Need to lose loads of weight: new mindset needed

LegacyUser

I'm now just over 35kg (@6 stone) overweight, my highest ever weight. I'm eating all the wrong food, even though my diet has improved. I gave up alcohol and take aways last weekend and have just finished my first week of the new me. I would usually have had - shudder - 4-5 takeaways in this time and perhaps 15-20 litres of beer. I also started counselling for the first time in my life this week.

But watching my diet today and indeed all week it seems to a good extent I've eaten more crap, instant fast food - crisps and the like- while going to and from places than ever before. It's like I still need something in this food to calm my nerves, to relax me.

I know once I can get on this wagon I can stay with it, but at the moment all I seem to be doing in substituting one lot of bad things for a greater number of other bad things. Today I had to help somebody with physical work and I felt really shít and claustrophobic as I tried to squeeze into small places to do stuff. I need to free myself from this and find something else to relax my nerves and feel fulfilled with. I need new thinking and new, healthier reactions to crap days and the like. Something new to escape to.

Would anybody with more wisdom have any suggestions for developing a new mentality for avoiding all this "snacking" and basically getting out of the position into which I have put myself?

floorpie

I'm no nutritionist, but from my reading and experience, the body seems to be extremely good at modifying its behavior to maintain its current weight, decreasing/increasing energy output depending on intake, and vice versa. Well, it's not that simple, but i'd guess that if you'd normally have had 20 litres of beer in this week (that's quite a lot, well done for quitting), which is about 10,000 calories, your body would've wanted to compensate for those 10,000 in some other way. So either it gets less energetic or you eat more food. Or, if your diet is a certain way, you lose fat/muscle.

So it seems to me like you're being unnecessarily hard on yourself, what you've done so far is a majorly important step. The problem isn't that you have an inherent 'mentality' for snacking, you just haven't hit upon the right diet yet, which is making you have to compensate. It's not as much of a simple matter of willpower that people make it out to be.

Are you trying to stick to any particular diet plan? I'm guessing that you might've been trying something like a low-fat one since they tend to make you feel less full/satisfied than you could, which might lead to snacking.

MiniSquish

Recently I have joined a weight loss programme and in the last six months have gone from being a 5 foot six female weighing 17 stone to now weighing 12 and a half stone. I didn't expect to have been able to do it, I didn't think I had the will power capable of it and I didn't think I'd be able to do it at all. How I did it is that I cut out alcohol (completely), ate mostly green veg and meats like chicken and turkey or fish, I cut out carbohydrates completely in the beginning and I cut out things like mayonnaise, butter and cheese from my diet. It is really possible, I've lost the taste for chips now, I went out for dinner tonight with my Dad and managed to eat 3 slices of the pizza I ordered, I cant even stomach much bread anymore. In my opinion its completely about changing your mind set about food and I think the only way to do it is to completely cut yourself off in the beginning, I allow myself treats now and the only reason I do is that I now have control of my eating and am more clued in into knowing which are the best options and which ones to avoid. Stick with it, trust me you will be so much happier in the long run!

Miss Fluff

You've taken a step in the right direction which is amazing. Have you tried http://www.bodywhys.ie/? I think having a support group like that would really help you now that you have decided to make those positive changes.

LegacyUser

What are you are doing is tough; at least initially. That's why it's rewarding.

Imagine yourself in a clothes shop a few months from now, effortlessly slipping into clothes that are much smaller than those you wear now. Imagine your new body. Your true body.

Trust me, it's a good feeling, and it's very nice looking at that reflection in the mirror, then buying the clothes that you're trying on. Of course, it's nice both from your own perspective and that of the opposite sex. I am speaking from experience. I've been there.


There are two key aspects to what you are trying to do. There is (1) giving up your original dysfunctional diet (which you succeeded in doing - well done), and (2) deciding intelligently and in advance what to eat instead, and sticking with your decision.

Unfortunately it seems that although you succeeded with (1), you did not perform (2) adequately.

As mentioned, I have been on a similar journey. For a few months I gave up alcohol entirely, all refined sugar, and fast food. I had previously been indulging in lots of all three. However, *before* I did this, I decided on a few sustainable meals that I knew I could eat day after day for a few months. That was the key. I then set a date, and after this date, these new choices came into full-force.

The transformation was incredible.

Look at it this way. If you place yourself in a position where you're giving up food that you really enjoy and are habitually conditioned towards eating, but you're not sure what you're going to eat day-to-day from that point on... it is then absolutely inevitable that you're going to reach for 'substitute' snacks in moments of weakness. This is more or less guaranteed to derail your efforts, as matters stand.

