Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

How do I fight these demons?

  • 24-10-2011 2:51pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    registered user going unreg because I feel a bit embarassed... :(

    I got out of a long term relationship several months ago. My issue is that throughout the relationship I had problems with insecurity, at least I think thats what it was. I never took this out on my OH, in fact I encouraged him to go out with his mates, never tried to hold him back and even went through a long stint of long-distance relationship with him. He had no idea how I felt. My problem was whenever he did go out with his mates I would sometimes lie awake at night upset, and I'm not sure why... I don't know if I was convinced he would cop off with someone or if I was just upset he was having fun without me? Is this common?

    In the end it turned out that this particular man cheated on me quite badly, and I found out in a horrific way. Now I'm starting to date again and I'm worried that these feelings will resurface and become even worse if I meet someone new. I don't want to lie awake at night worrying when I know deep down there is absolutely no point. If someone is going to cheat on me they'll do it whether I worry or not but I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can't deal with that anymore :(

    I really don't know what to do... I don't think its a case of low self-esteem... I'm relatively attractive, intelligent and have a wide network of friends. I just don't know what is the cause of this feeling?

    Anyone felt anything similiar or can cast any light on this? Thank you so much.


Comments

  • #2
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    Sorry to hear he cheated on you.

    You know you have these issues and they are not yet resolved so I do strongly advise you not to date until you take some time out to sort the issues. Otherwise they will just repeat themselves in any new relationship.


  • #3
    Squiggler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭Squiggler


    If you have no past history of insecurity it is possible that, subconsciously, you knew he was cheating all along. Or at least that you knew something was "off"

    I'm not insecure or jealous by nature, but I was in one relationship where I would get that sick-nervousness in my stomach when he was out without me. Turned out he was cheating.

    Never had it before in any relationship and haven't had it since.


Advertisement