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How much space is enough?

  • 13-10-2011 7:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    I'm going out with a guy for 3 years now, and a constant issue with us is that he keeps saying that he needs more space.
    We used to see each other everyday and since he's brought it up, I've tried to back off a bit. I stay away completely every Monday and Tuesday. I've made a point of taking on a few new hobbies, i go to the gym several times a week and I do really enjoy my own company. I work hard and I have a life, I wouldnt say I'm some clingy loser who's hanging out of him constantly.
    I suppose the problem is that, aside from the few days that I take away myself, we spend the other 5 days together, maybe just for an hour, or maybe for the whole day. I ask him to be upfront and honest with me and to let me know if he's feeling smothered or if he's busy etc and wants a night alone but he never does. I seem to be the only one who ever suggests a night alone.
    We also share the same friends, and I try to steer clear of them when we're apart so that he can get time with them alone etc.
    I'm finding all of this difficult because although he never asks for a night away but if we have an argument or anything, it's one of the things that he consistently brings up.
    I'm always conscious when we're together that maybe he isnt in the mood for me and whenever I let my guard down, it seems to come up.
    He says he doesnt want to take a "break" break or anything. I dont know what to do. Should i refuse to see him when he asks me over? I have encouraged and suggested so many times that he just be honest with me and let me know if he needs a few days etc, he honestly never ever does even when I ask if he would like to be alone. How can I give him to space that he needs?


Comments

  • #2
    coolcat63
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 193 ✭✭coolcat63


    I agree with Sunflower. Give him lots and lots and lots of space - seven nights a week for as long as he wants.

    Let HIM come to YOU and tell you he wants to see you and let HIM ask for some quality time together. If he doesn't then you have your answer.


  • #3
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    Yeah op while you are making yourself busy it seems you are only making yourself busy to pass time til you can see him again.

    His attitude is a bit 'meh' and as others have said, I would be giving him plenty and plenty of space. He doesn't appreciate your company as it's too free and easy. His attitude would put me off him but if you are sure you want him you need to back off and let him know what he is missing.


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