The habits that got you to 6 stone overweight in the first place have a lot of momentum behind them. That's why they are habits. In order to counteract that momentum and create new habits (which will become as effortless as the old habits... I have no desire for fast food at all anymore!), you need a plan. It doesn't need to be complicated, but it does need to be there.

If you don't plan your meals ahead of time at this point, you're asking for trouble. At the very least, you need to set a finite, clearly-defined list of allowable foods, and rule out everything that does not fall inside that list. Completely!


I'm not saying that you need to stick with this forever, or that you need to plan your eating for the rest of your life at this point! But, you do need to stick with a plan until you're at a weight you're happy with. You'll know that weight when you see it in the mirror in the clothes shop. At that stage, it'll be up to you to make responsible decisions to ensure that you maintain your new state. For now, your focus should simply be on attaining that state. Cross the next bridge when you come to it.

When it comes, enjoy the moment. I know I did. Some time later, I still feel appreciation when I look in the mirror. I can still scarcely believe that I wouldn't have been able to fit into the clothes I'm wearing not so long ago.


Also... perhaps this part is utterly useless to you, but personally, I love coffee. So, I made that my new 'vice'. I drank as much coffee as I wanted each day, with artificial sweetener (not sugar!). Diet cola is another possible outlet in this regard; I find Pepsi Max the best for taste.

So, whenever I was craving something, I just had a nice mug of strong coffee and did something relaxing that I found enjoyable, like watching a good movie or playing a computer game. There are worse fates.



Make your plan, implement it, and get some weeks behind you. Enjoy the comments people make on how different you look, because after a few weeks, you *will* look different. Then keep going.

And enjoy that moment in the mirror, if you can earn it.

ted1

Write down everthing you eat and you'll soon start cutting back to a healty amount

mikemac

You need something to take up your time OP
You were drinking quite a bit, maybe heading out at weekends or a few cans every evening at home to chill?
This needs to be replaced with something, if you are going home to stare at the four walls you'll be back on the booze in no time.
So exercise or night classes or both, just find new activities

You'll find after a few weeks you'll react to pizza, bread, coke, etc. As after a few weeks off you'll start to be unused to it and it won't be pleasant when you try it again

Another thing is avoid paralysis by analysis. Do you know people who are experts in nutrition, know every diet, know all about carbs/fat/protein and macronutrients and do up Excel files with diets? And then do nothing with them????
Don't be that person OP

So carry on OP and keep us updated

CaliforniaDream

needtoloseit wrote: »

I'm now just over 35kg (@6 stone) overweight, my highest ever weight.

Has everyone just ignored this line?!!!!
OP, I hope you're trolling here. Please get professional help. This is not the place to ask.

sam34

CaliforniaDream wrote: »

Has everyone just ignored this line?!!!!
OP, I hope you're trolling here. Please get professional help. This is not the place to ask.

I took it to mean that the op is 6 stone overweight, not 6 stone fullstop.

Ickle Magoo

CaliforniaDream, if you have an issue with a post or poster, please use the report function and let the mods deal with it.

Remove the brackets which show an independent addition, and the sentence reads "I'm now just over 35kg overweight"...

ItsAWindUp

I would strongly recommend vegetarianism.

floorpie

ItsAWindUp wrote: »

I would strongly recommend vegetarianism.

I'd strongly recommend a very low carb, mostly meat diet, which has been proven to be fully nutritious and easy to lose weight on.

But that's up to the OP to decide, not us!

And i can see why CaliforniaDream thought what s/he did, that line was ambiguous.

Logical Fallacy

ItsAWindUp wrote: »

I would strongly recommend vegetarianism.

I can't think of any real advantage to vegetarianism with regard to weight loss. Most vegetarians i know eat pretty high carb diets, the ones who are in good shape among my friends tend to be ones who are active enough to actually benefit and require the additional amounts of carbs that they eat.

The vegetarians i know who are overweight tend to eat a lot of carbs but not need them, hence the additional weight.

I think most nutritionists and trainers would recommend a healthy diet with a good balance of fruits, veg, nuts, healthy fats, meat and carbs, depending on the persons activity levels.

OP, a good way to deal with snacking is the have a set meal plan during the day, know what you will eat and when and ensure the food you are eating is both healthy and what you actually need. Leave room for snacks, just make sure they are healthy. Fruit is a perfect snack, the sugar it contains will help with the fact that your body is probably having sugar cravings.

I would also strongly suggest taking up some kind of exercise and doing it regularly. There are all kinds of benefits and your body releases plenty of happy chemicals after a bit of hard physical work...you will soon find yourself enjoying both the diet and the excercise more and more and your old habits will be replaced by new ones over time.

Squiggler

OP, it might be worth trying to determine if you have any food tolerance issues.

