster said, you dodged a bullet. G-money and Neyite have summed up the best way to 'take it on the chin' and move on. Trust me, if you're a sound, straight guy of average looks and intelligence, you'll meet plenty more fine girls;). You've nothing to worry about


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 747 ✭✭✭qwertytlk


    Hi,
    if you dont mind me asking, how old are you both? Im just wondering because if this is her way of dumping you, its pretty immature and pathetic, and frankly something a childish school girl would do.
    However, if its only been a couple of days then perhaps things are not as they seem...maybe something has happend-a family emergency or something like that.
    Do you have any mutual friends you could ask what the story with her is?

    Or there is always the option of sending her a text saying something like '' listen i havent heard from you in a few days an im just wondering if everything is ok? Or is this just your way of saying you dont want to be with me anymore? If thats it then its fine with me...but id just like to know either way! ''
    I think saying something direct like that may be your best chance of getting a response, if she did in fact want to end things but maybe doesnt know how/what to say.

    Also was just wondering what you meant by you think her friends may have talked her out of you? Is their a paticular reason you think this? And again, if this is the case then she would have to be an extreemley shallow and immature girl who you would be better off without!


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