Do I need to tell him?

LegacyUser

Hey. I just came out of a long term relationship about 6 months ago. I've been seeing a new fella for the past couple of months. I like him but I'm not really ready to be 'in a relationship'. Now, we've sort of talked about this... I told him I don't want 'a really serious relationship' and he said hes not looking for that either. But I'm sort of at a loss as to where we are now. He comes over to mine regularly and has stayed several times, I've been introduced to a heap of his friends and I get the impression they have heard of me...

Basically I get the impression he really likes me. I like him too but I don't know whether I'm ready to give up my freedom to another relationship so soon. Not that I want to go out and sleep around but I'd like to be able to kiss other men or even just flirt without feeling guilty about it. Do you think based on the above it would be wrong of me to do that? And if I did go out and meet someone else, should I tell him? Or should I just tell him how I feel? I wouldnt know how to do that without making it sound like I just don't want to see him anymore.

Or am I just being really selfish here..

allgirlz

Sorry to say it but you are being a bit selfish, you are either in a relationship or you are not. There are no half measures, this guy obviously is hoping that as you are still with him you have changed your mind. You need to be straight with him and break up, otherwise you are being very unfair. Best of luck with it all, I know these things can be hard to do but if you are not straight you are just going to hurt this guy.

floorpie

So you're asking if it's ok to flirt/meet/kiss/sleep with other people, without telling the guy who you've been seeing for several months?

Unless you talked about it and he explicitly said that it's ok, it's not ok. You said you already talked and said you don't want a serious relationship, which he agreed with. It wont be that taxing on you to bring up the same topic again, seeing as the ice has already been broken, this time being a little more clear, i.e. i don't want a serious relationship, and (you can't just say the first part, this is the important bit...) i want the option of meeting other people.

You're not being selfish, it's the type of situation that one can fall into accidentally, but you do have to straighten things up.

fungun

there is a difference between 'not being in a serious relationship' and 'not being in a relationship'.

If you said to him you dont want a serious reln, to me that means you dont want to get overly emotionally committed, not that you can kiss other guys.

Miss Fluff

You need to talk to him again, specifically about his expectations when it comes to exclusivity etc.

He sounds keen so don't lead him on if you want to go out and play. It doesn't sound like you intend to though so just have the conversation and be done with it

Simi know it all

Well, I am sure you are expecting that he would be honest with, so more likely he expects same. If you don't feel ready then tell him now because you will break his heart later and we all know it's f....g hurts. So girl, be honest and you can't loose anything, if you lie you will loose yourself .....
All the best

parrai

it sounds like he wants a relationship... You have just broken up a short while ago from a lengthy relationship, so it is natural to want to not feel 'tied down'. You need to clarify what he wants and if it's something serious you need to put him straight... He won't like it but it'll be for the best... Otherwise ye'll end up hating each other...