Mature Student Success Stories Please. Also Unemployment to Success, stories please.

LegacyUser

I am a 24 year old female studying biomedical science.
I will not have my degree until I'm just turning 28.
I then want to do a masters, which will leave me about 30 by the time I am fully qualified.
I got a really good leaving cert in secondary school at 18, and got accepted in my first choice of a really good university. I had huge problems with an alcoholic mother at home, and missed so much time because I had to keep travelling home to look after her and my younger sibling. I ended up leaving college in first year, and got a job.
I worked for a good few years but was never earning huge amounts. When I became unemployed I did a short business, communications, and computer course, and did some work experience.
I enjoyed it, but always planned on going back to science.
I reapplied to college through the CAO with my original leaving cert points, and again got my top choice of course.
I am really enjoying the course.

Quite a lot of people I knew in school just left after leaving cert and got jobs that were just average jobs, but at this stage they have worked their way up to be assistant retail managers etc., and they seem very successful and happy to me.

The ones who went to college, have all graduated and some even have masters etc. Some are working as teachers, nurses,accountants, and even in law firms.

An awful lot of people I went to school with seem to be travelling and/or living in loads of amazing places all over the world.

I'm not close friends with any of these people, don't really have contact with people I went to school with. These are just some nice girls who I didn't hang around with,but went to school with, who I occasionally run into, or else hear people mention them.
They have worked hard and deserve their success.

I guess I just feel like I've wasted so many years of my life. I'm going to be about 30 when I'm just finishing my education, whereas the other girls my age already have their careers and lives sorted. I've only ever traveled abroad a few times on holidays with my family for a week or two at a time. I've never got to experience the joy of travelling on my own terms and experiencing different cultures and lifestyles.

I have very little money to save. I am on BTEA, and I have rent, bills, and a large bank loan that I have to pay off every week. Even if I ever managed to save enough to go and travel for the college summer holidays, I don't know if I would be happy going for the full 3 months without my boyfriend.
I have a boyfriend of over seven years, and he is also unemployed and broke, so would never be able to afford to travel, and I wouldn't ever have enough money for the two of us.
He left school really young and has no formal qualifications. He worked in a trade, but I can't see him ever getting a job in this again, and he can't seem to get accepted to any other type of job that he applies to. He is highly intelligent, knows a huge amount about science, history, geography,politics, astronomy etc., through educating himself, but has admitted to me he does not have the confidence to ever go back to 3rd level education due to fear of failure, and also because he is now 31. I can only hope that his luck changes and he finally finds some type of work that makes him happy.


I am normally upbeat and convince myself that I am still young, and that people can go back to education at any age. I know that deep down I DO strongly believe this, I have even tried to encourage my boyfriend to try it, and I am friends with students who are older than me. I always say that it is never to late to change your life, but to be honest for the last while, I've been wondering if I am fooling myself.

The thing is,I am so utterly consumed with regrets over the years I feel have been wasted education and career wise.
I know regrets are pointless and do nothing only bring you down, but nomatter how hard I try, I just can't shake of these regrets.
I'm starting to feel like everything I'm doing is pointless, and that even if I graduate with a masters at 30, that employers will just hire the new young graduates.

I feel like I will never have the life I have always envisioned for myself.
I have no real huge interest in marriage or children in the future, but I always hoped I would have my own dream home built by the time I was about 30-35, and that I would have risen in the ranks perhaps working in medical research. I dreamt I would just have a nice, comfortable and successful life, and be able to afford a few nice little luxuries like travelling the world with my boyfriend even if just for holidays.

I just can't see this happening now until I'm at least 50, and I wonder sometimes if that means I have wasted my best years/youth?
Would I still enjoy all these things just as much at an older age?

I feel a little bit guilty for having a moan about this because I know I am lucky to have the opportunity of an education, as so many people in the world don't have this.
I know I should just be happy to have enough money to survive, but I have always been hugely ambitious, which is why I'm feeling like I've failed myself in so many ways. I feel like I've failed, because my mum's drink problems didn't hold back my older siblings. They just left and have become successful, whereas I kept going back to help, which I have now learned was just enabling her.
I know I'm making up for it now, and I am working very hard to achieve my dreams, but I just feel like that it might all be too late.

