He's just not that into you push off

ilovesleep

Something has been playing on my mind for a bit. Just wondering would this annoy you or did I make a hullabaloo into telling someone to go away.

Right you're doing something very casual with a guy. He volunteers that he has a small gift for you and asks for your address to send it on and ends up not sending it. You send a message after a couple of weeks: hi, I think there is a problem with the postal service and I never received your package. He replies back with an excuse of some sort. Cold shoulder right there you're given.

Fast forward a couple of weeks later: blah blah blah how about a drink and maybe more in a couple of weeks, he sends.

Gave him a good stern no because he was a head wreck :-)
But missing the dirty antics :-(

Novella

If I wasn't particularly interested, I wouldn't be bothered. If I was interested, I'd get the feeling that he wasn't and well, what can ya do really?

Only being in contact every few weeks, to me anyway, would suggest a low level of interest so I'd just leave it. I wouldn't be annoyed per se, I mean you can't make someone like you, but I'd obviously be a little dissappointed (if I liked him!).

Wibbs

Better for you here ilovesleep

Distorted

I think your reaction was spot on. He sounds manipulative and a head wrecker. And a mean one at that!

greenprincess

Probably better to stay clear of him!

The Lovely Muffin

Novella wrote: »

If I wasn't particularly interested, I wouldn't be bothered. If I was interested, I'd get the feeling that he wasn't and well, what can ya do really?

Only being in contact every few weeks, to me anyway, would suggest a low level of interest so I'd just leave it. I wouldn't be annoyed per se, I mean you can't make someone like you, but I'd obviously be a little dissappointed (if I liked him!).

I agree with this.

He sounds like a total headwreck OP, I'd stay well away from him.

Being in contact only every few days is one thing, but every few weeks? I'd tell him to sling his hook, and gift!

You don't tell someone you have a gift for them, get their address and then not send it until a few weeks later.

You're better off without him OP. There are nicer guys out there who won't screw you about, those are the guys you want OP.

You had your dirty antics with him, was fun, going nowhere, move on. Plenty more men out there to have deliciously dirty antics with!:D

Miss Fluff

If he's only in touch every few weeks then he's clearly not interested.

Considering it's only a FWB then I wouldn't have paid any heed as to whether the parcel existed/arrived or not, not when it's only a casual arrangement between the two of you.

Maybe you were a bit more into him than you realised? If that's the case probably best off you're no longer in contact tbh.

ilovesleep

Thank you so much for the replies. I'm a lot more at ease with my decision to pull the strings.

Miss Fluff wrote: »

If he's only in touch every few weeks then he's clearly not interested.

Considering it's only a FWB then I wouldn't have paid any heed as to whether the parcel existed/arrived or not, not when it's only a casual arrangement between the two of you.

Maybe you were a bit more into him than you realised? If that's the case probably best off you're no longer in contact tbh.

In response to this. I was cool with him but the stunt/trick that he played at promising to send a gift and turning around and not sending it played on my mind a bit, that and he had a neck on him to suggest another night when there was no respect there on his part.

Something else happened within the past two weeks. Me being polite I sent him a messsge on facebook explaining why I was deleteing him. I know, I know, what was I thinking about but I always thought it was ignorant of one just to delete without saying a word. Was also showing I wasn't bitter towards him but I will simply not be played along.

This gave him an opportunity to reply to me saying that he needs time to consider what I wrote and that he will reply properly shortly. Followed by a couple of days later saying that he will reply during the weekend.

Guess what? He didn't reply. So there he was being controlling and leaving with an upper hand on the situation.

I've deleted everything from him and will not contact him again. Have been very tolerant of his ways and will not again.

Fool I am. What he did as well made me feel very cheap also

Distorted

Good for you for acting decisively OP. Whatever he says, I suspect thats taken the wind out of the sails of his sinking ship!

ilovesleep

Hi folks,

I'm not having a good day about this whole situation at all. The fact that he tried to control and play on my emotions not once but twice. Like seriously how can one be so toxic as to do such a thing. Feel into a depressive state today.

Squiggler

I think you're looking at this all wrong. I'd be singing and dancing that I'd found out so quickly that he's not worth bothering about without wasting too much precious time and energy on him.

He doesn't sound worth being upset about.

ilovesleep

Thank you squigger and sunflower for your replies.

