I'm feeling so so guilty it's unbearable

LegacyUser

OK so, I've had a pretty tough year, I was bullied really badly in my job - where I had been for 7 years and I had to leave - It was a career job and a very specialised role. I did try to fight it and I got a payment on my exit which softened the blow but it was by no means a generous settlement, I could have fought it and gotten more but I was quite fragile and it's a small industry.

Anyway, I've never been unemployed before so it was a bit scary but I was really lucky to find a job quite quickly - I had been on 35k before and took a job for 25k - which was a big drop but I just wanted to work...anywhere!

I'm working for really lovely people, it's a similar industry to the one I was in but not as specialised - hence the pay drop - also, I was a medium sized fish in a big pond before, now I'm a huge fish in a tiny pond...that's not blowing smoke up my own hole. I'm not saying I'm great, just trying to explain the predicament.

Anyway, they are really happy with my work in my current job, it's a higher standard to what they are used too and I have come up with some new ideas which they plan to develop in the new year as they are expanding their business. When it looked like the business wouldn't be expanding they were worried they would have to make me part time (not as worried as I was) but thankfully it all worked out ok

Anyway, I've been asked to apply for a job back in my old industry, I am pretty confident that I will get it and I know the money is better than where I am now. I am not sure why, but I feel incredibly guilty, I feel like I will really be letting my current employers down who have treated me so well, it's keeping me awake at night - and my friends have pointed out that the job would have been quick enough to make me part time if it had suited them so I should put myself first but I almost feel so afraid of letting them down that I'm tempted to not even go to the interview for the other job tomorrow.

Am I being ridiculous? In my last job, management really screwed me over so maybe I feel that because these people are so nice I don't want to let them down, I'm only here 4 months - It's keeping me awake at night - any advice? Am I being insane?

curlzy

Hey OP,

No you're not insane at all. I would feel the same I'd say. You went from a bullying nightmare to a group that welcomed and appreciated you. Of course you're going to feel conflicted and guilty to leave. However, at the end of the day this is your career, not a group of friends so while your sense of loyalty is understandable it is misplaced. It reflects well on your personal ethics that this is a dilemma for you.

I would say the best thing to do is to do your best to leave the company better than you found it, you already have if you've given them improved ideas. So yeah take the higher paying job but give your current employers plenty of notice, perhaps they could promote you or something if they really need to keep you? You absolutely must do what's best for yourself and your career, just try to do it in best way possible, i.e. lots of notice.

Best of luck.

Miss Fluff

isthiscrazy wrote: »

Am I being ridiculous?

Yes, you are.

You haven't even been offered this job so you're keeping yourself awake with a hypothetical situation. Deal with it as and when it arises.

There is ZERO loyalty in business. If you do get the job then try and leave on good terms and give your current employer sufficient notice/tie up loose ends/do up a new business proposal before you go but lying awake feeling guilty about it?

Also, what's the alternative? Remain on a low salary with no tangible prospects because they happen to be nice people? That would be very naive and ever so slightly silly tbh...

Squiggler

I have been in your position, and felt slightly guilty. But a job is a job at the end of the day and you have to put YOUR future and wellbeing before the considerations of the company you work for. Most employers recognise and respect this.

If you are offered the job, and before you accept it, you might consider approaching your current employers and telling them that you have received a better offer, that you haven't yet accepted and that you would consider staying with them if they increased your salary (to match or by whatever you think it would be worth to you/them). If they say no, then go to the other job guilt free, if they say yes it's win/win.

tenchi-fan

Go along to the job interview to keep your options open. If you are offered a job you can start worrying about what you will do.

At that stage you can give your current employer the opportunity to the pay you were offered. It's up to them to pay for your loyalty and skills.