Sorry for the moan, but I'm feeling seriously down right now,

I would really like to hear some stories and advice/help from people who have been in a similar situation, and stories from mature students of all ages. I would also like to hear stories from people who are similar to my boyfriend with no formal education, and what kind of work they managed to find.

What are your experiences?
Did things worked out as you planned?
Was it all worth it?
What problems if any did you encounter with employers?
Do you have any advice you could please give me and/or my boyfriend?
Has it improved your life, or been a waste of time and money?

Thank you to anybody who takes the time to respond.

username123

This post resonated with me because of the alcoholic parent, I had an alcoholic father and 'wasted' many years trying to sort things out. I never travelled as a result of it either, as I would have been afraid to leave my mother on her own for a whole summer or a year to deal with him.

Being 30 and finishing a masters is totally fine. My husband left a great job to go back and do a masters and he was 33 when he did that. Its never too late to be in education - so I wouldnt be remotely worried about that. The plus side as well, in the current economy, youre actually better off spending these years in college, as the jobs are thin on the ground anyway, so you might as well be getting educated while waiting for things to turn round.

Im nearly 40 and currently studying part time for my second degree. Why on earth would there be an age limit on bettering yourself?

Your BF needs to wake up, a tradesman in this climate needs to either retrain or get out of the country. Fear of failure is just a bs excuse. Its more of a failure to sit on your butt collecting the social and not working than to change things for yourself. Dont let him drag you down - he sounds like a lazy person who prefers to feel sorry for himself than sort himself out. 31 too old to go to college - I never heard anything so ridiculous in my life!!

You cant live in the past, regretting whats done and gone. You have to accept that thats how it was, thats how you behaved, learn from those experiences and move on.

Id give my right arm to be 24 again, with life and the world in front of me!!!! Youre YOUNG!!!! Plenty of time to do anything you want to do. Just make sure youve learned from past mistakes, your alcoholic parent held you back and let you waste years, dont let your BF do the same, or anyone else in your life. Dont repeat the mistakes of the past and they wont be wasted years, theyll be years gaining experience of life.

LegacyUser

username123 wrote: »

This post resonated with me because of the alcoholic parent, I had an alcoholic father and 'wasted' many years trying to sort things out. I never travelled as a result of it either, as I would have been afraid to leave my mother on her own for a whole summer or a year to deal with him.

Being 30 and finishing a masters is totally fine. My husband left a great job to go back and do a masters and he was 33 when he did that. Its never too late to be in education - so I wouldnt be remotely worried about that. The plus side as well, in the current economy, youre actually better off spending these years in college, as the jobs are thin on the ground anyway, so you might as well be getting educated while waiting for things to turn round.

Im nearly 40 and currently studying part time for my second degree. Why on earth would there be an age limit on bettering yourself?

Your BF needs to wake up, a tradesman in this climate needs to either retrain or get out of the country. Fear of failure is just a bs excuse. Its more of a failure to sit on your butt collecting the social and not working than to change things for yourself. Dont let him drag you down - he sounds like a lazy person who prefers to feel sorry for himself than sort himself out. 31 too old to go to college - I never heard anything so ridiculous in my life!!

You cant live in the past, regretting whats done and gone. You have to accept that thats how it was, thats how you behaved, learn from those experiences and move on.

Id give my right arm to be 24 again, with life and the world in front of me!!!! Youre YOUNG!!!! Plenty of time to do anything you want to do. Just make sure youve learned from past mistakes, your alcoholic parent held you back and let you waste years, dont let your BF do the same, or anyone else in your life. Dont repeat the mistakes of the past and they wont be wasted years, theyll be years gaining experience of life.

Thanks very much for the reply username 123.
I know you are right that it is never too late. Even reading back on what I wrote, I feel kind of silly. I guess I have just been panicking when I see people my age with their careers started, and just felt like I was way behind most people.
My boyfriend doesn't hold me back. He was working when I was first in college and drove me to college every morning on his way. He is the only person who has helped me through all of the problems I had with my Mum and has always been there for me.
He was the one who encouraged and supported me in going back to college. He really wants me to succeed, and is very glad that I'm enjoying the course.
He's not lazy at all. He has worked since he was 15. Before becoming unemployed, he had his own business and was hiring 5 other guys. He worked 6 days a week many weeks and was earning great money. Since becoming unemployed he has done two of those computer type fas courses, which he had no interest in at the start but decided to give them his all and did really well in them. He has applied for all types of office work with the certs he got from these but no joy. He has applied to every shop and bar and store around but is hearing nothing. He'd literally do any type of work rather than sit on his ass. He even did cover work for a guy for a few months cleaning toilets for Swisher. Occasionally he was lucky enough to get a little bit of work with some old work acquaintances , and would do that signing on and then off for the days you had work thing. Even that has dried up now though. He is still applying for jobs all the time, and has just started doing some volunteer work at the local community center. Painting, and yard work etc. Believe me it is driving him up the wall being unemployed, he would much prefer to be in full time employment.

