Is he interested?

LegacyUser

Hey all, going unreg for this. Met a guy about two months ago. Went out once but when he found out a (not close) friend of his liked me he backed off. Have been for lunch a few times since then and he has suggested evening activities (cinema, walks, drinks) a few times. However, he never actually makes concrete plans with me. I'm usually the one to text him and he's been known to just not reply at all. Don't think he's much of a texter, but he's flirty when we're together. All in all, I don't know what to make of it. Am I wasting my time? Advice appreciated!

sarahbro

Unreg and unsure wrote: »

Hey all, going unreg for this. Met a guy about two months ago. Went out once but when he found out a (not close) friend of his liked me he backed off. Have been for lunch a few times since then and he has suggested evening activities (cinema, walks, drinks) a few times. However, he never actually makes concrete plans with me. I'm usually the one to text him and he's been known to just not reply at all. Don't think he's much of a texter, but he's flirty when we're together. All in all, I don't know what to make of it. Am I wasting my time? Advice appreciated!

If a guy wants to see you he will call and make the effort. if i were you i would cut my losses and move on to a guy who will make concrete plans, text first.
If he found out his mate was interested he wouldn't have "backed off" if he was interested himself surely

Beruthiel

Unreg and unsure wrote: »

he never actually makes concrete plans with me.

I'm usually the one to text him and he's been known to just not reply at all.

If a man is interested in being with you, he will make the effort to see you. He will also leave you in no doubt that he is into you.

This guy isn't interested. You're just a diversion for a night.
Quit making dates with him and get on with your life.

Miss Fluff

Unreg and unsure wrote: »

Met a guy about two months ago. Went out once

I stopped reading here. You're totally wasting your time.

If a guy wants to see you he will trip over himself to make sure it happens and in my experience arrange the next date before the one you're enjoying is even over. If he was interested he'd be calling you and texting you and arranging to meet you at every opportunity.

He may be flirty with you but that's because he knows how keen you are and it's a nice little ego-boost for him. Don't start making excuses for his lack of contact by saying he's not into texting. If he was not into texting but was interested he'd be sending a carrier pigeon if it came to it.

This is definitely a case of him just not being in to you but I think you know that already. Don't waste your time hankering over a non-starter hon.

LegacyUser

I'm not sure I agree with previous posters - they seem to assume that this man is 100% sure of himself.

I'm female, but if I like a guy, I most likely give off the impression that I want to be close friends. This is because I'm socially confident, but not romantically so.

On the other hand, I'm less 'on guard' with a guy I just see as a friend, and may thus be perceived to flirt (completely unintentionally, and I'd never lead anyone on).

While this is not necessarily relevant to your situation, all I'm saying is that it's not black and white and I doubt people who know neither you nor him can tell for definite.

IrishEyes19

Im going to take a risk here, because alternatives aren't always the norm on this forum. But this guy could geniunely not be sure. True enough, people will go out of their way to get what they want.
But there are circumstances where people arent in the right place sometimes and feel unsure and can be put off for minor reasons.

Maybe you should make a concrete plan with him, take one more chance and if he fails to do the same. Just walk away. I just dont think its always black and white that people arent that into you. Sometimes the term, its not you its me, rings true.