Children telling lies?

pennypitstop

Ok so most kids are prone to telling the odd fib and you do your best to try and discourage it.
This however is a bit more serious. Apologies for the long explanation....

There is a child (age 9) who is known among his pals and their parents for his lies (mainly tall stories and gross exaggeration). More annoying than bad, but very frequent.

Last year he told a lie which was quite serious and had to be investigated by the school (a teachers job was on the line). his story was proven to be false.
The smaller lies continued to his classmates and friends. The parents seemed to take no action.

Recently he has fabricated another amazing story where he claims he overheard one parents saying something about some children in his class to another parent and reported back to his mother what he claims was said. His mother called around houses and stirred up an awful amount of ****, believing her son, until another parent made some phone calls and proved it to be total and utter fabrication.(I know the details and it was proven without doubt that no such thing was said).
The mother hmm'ed and hawed and fobbed it off like 'oh well he must have heard wrong' etc. No apologies and no 'talking to' her own child.

The parent who is alleged to have made the remarks has not been told of the incident in order to keep the peace. They would obviously be pretty annoyed.(and probably even more annoyed that it all went on behind their back)

White lies and fibs are one thing (not condoning these either) but this child will cause some serious trouble if he continues to tell such serious and dangerous lies. (which seems likely, as the parents don't seem to see it as the problem it is).

What, if anything can be done?

silly

I don't think anything can be done really unless it directly involves you or your family.
There seems to be no point in talking to it with his mother as she seems to take no notice if it.
If I were you I would just stay well clear and keep your own kids well clear of this boy too, the last thing you need is for your own kids to be associated with him and his lies....

jaykay74

pennypitstop wrote: »

Recently he has fabricated another amazing story where he claims he overheard one parents saying something about some children in his class to another parent and reported back to his mother what he claims was said. His mother called around houses and stirred up an awful amount of ****, believing her son, until another parent made some phone calls and proved it to be total and utter fabrication.(I know the details and it was proven without doubt that no such thing was said).
The mother hmm'ed and hawed and fobbed it off like 'oh well he must have heard wrong' etc. No apologies and no 'talking to' her own child.

The parent who is alleged to have made the remarks has not been told of the incident in order to keep the peace. They would obviously be pretty annoyed.(and probably even more annoyed that it all went on behind their back)

White lies and fibs are one thing (not condoning these either) but this child will cause some serious trouble if he continues to tell such serious and dangerous lies. (which seems likely, as the parents don't seem to see it as the problem it is).

What, if anything can be done?

Not sure if I agree with the handling of the 2nd incident. I think the parent wronged should know what was said behind his/her back and the child and his parents face the wrath of this person, not protected from it.

It seems like the parents must learn the consequences of their child actions (since they seem to fail to acknowledge that there is an issue) before the child is given better direction on how to behave.

I would also agree with the previous poster in terms of what you yourself should do at this stage. i.e Dont get involved, keep your kids away from them etc.

Abi

jaykay74 wrote: »

Not sure if I agree with the handling of the 2nd incident. I think the parent wronged should know what was said behind his/her back and the child and his parents face the wrath of this person, not protected from it.

It seems like the parents must learn the consequences of their child actions (since they seem to fail to acknowledge that there is an issue) before the child is given better direction on how to behave.

I'd be inclined to agree. The boy needs to be held accountable for his lies, and there's only one way to do this. I would inform this parent so he / she can approach the boys mother. I know I would like to be told, not to cause a fuss or anything, but I'd like to the mother do something about it.

I would also agree with the previous poster in terms of what you yourself should do at this stage. i.e Dont get involved, keep your kids away from them etc.

Exactly.

Moonbeam

To me it sounds like a cry for attention from the boy and at 9 he is old enough to understand the consequences of his actions.
I think his parents need to deal with it but I don't think there is anyhting that you can do.

pennypitstop

Abi wrote: »

I'd be inclined to agree. The boy needs to be held accountable for his lies, and there's only one way to do this. I would inform this parent so he / she can approach the boys mother. I know I would like to be told, not to cause a fuss or anything, but I'd like to the mother do something about it.

Thanks for replies.
Yes its a tough one alright (there is 6 parents involved ).
The general concensus among the group is that it is over now and telling the parent will start up another storm of 'who told you?' and 'thats not what was said', he said...she said etc.

No one wants the hassle as we are all neighbours and these children are in the same class and all play on local sports teams etc (and will do for years to come) and tbh some of the parents are adamant that it should be left lie at this stage.

Abi

pennypitstop wrote: »

Thanks for replies.
Yes its a tough one alright (there is 6 parents involved ).
The general concensus among the group is that it is over now and telling the parent will start up another storm of 'who told you?' and 'thats not what was said', he said...she said etc.

No one wants the hassle as we are all neighbours and these children are in the same class and all play on local sports teams etc (and will do for years to come) and tbh some of the parents are adamant that it should be left lie at this stage.

It is a pity, because this child will have learned nothing only that he can get away with this kind of behaviour. The next lie he tells could be the zinger that gets someone in serious trouble.

Penny Dreadful

Abi wrote: »

It is a pity, because this child will have learned nothing only that he can get away with this kind of behaviour. The next lie he tells could be the zinger that gets someone in serious trouble.[/QUOTE]

This is very true. Its one thing children telling white lies (I used to tell lies to my Granny when I was 3 or 4. Silly harmless ones that could be seen right through, but I felt sorry for her being old and at home all day so used to make stuff up to give a little excitment to her life:o).
Thankfully I grew out of it pretty quickly and never told a serious one that would have harmed someone's character. There are some things, that even if there untrue, can be very difficult to come back from e.g. alleged abuse, theft, etc. At 9 years old, the child should know the difference between right and wrong. How would he feel if someone went around telling lies about him all of the time? Not very nice I bet.