another LD issue

Mc Kenzie

Hi Guys,

I know theres been loads of these threads about long distance relaionshps blah d blah, and i have seen afew myself but never really thaught into it as it never effected me.

But jus recently i was visiting home and i met someone really nice nice. I moved to the uk and they live in a ireland. i know this isnt terribly far.

Jus wandering how do people do it. Isit really difficult or does it work out if you really want it to ???

Fran79

Hi
Me and now hubbie did LDR for a year back in 1999. It was very hard - I wont lie, but it is a test of how strong a relationship is. We were lucky as we got to see each other every 2nd or 3rd weekend. Phone calls everyday (pre skype), emails. Even actual hand written love letters ( which in a strange way I kinda miss lol).

It can be done, but it is hard.

Mc Kenzie

awww sounds sweet. thanks for the advice.:)

volvoman480

LDR's can be very tough but very worthwhile if you put the effort in to it. I was going out with a girl in 1997, hooked up a couple of months after she started a three year nursing course in London. It was very difficult to be honest. This was long before skype, even before the everyday use of mobile phones. We wrote a lot of letters (I agree Fran, somehow I miss them too!!) made a lot of expensive phone calls (got bollocked by my parents) but generally had a great time even though I missed her like crazy the whole time. God, I even made her a mixtape...... She played it every night before she went to bed. I can recall most of the songs I put on that tape to this day. I still remember the first time I went to London to spend a weekend over there. I paid over £300 for a return ticket to Heathrow!!! If I'd kept the bloody money I spent on her I'd have no mortgage today.. On the other hand, if I hadn't spent that money and put the work in, I wouldn't have what I have now. A wonderful wife, two beautiful daughters, more dollies and teddy bears than I can count, an endless supply of cuddles, hugs and kisses from my girls, a crappy family car, a fecking big mortgage and a life I wouldn't change for anything.

My advice to you OP is simple, go for it. Life is too short for regrets. Good luck..

chickenbutt

I'm doing long distance with my boyfriend now for 2 months, and we have another 2 months before I can visit him at Christmas. It's doable. But it's hard. Thankfully we have Skype! We write letters, packages once in awhile, send texts, talk most everyday, email when we can't, and plan dates on the weekends to watch the same movie together... It's not an ideal situation but when you meet someone you think is worth trying for, you'll do anything.

What's hard for me sometimes is when people ask me if I'm seeing someone, and I say yes, we're long distance at the mo and then I get that reaction of "Ohh... you're one of those people..." like it won't work out. Don't listen to them. They unfortunately have probably never had the opportunity to meet someone who makes them feel like anything is possible! Plus, you'll never know until you try it! Good luck

Mc Kenzie

Its great to see the possitive responces coming back. . Thanks guys.

The only thing im having trouble with is that we havnt actually been seeing(or in this case not seeing:D ) each other long, and i just keep wondering how can i put a hold on him from meeting other people when im so far away. im not actually saying thats what i want to do but i feel abit selfish if we are to be together,...isnt that the morals of a relationship, not to see other people.

I am a friend

I personally wouldn't bother especially unless you have short term plans to move home. Have done 2 of these relationships and it was just torture to start up a relationship from a different country...

Am sure there are plenty of cool guys in London no?

Mc Kenzie

of course there are nice guys in london, but you cant pick and tues who your gonna end up with....:) and also where there gonna be.

I am a friend

You seem to have your mind made up. I am only telling you my experiences. The guys were really nice but the travel and the inability to live in the same country any time soon, put the kibosh on both relationships. All it did for me was waste years where I could have met someone suitable locally...

chickenbutt

If I had not have known and dated my boyfriend for as long as I have (8 months) by the time we had to do long distance, I don't know if we would have made the effort. If you've only known this guy for a few weeks, I'd be hesitant, but that's just me. Also, maybe see what he's wanting to do?

Mc Kenzie

well obvoiously im hessitant..since om on boards asking for opinions .

i appriciate all your points of views and expereinces. something to think about.:)

LegacyUser

Hi op,

As a guy, id like you to say it to me. Def wouldn't put it off just because of the LD issue- you could end up being perfect for each other! But if you're getting on really well so far, I'd try and raise the issue with your bf to see what he's thinking. Just my 2cents, hope things work out for you

Mc Kenzie

:)Thank you ! Yea iv said it to him, he seems to say that we dont know unless we try so im just going to go along with it and see how it goes.

volvoman480

That's great, hope it works out for you.









Eh, if it doesn't work out as planned, give me a shout, I'll do a LD number with you, I loved going over and back to London. Honest to God, the wife won't mind as long as she can come over as well.... All she wants to do is walk around Leicester Square all day.;)

Mc Kenzie

volvoman480 wrote: »

That's great, hope it works out for you.









Eh, if it doesn't work out as planned, give me a shout, I'll do a LD number with you, I loved going over and back to London. Honest to God, the wife won't mind as long as she can come over as well.... All she wants to do is walk around Leicester Square all day.;)

:DLOL!

analucija

I did it for a bit more than a year. But I had a big talk after about 6 months and we decided that I will move to Ireland. Which I did and seven years later we are still together.

Go with the flow and see how it goes. Somehow it was a lot easier after we made some firmer plans. It is nice to have reassurance that it's going somewhere.

LegacyUser

It can definitely work! Met my boy last Christmas and sort of hit it off straight away- A friend of a friend... Found out he lived and worked in the UK (I was in Ireland). I made the 1st trip over and it all sort of went from there with visits back and forth. It's not so bad; I'll never give out about Ryanair again- they're providing a magnificant service

We were very laid back about the whole thing and I guess we didn't commit fully to each other until a few months in.
You need to be pretty chilled out about it IMO if you are just starting out a LD thing. Trust but don't think about things to much or you'll go a bit mad- just go with the flow! It's not that far with cheap flights and skype and that lark.

I am now living in the UK and will soon be hitting on a year together with him soon
Always worth the risk!!