fathers rights info please

8loopy8

hi im looking for info on fathers rights regarding visitation agreements
i was in court recently over access which was sorted
i take my child every second weekend for the whole weekend ..
im just wondering how this will work at Xmas it works out i have my child the 23rd till the 26th December and im sure this will create issues with my ex we are not on talking terms my child is 2 and i have never taken him in the 2 years over Xmas this will be his 3rd xmas and i feel that because the dates fall on my weekend with my child i am entitled to take him would i be correct ?? she has taken him for his birthday she will have him Halloween and has had everything her way up until we went to court a few weeks back where now i have a court order on access any info from past experience id appreciate it no hear say please just facts thanks

banquo

Fathers' rights? Best of luck in this country tbh.

You're biggest battle here is that the child is 'settled' in a routine of being with his mother on those dates. Calmly explain in court - have you a court date before Christmas? - that you share the parenting and that you would like the child to spend Christmas with you this year. Have detail ready on how you would like to spend it.

Also, it seems that this year it falls to you - AS AGREED - that Christmas occurs on the weekends you have them. How well do you get on with your ex?

Alternatively,

Sonics2k

Hi OP, I'm in the same position as you, and have been for about a year now.

If you have a Court ordered agreement to access on every second weekend, then you will be able to have your children for Christmas as agreed by the contract.

If she refuses access, then you are well within your rights to take her back to court.

8loopy8

yeah that's what i was thinking al-right but im sure there will be issues with me the father having him Xmas weekend it would mean i would have him the Friday then Xmas eve and until 6 Xmas day .. if it was the other way around im sure she would bring in the court order saying i can only take him every 2nd weekend as agreed .. but im sure im in for aloada grief but i am in my rights wont say anything to her till the week before xmas

Maguined

8loopy8 wrote: »

yeah that's what i was thinking al-right but im sure there will be issues with me the father having him Xmas weekend it would mean i would have him the Friday then Xmas eve and until 6 Xmas day .. if it was the other way around im sure she would bring in the court order saying i can only take him every 2nd weekend as agreed .. but im sure im in for aloada grief but i am in my rights wont say anything to her till the week before xmas

In the interests of your child I would try and sort it out with her as early as possible, leaving it till the week before Christmas is not how parenting should be done, I know you don't get along with the mother and I know it is unfair that you have much less rights than she does but resorting to some sort of stealth tactic I do not think is the best way going forward.

Ask to talk to her and calmly sit down and ask her what will happen for Christmas, let her offer her opinion first on what she expects to happen, if she says she wants the child then ask her can you work an agreement as she has always had him for Christmas so you would like to have him this year.

If she is not willing to budge then I would look down the legal route and your case will look better if you tried to work things out before resorting to the courts however saying nothing until the week before Christmas will achieve nothing but aggravating all involved and will damage your childs Christmas experience in my opinion.

The Corinthian

If the court order states that you have your child every second weekend for the whole weekend, makes no specific provision or mention of special holidays and Christmas falls on that particular weekend, then legally you are entitled to have your child over the Christmas weekend.

Problem, of course, is she may block this (even at the last minute when you go to pick up your child) and there is very little you can do about it. The guards will not get involved, if they can help it. You could bring her to court for breach of the order, but again there is very little a court is likely to do beyond giving her a verbal dressing down.

I would seek legal advice on this, as to what options you have, especially in the run-up to Christmas, as they may be able to advise how to ensure that the guards can be called on if she does try to pull such a stunt at the last minute - assuming you want to expose your child to such an experience (not to suggest you should not - it may be better to do so in the long run). However my guess is that you're ultimately at the mercy of the hand that rocks the cradle.

pandamulligan

in same situation. spoke to my solicitor and she said to keep the head down. should you be denied access on a day you are due they are in breach. not a lot you can do either way i reckon if you get them great but if you dont, dont ruin christmas for everyone!! you've just got to keep being the better person !!

