Interested girl, not so interested.

LegacyUser

Hi all, posted here a few times and always found it helpful so a bit of new advice needed. A girl in the same circles as me in work recently made it known to me that she had liked me for a while (which i was completely unaware of). I must admit that the idea of asking her out had not crossed my mind before but nevertheless i was really happy and excited by this turn of events. Since we both had mutual friends in the same group and a lot of other stuff going on we figured that it would be better to keep things quiet until we could hang out outside work (yet to happen), however in the mean time it feels like things have gotten a little strange. If im honest it feels like shes not that interested anymore, possibly.

I know im getting ahead of myself here since we've yet to hang out properly but i cant help but feel that this girl liked me for a long time until she got to know me and then didnt like me anymore. If this was the case, despite the fact that nothing has happened yet, i would be devastated because my personality essentially turned her off me.

Any insights? Im sure im completely overreacting but just thought i would get some other points of view.

karaokeman

She had the b***s to tell you how she felt, I say you should go for it.

I'm still yet to meet a girl with that kind of confidence, but confidence is the key, its what most people admire more than anything.

You don't have to do it in work, call her sometime while you're free and ask would she like to meet up someday for lunch (not in work of course).

If you show her you have confidence she will be delighted she made the move in the first place. It will be a huge boost to her self-esteem and your own.

This is a rare opportunity and you never know it might be the best thing that ever happened to either of you.

Good luck .

Young_gunner

karaokeman wrote: »

She had the b***s to tell you how she felt, I say you should go for it.

I'm still yet to meet a girl with that kind of confidence, but confidence is the key, its what most people admire more than anything.

You don't have to do it in work, call her sometime while you're free and ask would she like to meet up someday for lunch (not in work of course).

If you show her you have confidence she will be delighted she made the move in the first place. It will be a huge boost to her self-esteem and your own.

This is a rare opportunity and you never know it might be the best thing that ever happened to either of you.

Good luck .

great advice +100

floorpie

Since we both had mutual friends in the same group and a lot of other stuff going on we figured that it would be better to keep things quiet

What does this mean exactly and whose idea was it?

earpiece

Come on man, stick your neck out and get on with it, stop doubting yourself and go have fun with the girl.
Lifes sh1t enough without sitting on the fence.
CALL HER, or I'll kick your ASSet

LegacyUser

Cheers everyone for the great feedback. I should probably clarify that i had actually organised a date for want of a better word so im interested, believe me, there was no fence sitting! It was just the run up to it where it seemed like things were getting a little awkward which is what had me nervous.

Anyways ive sorted a plan that she seems happy enough with, now we just have to see how things go!

Cheers all.

earpiece

dude.... when your nervous, tell yourself your excited....same brain chemicals.
Believe me it works, just say to yourself, "I'm excited"
Enjoy the romance.

gerryk

Sounds to me like some over-thinking is going on. Don't sweat it... you're going on a date. That's the first hurdle.
Now all you need to do is gauge the right time to have your first kiss...

LegacyUser

Hey again all, bit of an update. Turns out i wasnt wrong to be confused. Things have completely fizzled since the first interaction so i had a chat with a mutual friend in work who told me that im doing all the right things but that the girl (even though she began it all by saying she liked me for a year or more) is suddenly not so sure, apparently she kinda wants the old me back, whatever that means. Our friend seems to think she still likes me but is afraid of losing me as a friend.

Essentially that means that she wanted things to go slow from the beginning which is completely fine but up til now its been just me making an effort and now this bit of news from the friend.

Is a sit down is in order or does it just sound to everyone like shes turned off the idea?

I am a friend

Ah she is a serious messer. How dare she say she wants the old you back - what the f???

I would pull back and start treating her like a friend if that's what the wants and start dating others. She sounds v immature.