Befriending?

Fittle

I recently rang an agency, advertising for volunteers for befriending the elderly in my area. I was told however, that they were currently full, and that I should ring back in April! I was amazed at this to be honest.

Anyway, as a single parent, I don't have much free time (alone), but I had hoped that I could do some volunteering in my area and bring my son (9) along. He has no grandparents and that's something I'm often conscious of....During last years snow, we regularly met elderly folk along the road, gave them lifts and brought them to the shops.

Not sure of the 'etiquette' of involving my son in something like this (through an organisation) and I'm wondering if any of you have experience of it and how it works?

Jellybaby1

I'm a bit surprised myself as these kind of charities always seems to be looking for volunteers. Maybe they just keep the 'volunteers needed' image for some reason, a lot of charities have these posters in their windows and on their websites too. Maybe someone from a charity can enlighten us.

The Princess Bride

that's very generous of you Fittle.Your son is lucky to have such a thoughtful mother.

Unfortunately nowadays,it seems that every form has to be filled in properly,i's dotted,t's crossed ,garda clearance if necessary etc....because of fear that someone might have an ulterior motive for wanting to help others.There was a time that people could just go to their local care home/children's ward and give of their time to help others.

It might be easier for you and your son to find an elderly person/couple in your locality who perhaps,don't have family nearby/at all, and would appreciate the bit of company from you both.

With the recent bad weather,and no doubt more of same to follow, now would be as good a time as any to see whether any of the people you met last winter ,are in need of anything this year.If there is a local Community Alert/Neighbourhood Watch committee,they might be able to enlighten you.

Fittle

Yes, the person who answered the phone mentioned garda clearance taking a long time. I really don't want to knock on an older persons door though - my youngfella still chats to me about the 'old' people we picked up in the snow last year - I regret not getting some of their addresses to be honest. I think the death of my own parents (both of them were gone by the time I was 24) really brings home to me what I'm missing out on - and also, what my son is missing out on. I'm a bit of a weirdo in that I purposely sit beside older people on the bus and start a conversation - the stories I hear are amazing.

I am quite involved in my own residents association, but as it's quite a new estate, I find I'm one of the oldest here!! Might try the neighbourhood watch stuff thanks - if any others have some ideas, I'd really appreciate them though, thanks.

tbh

Fittle wrote: »

Yes, the person who answered the phone mentioned garda clearance taking a long time. I really don't want to knock on an older persons door though - my youngfella still chats to me about the 'old' people we picked up in the snow last year - I regret not getting some of their addresses to be honest. I think the death of my own parents (both of them were gone by the time I was 24) really brings home to me what I'm missing out on - and also, what my son is missing out on. I'm a bit of a weirdo in that I purposely sit beside older people on the bus and start a conversation - the stories I hear are amazing.

I am quite involved in my own residents association, but as it's quite a new estate, I find I'm one of the oldest here!! Might try the neighbourhood watch stuff thanks - if any others have some ideas, I'd really appreciate them though, thanks.

Have a chat with your parish priest - I'm not a mass goer but rang.the parish office and explained i'd like to help out, the pp asked me to drop in for a chat which i duly did and now i help out on an as-needed basis.

Fittle

Would never have thought of the PP - thanks tbh.

miltonkrest

Fittle wrote: »

I'm a bit of a weirdo in that I purposely sit beside older people on the bus and start a conversation - the stories I hear are amazing.

you're no weirdo - its a pity there's not more like you.

Jellybaby1

miltonkrest wrote: »

you're no weirdo - its a pity there's not more like you.

I agree, its a nice thing to do. Often on a bus when an older person sits beside me, and the chat goes on and the journey gets shorter because of it, and you leave the bus with a smile!:)

Although, maybe the 'older person' sitting next to me, thinks that I am the older person!

Fittle

I met a man of about 80 on the bus last week, and the story he told me:eek: - he could have written a book...all about his life in New Zealand in his 30s and how his business failed..incredible stuff!