8loopy8

i know she is the main career of our child but i am his father if it was the other-way round and it landed on the weekend she was to take him she would just use this as a get out so as i could not take him over the Xmas what i can do is bring her back to the family courts in breach of agreement and she will more than likely be fined as said on the court order i received unless she gives 24 hours notice ..which she will be in her right to keep him I think im going to have to talk to her but today his birthday and she has him its a **** system if i don't pay maintenance i get brought to court why should visitation be any different joke of a system

8loopy8

pandamulligan wrote: »

in same situation. spoke to my solicitor and she said to keep the head down. should you be denied access on a day you are due they are in breach. not a lot you can do either way i reckon if you get them great but if you dont, dont ruin christmas for everyone!! you've just got to keep being the better person !!

where dose being the better person get you or your child ??? is that the example that should be set ?? let the smug bitch get her own way ??
sorry but i think that's the problem this is the first time ive been in this situation if it says every second weekend on the court order i should have him regardless some ppl are Jewish they don't celebrate Xmas Chinese have there own holidays must the holidays come into account before my legal right to have my child every second weekend or shall i just keep my head down and let the smug bitch get her way again i pay maintenance for the upkeep of my son and im unemployed i give more than i can i think your solicitor being a woman has a lot to do with that comment

The Corinthian

As to 'being the better person', I can see the logic in that where a belligerent approach would either be ultimately futile or cause more damage than it's worth. I do however get the impression that in many cases the expression has become somewhat of a defeatist cliché and there are many cases where one ruined Christmas is a small price to pay for a childhood of paternal alienation. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide if it's worth it, but if you do, you should do so calmly.

If so, consult a solicitor. They may be able to advise and even arrange that guards are 'on call' on the day if there's any problems as leaving it till the last minute will guarantee that they'll not get involved. This is all presuming there's a problem, as from what I can see, one has not yet surfaced.

If she can cancel legally (according to the order) by giving you 24 hour notice, then I don't think there's much you can do. The best is raise the issue with her now and get it out of the way, so that at least you know you won't get Christmas with them now, rather than the last minute. Then bring her to court in the new year to get an order specifically for access on such holidays in future.

AFAIK she probably won't even get fined. She'll get a 'stern talking to' by the judge, but that's about it. Reverse the genders and you run the risk of jail time. It's a joke of a system largely because most people, in particular man, don't really care until it's their problem.

spanky7796

i went to court a few years ago with my ex for access , one of his weekends landed on the christmas period and as much as i hated my ex it was his access there was nothing i could do , the acces still stood , and he would have every right to take me to court again if i breeched the court order there was a 2000 euro fine if the court order was breeched by either of us , i didnt stop him from taking the kids christmas but i did as if i could have them part of the day on christmas day which we both agreed on , turned out he didnt want them on the christmas week anyway and came a week early for his visit he was living in the uk and me in ireland, but at the end of the day it comes down to comprmise by both of you and how good ur solicitor is, my solicitor was excellent and would push on the court to enforce the fine, maybe if you both cant agree on christmas day then get ur solicitor to push for the fine to be enforced on ur ex partner and hopefully she will back down a bit but you have a court order , she dont have much of a say if you have that in place as a father its your right to access regardless of wat holiday it is , its the same as if it was a bank holiday weekend

padma

why not sit down and come to an arrangement, after all it is Christmas and am sure you both would like to spend Christmas with the little one, so a suggestion is who's house will the child wake up in on Christmas morning, the other parent gets the child for the afternoon/evening/night. Essentially your going to have this pop up every year. Christmas eve is a Saturday and Sunday is the big day so surely you could bite the bullet and come to an agreeable arrangement with the mother. If she refuses this request well then you have every right to demand your child for the Christmas weekend itself.

8loopy8

so had a chat with mother she agrees with court order:eek::eek: and i have him Xmas i drop him home at 4 instead of 6 it will be a nice Xmas:D:D:D don't lay down lads thanks for all responses appreciated

The Corinthian

Glad it worked out (and that your fears were unfounded).

The way I would view, given past relationship with the mother are so poor, this is as an opportunity to improve things between you. She's made a gesture of good will, in many respects, and I think you should do likewise - even if just a gesture. With any luck this will begin a 'tit-for-tat' of positive, trust-building actions, that may in the long run improve things between you and thus make parenting easier and more productive.

8loopy8

you have a good head on u lad thanks for the advise ill keep it in mind

Fromthetrees

Unmarried fathers forum. Forum Requests
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056372194