Not really interested in her

LegacyUser

I've been going out with a lovely woman for almost a year
we get along really well, and can go to the cinema, drives, anything

but I view her like my sister really and not as a GF
sure we sealed the deal plenty of times and it was good, but not great

She now wants to move things on a bit, but I don't

Chances are I'll find it hard to meet a woman I can get on this well with again, but I constantly have my eye open for a GF and I don't dream about this woman,

It's like a sister thing,

What should I do...

Try harder to be a BF GF?
Move on?

ideas? please

MrMojoRising

You like sealing the deal with your sister?

Acoshla

Let the poor girl meet someone who loves her, don't stay with her because she's like a nice sister.

LegacyUser

Basically you're saying you have no romantic chemistry with her? It's time to cut loose. Lovely and all as the girl is, you clearly are nothing more than good(?best) friends with her- if you have any respect at all for her as a person, you'll free her from this sham of a romantic relationship& let her be pursued by someone who gets butterflies when he sees her.
You're not wasting your time, in that you're keeping an eye out for someone. But it's really selfish to waste this girls' time by having her keep you company in the meantime.
She'll respect you, and you'll respect yourself, a lot more in the longterm....bite the bullet.

Firetrap

I'm sure your girlfriend would be thrilled to know you see her like a sister and have your eye on other women. If you care about her at all, you'll do the decent thing and let her be free. Bluntly, you're being selfish here. You're keeping her on retainer until something better comes along.

qwertytlk

U cant force yourself to love someone or to feel that spark, thew butterflies in your belly feeling! If you dont feel like that for her then you should end it.
She probably feels the same as you too... Like if the sex isnt great, im sure she noticed!
You both deserve to be ib relationships where both parties feel 100% committed to each other.

Taltos

MrMojoRising

your response is not appropriate for PI/RI. As well as "Being Naughty" you are in breach of our charter. This is not the first time.

Before posting in PI/RI again please refamiliarise yourself with our Charter.

"Reply to threads in a civil and well phrased manner, remember being a Personal Issues board the contents of some threads may be very close to people's hearts."



Taltos

Emme

username_here wrote: »

...I constantly have my eye open for a GF...

Any decent woman would conclude that you already have a GF. It really seems like you're hanging onto this woman (who is probably mad about you) until something better comes along.

I think that your behaviour is despicable. Let her go, and I mean LET HER GO as in cut all contact and don't hang onto her as a friend even if she wants to stay friends with you. She doesn't deserve to be around somebody who's clearly using her.

Miss Fluff

username_here wrote: »

She now wants to move things on a bit, but I don't

The poor cow probably thinks it's all going wonderfully - her suggestion of moving things to the next level is clearly representative of that.

You're clearly not attracted to her so rather than carrying on with this farce, do the decent thing and finish it with her.

Rip off the plaster. Don't start being an a$$hole and continue to see her, make a clean break of it and just tell her you're not feeling it and don't see any future...

Distorted

So you're going out with someone you don't particularly fancy and who doesn't interest you in order to be able to say you have a girlfriend, while looking out for someone better? Sorry, I don't find that very courageous behaviour. Are you just trying to fit in or something? I guess lots of guys do it though, so perhaps you're just being more open about it than some I have seen. Anyway, if you don't end it, it will always leave you with a feeling of dissatissfaction, which isn't a nice way to go through life. It might be that you have very high standards or are not really that bothered about committment, in which case I hope you can be more courageous to do what you want - just remember to treat people like you'd want to be treated yourself, which means being honest and firm but tempering it with kindness if you let this woman down.

A0

username_here wrote: »

I've been going out with a lovely woman for almost a year
we get along really well, and can go to the cinema, drives, anything

but I view her like my sister really and not as a GF
sure we sealed the deal plenty of times and it was good, but not great

She now wants to move things on a bit, but I don't

Chances are I'll find it hard to meet a woman I can get on this well with again, but I constantly have my eye open for a GF and I don't dream about this woman,

It's like a sister thing,

What should I do...

Try harder to be a BF GF?
Move on?

ideas? please

A year with a woman you like but as a sister? She sounds to be a very nice person and willing this relationship to work. I think it's unfair to her. It takes a bit of time to get to know someone, but a year it's quite something! You must know by now what you feel for her (and I think it's clear from your post).

And you have your eye open for a GF :rolleyes: Let her know asap what you really feel. She deserves to know and to move on.