Am I out of order?

greenprincess

Basically a good friend of mine has broken up with her bf of 4 months 2 weeks ago. She talks to him a lot still, at least once a day. She complains that he keeps saying he loves her and wants to get back together, misses her, how he'd do anything for her, etc.

I basically told her that she needs to stop talking to him for a bit. Which she has blown out of proportion saying that she wouldnt cut him out of her life without reason. I explained that is not what I was saying, I meant she should tell him that they just cant talk for a few weeks.

She then went on to say how she cant do that because she needs him, shes not ready to not be able to talk to him everyday. Ok and maybe this was a bit harsh but I told her that is selfish. She cant keep pulling along this guy who is clearly in love with her. To which she told me to keep out and stop lecturing her and also to stop b****ing about her ex, ok I wasnt a huge fan of his because I didnt think they were right together and he moans a LOT but on more then one occasion I have said he is a really nice guy just not the guy for her. I have agreed to butt out but she asked for my opinion on how to get him to stop saying these things to her.

Do you think I have ruined our friendship by calling her selfish? I have said sorry for upsetting her

Miss Fluff

I think you were right to say it to her. She's clearly using him for her own selfish gains while the poor sod is clearly besotted with her and thinks that there is hope for them. You gave her good advice so once she has digested it/calmed down she should hopefully take your advice on board. Good friends should be able to tell one another when the other is acting like an arse.

I am a friend

I think you could tell her you are willing to give advice but only if she listens to it all otherwise, you dont want to know. she is being very unfair to the guy.

greenprincess

Thanks for the advice. She does seem to have calmed down and is acting like nothing happened. I think I will just keep out of it, if she doesn't want my advice that's fine but I will not be listening to her moan on and on about how he wont let go when she knows well she is aiding it!!

SlimCi

You've said your bit to try to help. Now stay out of it or you'll end up the baddie if they get back together.

IrishEyes19

close friends can turn into monsters where relationships are concerned.

You gave her advice, unfortunately it wasnt what she wanted to hear. Id advise to just say whatever she wants from now on, and avoid arguement. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. Unfortunately its this poor guy who seems to be used here.

Overheal

While I don't particularly like it when people hang their exes up on a string when the breakup wasnt mutual, where is this lad's dignity? I don't mean that disrespectfully, but OP are you friends with him? He probably owes it to himself to cut off contact for a while, if she's not willing to.