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I am a mess. Please help.

  • 25-10-2011 5:18pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am so down at the moment. Nothing seems to be going my way.

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years in July. He moved abroad because he couldnt get a job in the UK. We had both moved here because neither of us could get jobs at home. Unfortunately I couldnt get a job in his new country and now I'm stuck here by myself. It was our third time trying to do long distance and I had enough of standing in airports crying, so I ended it. I am absolutely devastated and have not been right since. I love him so much and he says he loves me too- however he still cant get a job there and I there: so for the next few years that's that. I am heartbroken.

    Furthermore, I have progressed in my career to a department that I had set my sights on since before i even started university: and I'm terrible at it! I can't seem to get anything right, I don't understand what's going on and whenever someone tries to (repeatedly) explain something to me, I forget it almost instantly. i have never had a problem concentrating before and this is an area where you HAVE to be wide awake & "On" at all times. I leave work crying every single day because I feel so incompetent at a job I was sure I was going to excel at.

    I am so miserable I can't function. I have no interest in reading, going out or any of the things that used to give me pleasure and anything can make me cry in a matter of minutes. I can't even be bothered to brush my hair some mornings. Even shopping for something as simple as a jumper seems to get me stressed out and make me feel as if I don't deserve it and how dare I spend money on myself- and I know how crazy that sounds- it is only a jumper and its getting cold, I can actually justify that the £15 jumper is a necessity in hindsight; however at the time it seems like I am the most selfish self-centred person on earth.

    I go from happy to sad to angry and back again on almost constantly.

    I just feel so tired and down and like I'm not good enough. Please help.


Comments

  • #2
    coolcat63
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 193 ✭✭coolcat63


    Without wishing to diagnose based on your post I would seriously advise you to go to your doctor, or any doctor, and discuss the symptoms of depression..


  • #3
    Drexel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,500 ✭✭✭Drexel


    Hi there op. What an awful situation to be in. I think the first think you should do is go to see your GP and tell them what you have said here. It seems like everything is getting on top of you, stress can effect you in all sorts of ways, and lack of concentration is one of them. It could be a touch of depression too but only a doctor can advise that so it would be no harm getting checked out. Being in a different country can't help, have you made any friends there that you can talk too? Talking to a counsellor would be a good idea to help deal with the break up. In the mean time try make yourself do some of things you enjoyed, go for a short walk, treat yourself to something nice and be kind to yourself. You have had a lot of set backs all at once, you need to give yourself a break, And time to heal. Best of luck let us know how you get on. Don't put off the visit to the doctor, it will help.:)


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi guys

    thanks for the replies, they are much appreciated.

    I think you both are right, I would like to talk to a GP or counsellor. I have told myself I need to get sorted out and then when I decide to go through with it, I feel fine and end up not pursuing it, deciding it was just a moment and I got over it. I recognise that the way I'm feeling isn't right and I hate it, but to be honest I don't even know how I would begin to say it- especially when you consider the first words are always how are you and I will always automatically I'm fine. I run through what I would say a million times in my head; I'm convinced I'm just going to be told there is nothing wrong with me and to stop wasting their time! I know they wouldn't say that. I got as far as ringing the samaritans a few days ago for the first time and yes, it did take me 5 hours to psych myself up for it and had palpitations just ringing and hung up a few times but afterwards it had felt good to talk to someone.

    I have made one or two friends over here but to be honest, nobody close enough that I feel I could talk to them about this. I tried to talking to my closest friend at home but I don't think she really knew what to do with me- I felt bad because she did listen and offered to listen any time but also said she didn't know how to advise me. So I am lucky I have people who care, even if they're not in the same country, but I don't want to bog them down with my problems either.

    I was wondering if anybody can advise me on the work situation? They have paid for me to do a course to train me specifically for this department. However I'm not coping at all. I would prefer to get this aspect of my life sorted out before I take on such a big task (its almost like retraining completely). I am scared of approaching this subject with my boss- especially as we rarely see each other, we don't really have much of a relationship.


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