when you knew you HAD to come out

harar

i know realistically every LGBT person probably understands somewhere deep down inside there will come a day when they will proudly announce their sexuality to their families, friends etc.

im just wondering if anyone can remember (whether they have actually come out yet or not) that factor, that one painfully unignorable happening/stream of conciousness/moment when you knew you wouldnt be able to wait until your parents deathbed or some other very final opportunity?

i was happily enjoying a secret affair with my "best friend" not even aware what i was doing was going somewhere very serious and amazing just knowing it was impossible to stop or deny it. we even discussed the "girly weekends away" after marrying nice men and how we hoped we wouldnt get drunk and accidently wear the face off each other on one of our wedding days.

however. it was the l word that showed me the light outside me safe snuggly closet. seeing a group of gay people just living their lives as if that was just the norm made me realise i could never be happy keeping us a secret, and it was the most terrifying moment of my life.

so in a long rambly way im just wondering did anyone else have a kind of eureka moment like me? or did you just know forever? or wha?!

easychair

harar wrote: »

i know realistically every LGBT person probably understands somewhere deep down inside there will come a day when they will proudly announce their sexuality to their families, friends etc.

That certainly is the popular perception. However, I know a number of gay people who never felt that need, and who just get on with their lives without every having to make a song and a dance about it.

Most of those have had, or have still, a partner and lead normal lives, and they never had to make any sort of announcement about themselves to anyone, including their families, any more than their siblings every had to announce their sexuality to them, or to their families.

How it works for many is that they introduce a girlfriend, or boyfriend , to their friends and family, and their friends and family can then make whatever assumptions they need to make regarding sexual preferences.

Many people, both str8 and gay, feel no need to make any dramatic announcement to their family, or friends. It just happens naturally that their family, and friends, get to know their individual preferences over time.

harar

only reason i thought id start the thread was so that maybe somwbody going through what i (and countless others) experienced might feel like its ok to really struggle to accept. of course everyone is different- gay or straight.

Meesared

I had a bit of a breakdown at one stage, a couple of months back and it made me realise how bad things were getting and I just couldnt keep it to myself anymore.

WonderWoman!

When mum kept stressing how "OK" it is to be different

baby and crumble

When I was in a serious relationship. Whatever about hiding something about myself, I didn't want to hide someone so awesome from the people I love.

Locker10a

I had sort of told a few people i trusted but wasent out to anyone else,
Untill i got twisted one night in a club(straight club) and let this lad shift the face off me(i was very drunk) infront of like everyone Then everyone knew!! Its not a bad way of comming out infact! Much easier then talkin for ages and putting it off!
However i dont recomend this method for parents :eek:

hypersquirrel

I just had a complete meltdown to be honest. I was absolutely miserable at college and the stress of everything was getting to be too much. I just broke down in tears went up to my mother and said "I'm gay and I want to drop out of college". She was far more concerned about the latter....

brokenice

when you know...you know

WonderWoman!

hypersquirrel wrote: »

I just broke down in tears went up to my mother and said "I'm gay and I want to drop out of college". She was far more concerned about the latter....

I would be too