Left Handedness is Unnatural

Dr. Baltar

(Shamelessly stolen from r/lgbt but I thought it was excellent Satire)





So, I couldn't help but notice that you were writing with your left hand. When did you decide to become left-handed, just out of curiosity? And why--I mean, with the way society works and all, there are so many tools designed for right-handed people, and I can't imagine why you'd want to put yourself at a disadvantage like that.
You know, they didn't used to let people like you just run free, using whichever hand they wanted. They'd make you write with your right hand whether you wanted to be stubborn about it or not, and if they did it for so long there has to be a reason behind it. It's a tradition that has to be protected, if you ask me; it's just not proper writing if you're not using the correct hand. There has to be a good reason behind the meaning of the word sinister, and I think they're up to no good. It seems like in the past fifty years there's been an explosion in the number of lefties, and it's probably all due to them softening up and letting them practice that strange behavior unchecked. It's going to destroy the fine tradition of writing if we let them keep at it!

But I still don't understand why you'd ever want to do that. Write with the wrong hand and all. Frankly it seems a little unnatural to me; I can't imagine not using my right hand, can't see why you'd ever want to do it. My god, how awkward! It's not like you don't have a choice, like you can't just pick up a pencil with your right hand and write like that. Nothing's physically stopping you, so why should we let you pervert our writing system if you can just write normally like everyone else? Yes, that's right, you're just doing it to be perverse, it can't have any biological root whatsoever. They haven't isolated a lefty gene yet, have they? Unless you can prove it's genetic, it's a choice and you should change it.

And don't give me that crap about one in ten people being left-handed. That's just an overinflated statistic to make us think you're everywhere. Get back in line and use your right hand, and if your handwriting sucks it's your own fault for turning away from the right way to do things in the first place.

Christ, what's next? Lefty pride parades?

WonderWoman!

I had to laugh when I first saw this post

I thought it was a study on how left hand people were unnatural and the author was Dr.B -coincidence or what:rolleyes:

L.Jenkins

Well I'm ambidextrous so blah to unnatural lefties :P

WonderWoman!

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Well I'm ambidextrous so blah to unnatural lefties :P

I thought I was the only one :eek:

L.Jenkins

Nope. Both brained people we are my dear Ever try writing in 2 different languages with both hands at the same time? Quite the challange.

dreamer_ire

Think you missed the religious reasons too... you have to quote the Bible in any discussion about unnaturalness!!

The place of honour is the right hand (Kings and Psalms)
The right hand is the place of wisdom (Ecclesiastes)
The right hand is a place of distinction and favour (Genesis)

Cmon make the full arguement

L.Jenkins

Well in some cultures the use of your left hand to wave is offensive. Take some middle eastern nations who use their left hand for the sole purpose of wiping their *cough* you know! :P

WonderWoman!

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Well in some cultures the use of your left hand to wave is offensive. Take some middle eastern nations who use their left hand for the sole purpose of wiping their *cough* you know! :P

:eek::eek::eek:
and you know this, how ?
oh wait!- it's you im asking

L.Jenkins

Yes WW, it's me you're talking too , now both to the issue at hand (pun :P). Any other ambidextrous people knocking around?

Sonics2k

Dr. Baltar wrote: »

Christ, what's next? Lefty pride parades?

*ahem*
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=144199228183

kiwipower

Damb!
Left hand Dominent ambidextrous!
Lesbian Identifying, Bi, Asexual!
How many boxes can I fill??

PS ItsThatManAgain is right. I learnt in Morocco about the Right hand to eat, Left hand to wipe. :eek:

WonderWoman!

kiwipower wrote: »

PS ItsThatManAgain is right. I learnt in Morocco about the Right hand to eat, Left hand to wipe. :eek:

Eww TMI

ZombieBride

I like being unnatural, my mother blames it all on rejecting the breast at birth.