What's going on here then?!

merlie

Why would an ex boyfriend of nearly 7 years who am friends with still want to see photos/pics of what I am up too and doing in my life? He told me yesterday to keep the photos coming on my social network page.

He is currently seeing someone, which doesn't bother me, a year ago it would but not anymore. I am getting on with my life. He knows I am happy and life is going well for me. I am keeping busy etc.

We do chat on a weekly basis or so. I am a tad curious as to why he wants me to keep the photos coming on my page. Why would he want to see them?! Surely with a new gf on the scene he has better things to do, then look at my page?!

What is your take on it?
Cheers and thanks in advance for the replies

I think we need some context on this

did you post a few photos on your page, get some "likes", and then he commented "nice, keep them coming"
or was it in a private message completely without background...?

the former might be a tiny bit odd but not a big deal, and the latter would be definitely weird
Still, if you chat on a weekly basis and share goings on, I don't suppose it's odd he sees what you're doing?

BraziliaNZ

He might be a little more interested than he should be. I don't know why people bother keeping in touch with exes but if I were you I'd just forget about him and delete him from facebook. When it's over it's over, in my opinion.

Miss Fluff

You are reading into a throw-away comment way too much here. Sounds to me like it was just a friendly innocuous comment saying that it's good to see what you're up to etc etc. I take it he instigated the break-up? It's just I'm getting from your post that you'd LIKE it to maybe mean something more. I honestly wouldn't read any more into it than him being civil and friendly.

MitchKoobski

Gonna take a wild stab in the dark here and guess Facebook.

If you have him added as a friend and this annoys you, remove him as a friend and problem solved. Shouldn't have added him in the first place if you didn't want him to see your pictures.

Facebook lets you set the privaacy on nearly everything now, if you didn't want him to see them you could easily just set it that way.

But tbh, sounds like a throaway comment that you're making a big deal out of. You talk almost weekly and are still friends sure.

merlie

bluewolf wrote: »

I think we need some context on this

did you post a few photos on your page, get some "likes", and then he commented "nice, keep them coming"
or was it in a private message completely without background...?

the former might be a tiny bit odd but not a big deal, and the latter would be definitely weird
Still, if you chat on a weekly basis and share goings on, I don't suppose it's odd he sees what you're doing?

It was on msn that he said for me to 'keep the photos coming.' Just was curious as to what is going on in his mind when he said that. I am happy with my life and do not want him back.

@ BraziliaNZ I was friends with him before we went out and have remained so after. We spent a big chunk of our lives together and were very close. We both decided to remain friends, as we both felt that it was the right thing. There is no animosity or anything. We have a laugh and still enjoy each others company. There was initial heartache we when split and there were days I could not function etc etc. But that is all times past, and we are in a great place now. So no I do not want him to be deleted from my network or anything else. He is getting on with his life and I am happy for him as he is for me. But it was just a step out of the box for me when he said what he said about the photos that's all.

Thanks to both of you for your replies

sam34

you said ye are still friends. friends like knowing what their friends are up to. it's kinda what Facebook is based on.

LegacyUser

Wow. You really are over analysing it I think. It sounds like a banal comment someone would say to be polite.

It sounds to me like you still have feelings for him and you *wish* there was more to it but tbh I doubt there is.

It might be better for you to cut contact with him. It will help you to stop obsessing over meaningless minutae!

Chips Lovell

Maybe for the same reason your other friends look at your photos on Facebook?

merlie

overthinking wrote: »

Wow. You really are over analysing it I think. It sounds like a banal comment someone would say to be polite.

It sounds to me like you still have feelings for him and you *wish* there was more to it but tbh I doubt there is.

It might be better for you to cut contact with him. It will help you to stop obsessing over meaningless minutae!

No as I said before, I do not want to be with him again, and I do NOT wish to go back with or long for him either. I do care about him yes, but as a friend and that is all. I am not over analysing it. My other friends do not say, ' keep the photos coming!' It was just the manner in which it was said, but I do not have to put anything up to please him, I will only do it if I want too.

He is always checking out my stuff and he tells me he knows things when I do not even think he has looked. He still wants to know everything and what I am up too. I know friends do but not everything, unless I am very much mistaken in that regard.

I do care about my ex and want him to be happy as he does for me too, we are friends but that is all there is too it and am happy with this. I do not know where you get the idea that I wish there was more to it, cos I do not and am not looking for it.

@Vladimir Kurtains Well yes they do, but in this case he asked me put them up, customised settings so only he and myself can see it. Oh lord, now you are thinking that it is some porno pics or something, no its not, I do not do such things. They are of my family, friends and me out or me at work, just normal stuff.

He had also not in as much asked me about changing the custom on my profile settings to friends of friends, so he can see what I am posting on other friends and other peoples walls, my likes etc. He told me if I changed it back to just friends than he wouldn't see what I posted.

No again, I do not want to get back with my ex, too much water under the bridge, but we do get on and have a laugh. We are just friends and that's the way I like it.

Firetrap

At a guess, he still has feelings for you? You know how you feel about him but I wonder is he still holding a candle for you?

merlie

Firetrap wrote: »

At a guess, he still has feelings for you? You know how you feel about him but I wonder is he still holding a candle for you?

I doubt that very much. He has dated since we split and has a new girlfriend, so I do not think so. I am happy that he is girlfriend and that he is happy. So no I do not think there are any candles being held or burning for me with him!
I am happy with my life and enjoying it.

Thanks for your reply Firetrap

Cunning Stunt

merlie wrote: »

I doubt that very much. He has dated since we split and has a new girlfriend, so I do not think so. I am happy that he is girlfriend and that he is happy. So no I do not think there are any candles being held or burning for me with him!

well I think you've answered your own question there OP. In that case he was obviously just being friendly.

A0

If you don't want him back then give this "friendship" a good break. Male-Female very good / very close friendship hardly work. As you say your life is going well... it's going well without him and he has a gf so move on. No need to chat every week, etc. If he likes his actual gf, he shouldn't be showing such interest in your pics/FB page anyway.

Andy-Pandy

A0 wrote: »

Male-Female very good / very close friendship hardly work.

Complete rubbish, i feel sorry for people who cannot have a non sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Some of my best friends are girls and i have never or will i ever be anything but friends with them.

A0

Andy-Pandy wrote: »

Complete rubbish, i feel sorry for people who cannot have a non sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Some of my best friends are girls and i have never or will i ever be anything but friends with them.

Complete rubbish? I think you mean that you disagree.

I'm the same, I feel sorry for people who cannot have a non sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex. That's quite narrow minded to think the opposite sex is there to **** only.

It's off topic but... here's something you'll be interested in:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056215158

I wrote "very good" and "hardly" implying that good male-female friendly relationship can work but then when it becomes too close it hardly works ("hardly" doesn't mean "never"). In general, when both people are single and nice to each other, sometimes it's hard to control your feelings and stay in a friendly relationship...

In the OP context, I found it weird to worry about pictures, etc. when you have moved on and have a gf... So giving a bit of slack to this friendship won't hurt at all. He should let her breathe!