My situation

MetzgerMeister

Hi all,

My girlfriend and I broke up a week ago. We started seeing each other in August and we only offically had been going out a month and a half.

We clicked from the word go, had a lot in common and really liked each other. I was closer to her after 1 month than I had been to a girl I was with for a year and a half. Don't ask how it happened but it did.

Everything was going well until she asked me to call to her house where she ended it between us. The reason being, she will be going abroad, most likely to New Jersey, to work in the coming months. She said that she didn't think we would get so close so quickly and ended it now as it would be easier on both of us rather than waiting until she goes.

I fully understand where she is coming from but at the same time, I would have much preferred for us to stay together until she left. We are still friends so I'm happy enough with that but I miss her so much it's unbelievable. I'm 25 years old and have been in quite a few relationships but none of them compared to this one. The break up was on a Thursday but it only hit me the following evening and I brokedown. I didn't eat a thing for 4 days either which is odd for me.

The thing is, whenever I think about her, it makes me feel so depressed that I just want to cry. I do consider myself to be a bit of a softie but I don't care. Every so often, something we did together will come into my head and I feel horrible but after a while I'm fine.

Has anyone any tips on how I can get over her? I know nothing will happen between us again so I'm not holding out any hope. I have already tried winning her back but she's having none of it.

I know this is a long, boring post but thank you for reading through it.

BraziliaNZ

einheisserschre wrote: »

Hi all,

My girlfriend and I broke up a week ago. We started seeing each other in August and we only offically had been going out a month and a half.

We clicked from the word go, had a lot in common and really liked each other. I was closer to her after 1 month than I had been to a girl I was with for a year and a half. Don't ask how it happened but it did.

Everything was going well until she asked me to call to her house where she ended it between us. The reason being, she will be going abroad, most likely to New Jersey, to work in the coming months. She said that she didn't think we would get so close so quickly and ended it now as it would be easier on both of us rather than waiting until she goes.

I fully understand where she is coming from but at the same time, I would have much preferred for us to stay together until she left. We are still friends so I'm happy enough with that but I miss her so much it's unbelievable. I'm 25 years old and have been in quite a few relationships but none of them compared to this one. The break up was on a Thursday but it only hit me the following evening and I brokedown. I didn't eat a thing for 4 days either which is odd for me.

The thing is, whenever I think about her, it makes me feel so depressed that I just want to cry. I do consider myself to be a bit of a softie but I don't care. Every so often, something we did together will come into my head and I feel horrible but after a while I'm fine.

Has anyone any tips on how I can get over her? I know nothing will happen between us again so I'm not holding out any hope. I have already tried winning her back but she's having none of it.

I know this is a long, boring post but thank you for reading through it.

The recipe for getting over someone is simple. There's no escaping the thoughts and emotions that will be inside you for the next while. If she has ended it well you just have to accept that. No more contact with her, and just get on with your life, try and do some interesting things, exercise more and if you're a boozer like me, lay off the drink.
In time, in a month, 2 months, 3 months, you'll find you're not thinking of her much anymore, et voila, you're healed.

But more likely you'll fall into the trap most men do and start calling, texting, hoping - just don't do that - but you probably will anyway until you learn your lesson!

Good luck.

floorpie

And if you're not already, try to work on yourself for a while, however you choose to: hobbies, gym, diet (don't not eat for four days!), socializing; it has a two pronged effect of being a distraction, as well as being attractive.

MetzgerMeister

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

The recipe for getting over someone is simple. There's no escaping the thoughts and emotions that will be inside you for the next while. If she has ended it well you just have to accept that. No more contact with her, and just get on with your life, try and do some interesting things, exercise more and if you're a boozer like me, lay off the drink.
In time, in a month, 2 months, 3 months, you'll find you're not thinking of her much anymore, et voila, you're healed.

But more likely you'll fall into the trap most men do and start calling, texting, hoping - just don't do that - but you probably will anyway until you learn your lesson!

Good luck.

I have already accepted that it ended well. We aren't texting or anything but we left on very good speaking terms. It only hit me the next evening and it's since then that all these feelings arose.

floorpie wrote: »

And if you're not already, try to work on yourself for a while, however you choose to: hobbies, gym, diet (don't not eat for four days!), socializing; it has a two pronged effect of being a distraction, as well as being attractive.

I do this already but not eating wasn't in my plans. I just didn't have any appetite at all and I had a constant feeling of nausea.

Last Saturday night my friends all dropped what they had planned and took me out to the pub and club. I'm not much of a drinker but I really enjoyed it and even met a new girl. I don't think I'm ready for anything yet though so can't let myself get close to her.

Thank you both for your replies

Beruthiel

einheisserschre wrote: »

but not eating wasn't in my plans. I just didn't have any appetite at all and I had a constant feeling of nausea.

I had that after my marriage finished. Lost a ton of weight. Couldn't eat or actually swallow the food as my throat was constricted.
Know that this is just the way it is for a while, as the weeks go by it will get better. It's a form of grieving.
Keep going out with your mates and distracting yourself.
In six months you'll be back to the old you.
Best of luck.

MetzgerMeister

Bit of an update for you all!

Things are going well with this new girl but despite everyone's advice which I have put into play, I'm still not over my ex.

Time is healing my wounds well so it's just a matter of time!

Taltos

OP - don't want to pour water over this - but if you are rushing into a new relationship so soon there is a good chance she will just be your rebound-girl. Before continuing down this route - please be honest with yourself - just is it really fair on the new girl if you are not over your ex? Otherwise continue with the advice above in regards to staying busy...

MetzgerMeister

Thanks for your post! We are only friends still and haven't even kissed. I explained my circumstances to her when we met and she understands.

I agree with your opinion of rebound girl but by telling her this, I made sure not to let that happen. We will step things up a bit when we're both ready.