Here I go again!

LegacyUser

I am writing this cos I cannot talk with anyone else about it and need to clear my head of this.

Some background information on this. For 6 years we were together, we had both great and bad times. He lives in England. We loved each other a lot and even though we didn't always get to see each other we would make time to chat over the phone or internet. Things went bad in late 2008, which led to him breaking up with me in 2009. Two months after the break up he was with someone else. then that broke up after Christmas, it took him 4 months to find someone else, that didn't work out either and one month after that break up he is now with someone he just met last week and is staying over at her house.

How I know all this, I am still friends with my ex. He tells me when he is with someone, as he did last Wednesday. With all that going on, I haven't moved on. I know its bad but, I still love him very much and I know it isn't doing me any good, but one thing has been really bothering me. I have only lately started to feel disgusted at myself because of the things we did together. I had literally given myself to that man, body, heart and soul. I had and I know, I firmly believed at the time, he was the one I had been wanting all my life, and he was and for the most part still is. I can't seem to shake this feeling of disgust with myself. I have had boyfriends before but never felt like this, and I know it is because I had never given so much of myself to one man before, never put my heart on the line as much as I did with my then boyfriend.

My ex knows I still love him and he won't pursue it either. I have talked with him about the past and such, but he always remembers only the bad stuff..none of the good...and we did have loads of good times together. I do remember the bad as well. I have tried to move on and did go out on a couple of dates but my heart wasn't in it.

My questions are these., After all this time will I ever get to move on? How can I get rid of these feelings of self disgust over the intimate relations I had with my ex?

Sorry this is so long, but thanks for reading.
Thank you for your replies and advice in advance

username123

letsgoroundagain wrote: »

I am still friends with my ex.

This is your problem. Youre not gonna move on while he is still in your life. Cut him out and forget about him, youre just torturing yourself with this unequal 'friendship'.

Janet1986

I agree, cutting contact is the only way you will be able to move on.

I am a friend

You are not his friend , you are his ego boost.

username123

I am a friend wrote: »

You are not his friend , you are his ego boost.

Blunt but true. There is no friendship when one person is suffering the way you are and the other is happily not only moving on with life, but TELLING you about new relationships etc!! Thats not friendship. Friendship is about mutual respect and trust. Not about one person suffering and the other person getting on with life as normal.

If you cut him out and move on then you probably wont feel so disgusted with yourself about the things you did together. Its the unequal friendship situation thats making you feel that way, things that you had a massive emotional investment in, and now he behaves like its all no big deal.

Just get rid of him out of your life, you wont know yourself when this negative influence is gone!

CyberJuice

your probably spending alot of time lookin at his pics on facebook,checking his latest status updates,checking the pages of new girls he is dating and such,this is not healthy behaviour. you need to delete him from all this stuff and delete him out of your life

the only way to get over someone is to never see them and over time you will stop thinking of them,its hard and it could take a couple of years but after enough time you definately will get over it and stop thinking of him and in 4 or 5 years down the road youll look back and wonder what did you even waste your time for..

for future, long distance relationships wont work over a long time,they may be ok for 1 year but after this amount of time one of you really needs to emigrate so you can live togther or its not gonna work,it cant be a real relationship if you only see each other for 1 week every 4 or 5 months or however often it may have been.try find a closer guy next time and your relationship wont have so much strain on it