I completely agree with you though that he shouldn't be afraid of going back to retrain in something. He just said he would feel like an idiot in 3rd level because he never did his leaving cert and feels he would be way behind everyone else.
It's his own choice, I know college isn't for everyone and I would never try to force him to do something he didn't want to, although I do try to encourage and reassure him that he would be able to manage it.
He has a huge interest in animals, and I have just recently found a local veterinary assistant plc course . He was very interested in this. They've told him that not everybody who does plc has done their leaving cert, sometimes a sufficiently strong interest in the course can suffice, and that they hold interviews. Their class is already full, but he has said that he will apply when they are next starting again. This is a start for him. I think it's even just the words university or college that scare him, and he is less anxious about the thought of a more laid back tiny classroom based plc course. If he gets accepted, it might help build his confidence for further education.

Anyhow I have probably spoke too much about him now.
I just wanted to thank you again for your reply to my own worries.
I find your story very reassuring, and wanted to thank you for sharing your situation with your Dad. Your story and your husband's story are very inspiring to me.
I feel like a bit of an idiot for my first post. Most of the time I'm logical, but sometimes I get into a panic and start thinking the worst.
I think I just needed some reassuring from real people that things can work out ok because I've been very worried about our future recently.
Your post is proof that things can be good nomatter what age you are at college.
Thanks again.

floorpie

OP, i am/was sort of in a similar position (28, started college late, have 2 masters' now), but i can't comment too much because your post seems to be mainly asking about the future, and i guess i just haven't gotten to that stage yet. But i just wanted to say a few things.

It sounds like you're just starting in first year now (?). This might not matter to you too much, but throughout college i was able to get internships and research positions during every single break i had (summer/christmas etc), and i'm certain that you could do the same, so it's not like you'll be coming out at 30 with a masters and starting from scratch; by 30 you'll have experience as well as qualifications, if you want. And most positions i had paid quite well, so that might be helpful financially, if that's allowable on BTEA.

Two, very few people have their life sorted by 30. Almost every body in my graduating class has gone through alot of changes since graduating, quitting work and travelling, quitting work and getting research positions, start from the start in new degrees etc. Basically, very few of them did the typical 'right things', and most of them aren't established financially or life-wise in any sort of way, but they're all just starting to get on track for all sorts of major successes now (i suppose you could say), at pretty much the age you'll be when you finish. So you wont be unique in the sense that you'll be finishing late (because you wont really).

Don't compare yourself to people you don't know, too. Traveling's traveling, it's not rocket science (or biomedical science in this case!), you can fit that in whenever you and your boyfriend are slightly more comfortable.

Your boyfriend also wouldn't be unique in going back to doing an adult education course for the leaving cert (i had to do one myself).

The main thing i took from your post was, though, it seems like everything's rolling for you now...? It sounds like it's all on track.

username123 wrote: »

Fear of failure is just a bs excuse. Its more of a failure to sit on your butt collecting the social and not working than to change things for yourself. Dont let him drag you down - he sounds like a lazy person who prefers to feel sorry for himself than sort himself out. 31 too old to go to college - I never heard anything so ridiculous in my life!!

The rest of your post is good but this paragraph is fairly...presumptuous.

username123

floorpie wrote: »

The rest of your post is good but this paragraph is fairly...presumptuous.

Yeah apologies to OP on that, I misread opening post and assigned unwarranted laziness to the OPs bf - I misread the bit about being together for 7 years as him being unemployed for 7 years and my brain just hiccuped that he must be pretty lazy to not have had a job for the past 7 years during celtic tiger etc..... Again, sorry.

