Ex says she no longer feels "that" way for me anymore

LegacyUser

Hey, new to this, just looking for another view on this.

Was going out with my ex for about 5yrs, we broke up 4 months ago cos she wanted to be single for a while and all that.

Not gonna get into details on my feelings at the mo but we met up the other day and got talking, she said she no longer feels "that" way about me anymore. I dont see her that way anymore either but then she proceeded to tell me she has made friends with this guy, they apparently dont fancy each other but they've been to cinema a few times and other bits.

What does this mean?? Has she moved on?? She said its just friends and that its weird to have a male friend for all this stuff but i dont believe her. Surely there's something else going on

I am a friend

Yep she has moved on I'm afraid..

Kiera

You said you dont have those feelings for her anymore so what does it matter who this guy is to her?

confused444

confused444 wrote: »

but i dont believe her. Surely there's something else going on

no offense but it's no longer any of your business whatsoever

A0

confused444 wrote: »

Hey, new to this, just looking for another view on this.

Was going out with my ex for about 5yrs, we broke up 4 months ago cos she wanted to be single for a while and all that.

Not gonna get into details on my feelings at the mo but we met up the other day and got talking, she said she no longer feels "that" way about me anymore. I dont see her that way anymore either but then she proceeded to tell me she has made friends with this guy, they apparently dont fancy each other but they've been to cinema a few times and other bits.

What does this mean?? Has she moved on?? She said its just friends and that its weird to have a male friend for all this stuff but i dont believe her. Surely there's something else going on

Once you break up, it's over, I never understand why people meet again... For what? You don't seem to have feelings for her, so move on. And yes, there's something going on...

Chinafoot

confused444 wrote: »

i dont believe her.

I don't believe you, OP.

If you genuinely no longer feel "that way" about her then the nature of her relationship with this man would mean nothing to you.

Be honest with yourself. You do still have feelings for her. She ended your relationship and its ok to be upset about that. If you try to deny your real feelings you'll have a much harder time coming to terms with the end of this relationship.

For what its worth, I think you're right. I do think there is more to her relationship with this man than friendship and I think that she is aware of your feelings for her so she was trying to introduce the idea of someone else slowly, to give you time to accept that she has other people in her life now and she won't be coming back to you.

Chin up, OP. She's moved on and you will too.

Firetrap

I agree - if you truly didn't have feelings for her, why would it be bothering you? Unless you've got some sort of ego thing going. Never mind - it's irrelevant now. She's your ex so whatever she does now is her business. Not yours. Worry about your own patch.

parrai

If what you say about not seeing her 'that way anymore' is true, try looking at it positively...Maybe she is just trying to be friends with you... Ye spent 5 years together so effectively, ye must have an understanding of each other... you know, like ye can talk to each other about daily things... if you both have moved on, this shouldn't be a problem...

Miss Fluff

Ah lads, give the OP a break. He might claim not have "those" feelings for her anymore but after a five-year relationship and a very new break-up instigated by her (it's only 4 months ago) then it's bound to smart a bit, regardless of how much he has convinced himself he is over it.

So yes OP, she may possibly have moved on and while you might not even want to get back with her anymore it's still bound to sting a little. That's perfectly normal.

I think for now maybe stay out of each other's way for a while if it makes it a little easier.

discus

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Ah lads, give the OP a break. He might claim not have "those" feelings for her anymore but after a five-year relationship and a very new break-up instigated by her (it's only 4 months ago) then it's bound to smart a bit, regardless of how much he has convinced himself he is over it.

So yes OP, she may possibly have moved on and while you might not even want to get back with her anymore it's still bound to sting a little. That's perfectly normal.

I think for now maybe stay out of each other's way for a while if it makes it a little easier.

Well said Miss Fluff. Tons of people having a go at the lad. He's blatatnly heart broken. 5 years, sure by that time the girl was probably his best mate and possible partner for life... So now she has a new male friend... she's replaced OP with some new guy. Can't blame him for wanting to know about the new guy!! Sometimes in these cases, not knowing what she is doing is worse than knowing. If he got the full story - ie, if the girl admitted to sleeping with this new guy or something - he'd take the hit hard, but might be better off in the long term, in that he's not gonna be hanging on for her to return. He may even find his head settled enough to move on himself!

G-Money

I'd leave it OP if I were you. If you've no feelings for her anymore, it doesn't matter who she's with. Sure it's not nice to think about but that's just the way these things go.

I suspect though she wasn't totally honest about that other guy though and the fact she is telling you about him I think proves that something has happened, or will happen. Either way, she's single so she can do what she wants. Although I don't think she really needs to be telling you about it.

If it were me, I'd just let on that it didn't bother me, even if it did and I'd just keep my distance or gradually phase her out. I don't really believe in staying in contact with ex's.

All the best anyway.