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I can't stand my father in law

  • 18-10-2011 2:03pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm married a while now and I can't bear my father in law. He's rude, abrasive, constantly slags my husband and his siblings and is very demanding. My husband knows how I feel but, understandably, tries to defend his father. They have a way of communicating which mainly involves his father putting him down and making fun of minor incidents. His weddding speech on our wedding day was one such example, rather than welcoming me to the family or saying what a great day it was, he went on for ages slagging my husband about things he did as a teenager, in college etc.

    He also demands a lot of our time, when we go for dinner it tends to be an all day affair as he is constantly giving my husband jobs to do around his house or demands we all head out for a walk together. He also gets very annoyed if we decline an invite and wants to know exactly why we don't go. Meals are very strained as he continues his slagging and often tries to draw me into making fun of my husband, something I don't and won't participate in, which makes for a very awkward time.

    I know you can't teach an old dog new tricks but I hate seeing my husband being slagged, when I asked him about it he said he hates it too, but that's how they've always communicated and his dad is not going to change.


Comments

  • #2
    Whynotme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 78 ✭✭Whynotme


    Let your husband go alone. Avoid situations where you are in this persons company. Your husband obviously deals with it in his own way, has also grown up with it and has made a choice to accept it. You don't have to.....


  • #3
    alex73
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,731 ✭✭✭alex73


    Play at his game... Slag your Father in Law. Other than that the only option you have is to avoid him.

    It may just be a case of typical Irish Father/Son thing where they can't have a real conversation.


  • #4
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    What a cantankerous old sod, he sounds intolerable. Where is your OH's mother in all of this?

    There's not a lot you can do except when you do see him I'd see him on neutral territory. He might not be as inclined to act the gob****e when away from his own turf....


  • #5
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    I just wouldnt bother visiting his house unless I absolutely had to. Let your hubby see him alone if he wants to.


  • #6
    kneeler
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 38 ✭kneeler


    You are just being too sensitive. It is time to give as good as you get. At least your father in law communicates. Mine has alzheimers and talks rubbish most of the time.


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  • #7
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,446 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    kneeler wrote: »
    You are just being too sensitive. It is time to give as good as you get. At least your father in law communicates. Mine has alzheimers and talks rubbish most of the time.

    So she needs to just 'suck it up' and lower herself to his level?

    OP I feel your pain.. I have someone on my OHs side who I cut out of my life because I find his company unbearable.. He is condescending and patronising to the point of nausea and I had just one too many occasions where I was left feeling frustrated over run-ins with him.. so I simply don't see him anymore and my life is so much more pleasant :) I no longer have to dread visiting him..

    My OH goes to see him, and he brings our Son with him, he still has a good relationship with him but I don't have to suffer him.


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