what do girls think of heavier guys

LegacyUser

hey guys

im a fairly normal guy in my mid 20's however i am about 18st and i am 6.2ft, i know i am over weigh and do need to do something about it. 4 years ago i was 15st and then working life took over and im either too tired or cant find the time to excrise. i have had a few relationships and all they girls i have been with have told me im cute and a lovely guy. i dress well and go out a good bit but i;m sort of having a dry patch regards meeting women for the last while, i am a bit quite and shy at frist but my main question here is do girls totaly overlook heavier guys??

male and female responses welcome!

Eve_Dublin

No one has answered your question possibly because perhaps some people don't want to come across as cruel. If you want my honest answer OP, I would overlook them only because I make an effort to maintain the weight I am and would expect the same from the person I'm seeing to do the same. It's just not what I'm attracted to at this moment in time. I like a man whose somewhat physically motivated and likes to go for walks, maybe hiking or swimming etc. but that's just me.

You said you need to do something about it and you're right, you do. Even just for your own health more than anything else...extra weight is not good for the heart and life is too good to cut short...hence the reason I quit smoking almost 2 years ago, so you don't need to be told that again but bite the bullet, OP. Take action and do it now! You'll be working until your mid sixties like the rest of us, so you can't use that as an excuse. If you've time to sit here and type your OP, then you've time to exercise, even if it's something small to start out with like a walk for 20 minutes. Perhaps your tiredness is down to your inactivity, so the more you exercise, the less tired you'll feel. I'm not a fitness guru but I do know that when you start making a real effort to lose the weight, it'll fall off.

Why don't you head over to the fitness forum and get some advice? I see people posting up their diets and other people give them tips on improving it.

Listen, I smoked for years OP and I know for a fact that many men were turned off by that, probably because I stunk and I essentially didn't respect myself. Now that I've quit, I noticed I attracted a different kind of man and now I'm going out with the first non-smoker in my life and I couldn't imagine ever dating a smoker again. I feel proud of myself and that I respect myself enough to take care of my body...only when you respect yourself will others respect you.

By the way, continue to dress well and continue to be a lovely guy you are. All of us are initially attracted to what we see in front of us, that's down to Biology but personality is the glue that keeps us there, so you've got the difficult bit already down.

Good luck and you can do it !

By the way OP, I've no doubt there's women out there who likes bigger men but I reckon you'd be expanding your options by taking action.

LegacyUser

Some girls may not want to go out with a guy who is overweight, while others may like you despite your weight, though probably not because of it. Like you might not specifically look for a girl who is overweight but if you like her enough it hopefully wouldn't put you off her.

If you're not happy with your weight you know you should be doing something about it for your own confidence. By they way, I'm sure you don't look that big, judging by someone know who is of a similar height and weight.

Firetrap

I'm a woman and yeah, to be honest your weight would be an issue. It's not that I mightn't be attracted to you if I got to know you. Human beings are visual creatures and yeah, people who are quite overweight will have a bigger mountain to climb when it comes to this.

ash23

Some will mind and some won't. That's just life OP.
I think you'll find it harder to attract girls in places like clubs/pubs as it's very visual. However that doesn't mean nobody will ever find you attractive.
Also it depends on your standards too. Do you go for girls who are on the same level as you or do you only go for really pretty slim girls?

I'm a bigger girl and I don't mind a bit of extra weight but a massive guy wouldn't be attractive to me if I'm honest. And I'm also aware that I wouldn't be everyones cup of tea either but that's ok. You can't please all of the people all of the time

gmac102

my taste in men has been very varied different shapes and sizes, if i liked you i dont think i would let your weight be an issue, corny as this sounds i prefer who you are

Distorted

Its down to personal preference - plenty of women out there won't mind but I guess anything that detracts from what the majority of people consider attractive cuts down your "pool" of potential girlfriends - being significantly overweights cuts down your odds of finding mutual attraction.

Its not just the physical (I don't find excess weight attractive), its attitude and character as well. You say you don't have the time to exercise or are too tired. I would'nt want to be in a relationship with someone who felt tired a lot. Likewise, like a lot of people, I hold down a difficult job, but find time to exercise and maintain my appearance - exercise gives you more energy rather than making you feel tired, and I honestly would find being in a relationship with someone that negative and unmotivated quite frustrating and a bit unnerving.

LegacyUser

Id have to agree with the above poster. its all about different girls and different preferences. And I know its sucha cliche to say but its also definatly about how you feel OP. if you feel your image is why your not getting with women then it probably is the reason.
I know your pain. I was over weight for a good bit of my life and didnt have much luck in the ladies departement. I took control of it and am now alot happier in myself and my confidence has shot up. If you think that giving yourself a new helathier skinnier image will help you get more women then just go for it OP, grab the bull by the horns and be who you wanna be..( god starting to sound like ona them cringy self help books.
Good luck my friend

solovely

Sorry OP, but I'd have to say weight would be an issue for me. Have had this debate with some friends recently, two of us agreed it would be, one said it wouldn't.

For me, it's not a looks thing. I've actually found some bigger guys quite attractive, especially those with a rugby player physique, and yeah, I could be with them for a night or so.

But long term, and as an indicator of personality, judgemental and all as it sounds, weight would be an issue (unless it is to do with a medical condition). Health, wellbeing and fitness are BIG deals to me. I work hard to maintain my own weight and live a healthy lifestyle. Laziness is a big deterrent to me (in friends as much as partners). Motivation and determination are things I seek out in a guy. So to me, seeing a guy who is overweight would point to someone who lacks self discipline, self worth, motivation, determination, willpower, etc. I know that sounds awful and very judgemental, but I think it's a bit less superficial than being purely about looks.

If I really got to know a guy and realised he was all of these things, and just really couldn't shift the weight, then I guess I could get over my presumptions.

On the plus side, I think there's a lot of women who don't value traits such as the above ones to the same extent as I do. Good luck!!!

LegacyUser

Hey OP,
I can honestly say that weight would not be an issue for me...if anything all those muscly guys that must live in the gym/at the mirror would put me off. please bear in mind that everyone goes through a dry patch occasionally, plus a lot of women do not have the perfect body themselves.
If your weight is bothering you, then i think you should do something about it, but do it for you not for anyone else. And do it healthily, not one of those stupid fad diets. Maybe ask a close friend for advice or support at the start until you get a bit more confidence?
best of luck

Neyite

OP,
I started the Couch to 5k program. While not overweight, I was desperately unfit after being a smoker for years and years. I had to give it up as I got pregnant, and running is not recommended unless you are a pro but once these babies are out of me and I need to tone up I will be pounding the streets again.

Its 30 mins 3 times a week. Very simple. You start by walking with a 60 second run, then slow to a walk etc. Each week gradually increases your running and decreases your walking section so that by the end of 9 weeks you are running 5k.

Like you, I was wiped when I got in the door from work, but what I did was just change into trackie and runners right away and head straight out again. If I sat down at all, that was me parked for the night.

I found I was energised and had a lot more overall energy. There is a thread on the Ladies Lounge which gives links to the podcasts and downloads. Its an inspiring read

LegacyUser

Wouldnt bother me as long as they were nice and could make me laugh.
Making me smile and laugh and having a chat that goes on for hours but only seems like minutes thats all i look for not Brad Pitt with the personality of a goldfish