Rubecula

Folks like to tell others about things and it also eases the loneliness for a few brief moments. It is a very nice thing to do to sit there and listen. And as you say you do hear some amazing things.

Gingersnaps

I can't help you out with your original post but I totally understand what you mean about chatting to elderly people. I live in a mature estate and all my neighbours are in their eighties and nineties. I really enjoy hearing some of the stories of their lives. I actually find elderly people an inspiration. So, I don't think it's weird to enjoy talking to older people and hearing of their life experiences. (I'm in my forties so not quite elderly just yet) :-)
Best of luck with your volunteering.

Fittle

I'm in my 40s too;) I definitely find older people very inspiring and interesting and believe we can learn so much from their experiences. My mother, who is long gone and I who didn't have a very good relationship with (much to my regret now) was a wealth of knowledge and taught me more than any textbook ever could. In hindsight, she was only 66 when she passed which I thought was old at the time! Little did I know!

tbh

hope this isn't off-topic, but you reminded me of an old friend of mine

I work in Dublin 2 and usually wander in towards Grafton street for lunch. One day, I saw an old man standing at the corner of Grafton street and Johnsons Court and he was getting harrased by a few kids. I went over and ran the kids, and asked the guy if he was alright. He was selling little religious yokes - saints cards and medals, that kind of thing, and he told me that he was getting hassle off the kids but that he was ok now. So I started chatting to him, just passing the time of day really, and he told me his name was John.

Anyway, after that I'd usually chat to him when I saw him, about once a week or so, and he never, ever took anything off me - I'd ask him if he was ok for cash, or food, or shoes or whatever - never needed anything. He was some character, told me he'd was 80 and had been sent to prison for something stupid in the 40's, didn't deal well with the system and had been in and out ever since. Didn't drink or smoke, knew every ballad going, really interesting guy to chat to. He apparently lived in some sheltered housing down by the quays run by a religious order and didn't like to be there during the day, so that's why he was on Grafton street. He told me the only thing that worried him was that sometimes the kids would steal his money and he was afraid the of the guards, so I gave him my business card and told him if he was stuck to give me a shout.

So one Christmas we had a raffle in work and I won a little transistor radio, so I brought it into town and gave it to John. He was really touched, I was a bit embarrassed to be honest and he seemed to really appreciate it, thanked me profusely. I was delighted I could help and wished him a happy christmas and told him I'd see him in the new year. Unfortunately, I didn't see him again after that, I kept an eye out for him and asked yer woman who plays the accordion on that corner if she'd seen him but she hadn't - so I figured the worst had happened.

A couple of weeks later I went into work and there was a package waiting for me. It was the radio, and a letter from a brother something telling me John had passed away and that he'd wanted the radio sent back to me. The brother also told me that John had left a small sum of money that'd he wanted me to have - I was very touched, and wrote back to say that I'd prefer if the money was given to charity.

That very sunday, what do I see on the front page of the Sunday world??

IRELANDS RICHEST BEGGAR

Big story about how John had died and had left behind a house in Balbriggan and a ton of cash (not to me!!!! he'd had family he was estranged from).
The guy was one of the most interesting people I'd ever met, and I was delighted for him - really glad I stopped to chat to him and have tried to do it with other since. Haven't found any millionaires tho!

Fittle

Tbh, that has to be one of the best/nicest stories I've ever read on boards. You should really write that down somewhere and pass it on to others..(I know you've written it here, but I mean in your 'real' life, as opposed to your 'boards' life;)).

I find some of the stories my mam told me, are getting 'lost' in my re-telling them to my lad - so I'm writing stuff down for him here and there. I know as an adult, I'd love to have a written record of some of her stories.

One of her stories was when she was 20, married to my dad, and in the middle of giving birth to her first child in 1951. Long before the days of scans and so on, the lovely doctor Fergus continued to tell her about feeling four legs on her belly...god bless her, she thought she was having a baby with severe disabilities..and even when she had a girl, she still had NO clue that she was having twins until she had the boy ten minutes later:D