Anyway OP, dont feel like an idiot for posting how you feel, even getting it off your chest can make you feel better about it and the prospects of education lasting ages is daunting at any age.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

Im 25 and I bought my house early 2010 with my boyfriend. In the following June I was made redundant. It killed me as I felt I was going somewhere with it. In the summer before starting 3rd year I dropped out of college and I passed all my exams, but accepted this job, and worked my way up...

In the last 14 months Ive been temping and I did a fas course, but havnt done anything in 2 months. Im going back to college next September and doing a degree and maybe a masters then so il be 30 by the time I finish too.

My boyfriend has a full time job(thank god) and he loves it which is a plus but hes also doing a masters part time and hel be 28 by the time hes finished. So for now doing up our house is not on our list of priorities.

We dont go out at the weekends and listening to my friends about nights out or friends going to oz sometimes get me down.

But at the end of the day when they are buying their first houses, half my mortgage will be paid so im sacrifising everything now.

Im nervous at the thoughts of going back to college but thats only a good thing. I know il study hard and get my head down and I know itl pay off at the end

Best of luck op x

OwenM

I went back to do a 4 year degree when I was 33 and graduated last year, got a job 6 weeks after the exams ended and am starting a new job next month, I have seen my salary rise by 30% in 16 months - simply because I have the life experience and work experience that makes me a better decision maker. It should be similar for you, I think.

Your OH, keep plugging away at him. A degree is the new leaving cert.

Crea

My brother got his degree at 27 and his Masters at 29. He then did an internship with the UN for 6 mths and now is a contractor with them for the past year and a half. He is so happy with what he is doing.
I did an evening course for 2 years while working and graduated at 30. It was great as it was in an area I was really interested in, unlike the waste of time degree I did when I was 17.

LegacyUser

I went back to university at 28 (I did a degree after leaving school but didn't do very well in it due to long periods of mental illness, and ended up working in jobs that were far below my capabilities). Since then I've done a conversion HDip, a masters and am now doing a PhD. I also worked in between doing the masters and the PhD and found that my age and life experience were assets both in terms of getting a job and actually being able for the work (in an area not vastly removed from yours OP). I suspect a few courses did discriminate against me because of my age but feck it, there'll always be somewhere that will appreciate the value of those few more years of experience. It hasn't all been easy. It sucks not having the money to do things that my friends are doing and in an ideal world I would've liked to have been able to go travelling for a year or two. However, the way I see it is that I still have over 30 years of work ahead of me (well, touch wood) so hopefully I'll have plenty of time for the spending and the travelling, and the extra years of study and sacrifice will mean a more comfortable life eventually. 24 is so young. You're not too old for anything and nor is your boyfriend. Just go for what you want to do and try and get as much experience and make as many contacts as you can along the way.

LegacyUser

in ten years time you'll look back and wonder why you ever even questioned it..

i quit a permanent pensionable job in august 2008 to go back to college.. seemed like a great decision at the time.. 2 months late i was worried... i got lucky and after finishing my post grad (was one year) I got a job, taking a 25% paycut.. but i had a job and was grateful. last year, because of my qualification I got a new job and got a payrise.. i now earn more (ok just a tiny bit more) than i did when i quit back in 2008.. but while there is a recession there are still opportunities.. they are few and far between.. but you could get lucky like i did..

BEst of luck. and enjoy the new few years.. they really are the best years of your life

LegacyUser

Sorry I didn't get a chance to reply sooner.

Just wanted to thank every single person who replied so much for their stories.
I am much more cheered up now, was just looking for reassurance I guess, and you lot have all provided me with some. Thanks for making me look at things in a new and better light.
And Username123, no need for apologies, I would probably have wrote the same thing as you to somebody else's boyfriend if I had mistakenly read it as 7 years unemployed.
Thanks again everyone!

LegacyUser

I got my first degree at 28 and then went on and got my doctorate. As far as everybody was concerned when I started my job I was on an equal level to them. Once you get your qualification you're on the same level and the path you took to get there is irrelevant to others. It's really a 'you' issue.


I'm now 38 and back doing another degree at night. I wish I were 28 again, young one! (and any 48-year-old will probably wish they were 38 and so on)

Ickle Magoo

Glad you are feeling cheered up and reassured, OP. I'll lock this thread since you have resolved this issue. :cool: