Conflicted emotions

LegacyUser

Any advice welcome. I'm 29 old I know and I can't drive yet I have taken lessons on and off and a few years when I was still living with my parents they moved outside Dublin and bought a small car for me and my sister to share and learn to drive on. I delayed learning and my sister learnt since, the only problem is she doesn't know the meaning of the word share, my sis is younger, so ever since she had a licence I ve rarely got a chance to practice and my parents never seemed to have an issue with this. My sister had totalled one car and with a few harsh words was given another. I told my mum this morning I never get to practice and she said buy your own car it's not our problem, the only issue with this is costs aside, I live bang in the middle of the city centre and have no experience driving there and can't legally drive on my own anyways, i know a lot of people disregard this but you a not actually insured if you hit anyone so I wouldn't. My Mum the said well if you don't want to buy a car take lessons until you pass the test but my last driving instructor told me I needed a lot more practice. I feel my parents are being a little unfair I'm only asking them to help me out, my mum pointed out that not everyone parents do that, but they did it for my sister to which my mum responded well I ll leave you a car when I die then! I'm not asking for a car I'm just asking to be able to practice on what is now pretty much my sister's car.


Sorry this is a bit of a rant I feel bad fighting with my parents at my age but I also feel especially after pretty much giving my sister a car can't you just help me learn to drive, families help each other out after all. My sister meanwhile is totally unreasonable the car is really dirty and whenever I have practised in it, which was a good while ago at this stage, she rips down my learner signs then they don't stick and I have to spend time finding more.

Any advice welcome.

dafunk

Simple, you need to make a non casual arrangement with your sister that you take the car one week on and one week off each or alternatively one of you has it sun - wed and the other has it wed - sat. Agree the car will always be returned to the other person clean and with a full tank.

You must have at least one friend who has a full driving license, get them to go out with you for practice.

It is not your parents responsibility to help you learn to drive, you are an adult, you come across in your post as having the behavior and attitude of a very young teenager. Yes, your sister took your toy, stand up for yourself and sort the situation out with her, don't go crying to your parents about it.

LegacyUser

dafunk wrote: »

Simple, you need to make a non casual arrangement with your sister that you take the car one week on and one week off each or alternatively one of you has it sun - wed and the other has it wed - sat. Agree the car will always be returned to the other person clean and with a full tank.

You must have at least one friend who has a full driving license, get them to go out with you for practice.

It is not your parents responsibility to help you learn to drive, you are an adult, you come across in your post as having the behavior and attitude of a very young teenager. Yes, your sister took your toy, stand up for yourself and sort the situation out with her, don't go crying to your parents about it.

I see why my post would have come across as somewhat childish I think a lot of it is just frustration there is no point talking to my sister she simply will not budge which is why I asked my parents as they paid for the car to pretty much tell her she has to compromise and they won't. I think at this point I have to get over the whole thing and do it on my own I just find it a little difficult not to feel a bit resentful as without having the facility to practice it will take me much longer. My Dad will happliy teach me but only on the shared car which is never here so pretty much useless. Thanks for the opinion anyways.

lau1247

How confident are you regarding driving??

I like cars since I was really young and learnt the practical side of things watching how my father drives and asking him questions.. So I was reasonably confident..

It is possible for you to just take lessons and do the test?? that's what I did.. and pass the first time..

If you're feeling confident, you can apply for the test and take lessons.. and should have no problem.. once you pass, you can do all you like..

Wompa1

No offense OP but you are 29 years old and making excuses. You're griping about not getting to use the car your parents bought. At 29 you really ought to be independent, also surely your sister doesn't drive all day, there has to be some time when she doesn't even use the car. So if you've got a key for the car go get it and drive

Firetrap

Ah here, your sister surely can't have possession of the car 24/7? I could be wrong of course but you're coming across as passive aggressive. Organise a schedule with your sister so that you can have the car on X day or X evening. If needs be, make out a schedule on a piece of paper and keep to that. Your parents have decided not to get involved in this so it's up to you to stand up to your sister. Do you both have a key to the car? Take the thing and drive it.

Zen65

Conflicted emotions wrote: »

I delayed learning and my sister learnt since, the only problem is she doesn't know the meaning of the word share, my sis is younger, so ever since she had a licence I ve rarely got a chance to practice and my parents never seemed to have an issue with this.

You're 29, so dragging your parents into this issue might be inappropriate, don't you think? They have provided a car for you and your sister, which is astoundingly generous on their part. It was your decision to defer learning to drive, and whatever your reasons the reality is that you have missed that boat.

The next step for you is to discuss with your sister some arrangement whereby she helps you with learning to drive. If she won't agree to such an arrangement then I'm afraid you cannot expect your parents to intervene, you will simply have to find your own solution.

Be at peace,


Z