I put on my dancing shoes last night and had an absolute blast. It did me great. Slightly hungover but I think its more tiredness and I didn't think of him or his fu(ked up ways once, yesterday or today.

I do know now that if he contacts me again it will be for his own needs and his own needs only and I do not want to get involved with anyone that is controlling and manipulative in any shape of form and thus capable of knocking one down so easily in his ill mannered ways. If which is highly doubtful I will be ignoring him or telling him to take a running jump of the nearest cliff.

Miss Fluff

For your own sake OP I'd strongly advise you against getting into a FWB arrangement or anything casual again as it evidently doesn't suit your temperament. That's fine, it's not for anyone. But for someone who was only a very casual hook-up for you, you have invested a lot of emotional energy into this tbh.

Squiggler

ilovesleep wrote: »

I put on my dancing shoes last night and had an absolute blast. It did me great. Slightly hungover but I think its more tiredness and I didn't think of him or his fu(ked up ways once, yesterday or today.

I do know now that if he contacts me again it will be for his own needs and his own needs only and I do not want to get involved with anyone that is controlling and manipulative in any shape of form and thus capable of knocking one down so easily in his ill mannered ways. If which is highly doubtful I will be ignoring him or telling him to take a running jump of the nearest cliff.

Good for you! I vote for running jump, although probably in the shape of a "No thanks!"

ilovesleep

I received an email from him. He wants me to apologise because my opinion of him is wrong. What cloud is this cookoo living on?

I am a friend

ilovesleep wrote: »

I received an email from him. He wants me to apologise because my opinion of him is wrong. What cloud is this cookoo living on?

What a moron - please tell me you didn't reply. You have had such a lucky escape:)

Distorted

ilovesleep wrote: »

I received an email from him. He wants me to apologise because my opinion of him is wrong. What cloud is this cookoo living on?

From the sounds of it, you are being manipulated by a sociopath. He has worked out which buttons to press, which is perhaps why you are finding it harder than normal to forget him - you probably have had more than one opinion of him and aren't sure which is the right one. So remember, actions speak louder than words, and judge him purely on his actions!

ilovesleep

I am a friend wrote: »

What a moron - please tell me you didn't reply. You have had such a lucky escape:)

No I didn't respond but being a softie came close to it thinking that I did come down stern with him and with all that's happening in the news and all the bad sh1t that's happening in the world that maybe given the circumstances I came down too heavy. I'll be giving it a miss. As Distorted wrote above, I've learned from the past that actions speaks volumes.

I am a friend

ilovesleep wrote: »

No I didn't respond but being a softie came close to it thinking that I did come down stern with him and with all that's happening in the news and all the bad sh1t that's happening in the world that maybe given the circumstances I came down too heavy. I'll be giving it a miss. As Distorted wrote above, I've learned from the past that actions speaks volumes.

Don't worry about him - manipulators like him always thrive. Look after yourself and don't worry about the likes of him.

Firetrap

I get the impression that it wouldn't take much for you to go back to him. It's up to you of course as you're both consenting adults. Just be aware of what you're dealing with.

LegacyUser

Sounds like he's missing the antics too, but frankly I would never give someone a gift because of it. Just sounds like a weird thing to do.

ilovesleep

Firetrap wrote: »

I get the impression that it wouldn't take much for you to go back to him. It's up to you of course as you're both consenting adults. Just be aware of what you're dealing with.

I'll eat my hat if he was to send that non existent gift.

ilovesleep

Am feeling so much more better and have but that bullsh1try behind me (still don't want to have anything to do with him though).

However, we're on the same forums, not boards, and I am so tempted at times to reply to his threads with politics.ie/after hours humourous remarks. Have to refrain so badly because I'd probably be classified as bitter or something. In which I'm not. Just like will be treating him with the contempt that he deserves.

I am a friend

ilovesleep wrote: »

Am feeling so much more better and have but that bullsh1try behind me (still don't want to have anything to do with him though).

However, we're on the same forums, not boards, and I am so tempted at times to reply to his threads with politics.ie/after hours humourous remarks. Have to refrain so badly because I'd probably be classified as bitter or something. In which I'm not. Just like will be treating him with the contempt that he deserves.

You win by blanking him totally... Anything else is only for your own satisfaction but it shows him you are still thinking of him...