There really isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. Every body is different. Reducing portion size, making sure you drink lots of water (hunger and thirst provoke the same reaction in the brain so people often end up eating when what their body needed was a glass of water), getting enough exercise and making sure you get enough sleep at night are small changes that can definitely lead to steady (if slow) weight loss.

After that... well, I found that a vegetarian diet caused me to either eat too many carb calories or feel hungry all the time. But I know some people who find it suits them.

For me a low carb diet (lots of leafy green veg and protein foods), avoiding processed foods and cutting out all sweets and alcohol tends to be pretty successful... but takes a lot of willpower and can be difficult to accommodate if you socialise a lot.

Also, bear in mind that increasing your activity level will cause you to build muscle, which is more dense than fat and therefore much heavier. So even though you might lose inches you could initially gain weight (but good weight as higher muscle mass = higher energy usage = more calories burned = reduction in body fat).

Good luck!

LeixlipRed

I won't offer any nutritional advice other than simple will power for snack foods. Try snacking on something that is definitely healthy, fruit for example. Don't worry at first about the main meals then, that's how I lost a good bit of weight a few years back, though on a much more minor scale. I cut out snacking on ****e and just cooked dinner for myself, nothing particularly healthy but not instant food. Cooking in bulk and freezing meals gets you through the laziness barrier.

But to be honest, the main thing you have to do is fill up time. And the only thing that does that effectively and can aid your weight loss is exercise. A proper exercise programme that includes weights will see you seriously shed some weight. But if you're quite overweight, which it seems you are, you should make sure you get professional advice, anyone can hurt themselves in a gym but very out of shape people are most vunerable.

Anyway, good luck with it, it's all in your mind and just think of the positive well being! I thought at 21 years of age I'd never have a flat tummy or healthy lifestyle again. But now, 5 years later I'm very healthy, it can be done!

LegacyUser

OP you should also look at the Nutrition & Diet forum http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=982 There are alot of success stories on that forum.
They have stickies there you should read and how you can improve your overall diet. You shouldn't really look at losing the 6stone as a diet, you really need to look at your lifestyle and change that. There is no point in cutting out all the foods you like lose the weight and then think you can eat what ever you want when you've lost it, as you will put it all back on.

OP please bear in mind its not going to be easy to lose 6 stone, it could take you a year or more to lose that amount of weight but whatever you do I would advise you NOT to sign up to stupid programmes where they have you on 1000 calories a day or drinking shakes for breakfast and lunch as those diets do not work and the vast majority of people who sign up and do them end up putting the weight back on.
As another poster said you will get bored if you are constantly thinking and watching your diet, if you have nothing to do in the evenings you will revert to your old habits. Do you have any interests or hobbies that will distract you from eating bad foods and drinking all the time?
You mentioned you are going to counselling so hopefully that will sort out some of the issues you are having. Best of luck OP

Mighty_Mouse

Like everything good in life..............
health requires hard work everyday to achieve realistic long-term goals.

Why do you want to lose weight?
What is motivating you?
Write 3 points down & repeat them to yourself before & after every session or set a daily reminder on your phone. e.g. target weight xx by 01/12/2011. I don't want diabetes or I hate wearing fat person clothes or I'm going to fight my depression or I'm going to see the the top of Irish mountains.


Remember just like putting on weight, losing it can can quickly build momentum if you stick with it....ie. losing weight makes it easier to run, makes it fun to run, makes you more positive about running, leads to a more active lifetyle, gives you more energy in general..........etc

dellas1979

Think the OP is looking for advice on his mindset rather than nutritional advice. He seems to know where he is going wrong.

Well, you've kindof admitted you are an emotional eater - eat something to fill a void or to keep calm (we all have our vices in these situations to cope - you seem to eat). The trick is to catch yourself doing it - be ultra aware. And when you do realise, stop, think about it and if you do feel like you still need to eat something, eat a banana/apple/fruit/something healthier.

You can change your behaviour without doubt towards food or indeed anything. You just got to give yourself a chance. Sometimes its easier to sabotage yourself, rather than face up to what you need to do.

Capt'n Midnight

Donate blood.

It's a way to loose (some) weight without dieting or exercise. Also it'll give you a warm fuzzy feeling.

Ickle Magoo

Capt'n Midnight, can we stick to giving the OP constructive advice on their issue rather than hijacking their thread to showcase other causes.

Many thanks.

Johnny Bitte

As long a you are healthy and not hurting yourself I would recommend trying to find a class you might find fun to do like salsa dancing etc.

The one thing is motivation. If you can find that dress or that party that you want to be thinner for and hold that thought in your head every time you see a pack of crisps or just dont wanna work out,that thought will keep you on track.

Hope this helps.

moco

The op is 6 stone overweight, they don't weigh 6 stone