Contacting new found living relatives...

Waitsian

Has anyone done it? What's the protocol? I realise people value their privacy, and I wouldn't dream of ringing people on the phone out of the blue. So a letter perhaps? I thought I'd explain who I was and how I came to find out we were related, and then leave the ball in their court.

Let me give you a bit of context:

I was born in Canada in 1971, as was my father (Michael, 1936), my grandfather (Thomas, 1892) and my great grandfather (Thomas, 1869). The father of the last mentioned (John) was born in Ireland in 1833 (Farran, Co Kerry). He had 4 siblings (Honora, Mary, Sarah, & Thomas), three of whom along with their mother (Ann), emigrated to Canada in 1852. I have been in touch with descendants of Honora, Mary & Sarah (in the USA and Ontario), and of course John, the latter being my direct blood relatives.

Thomas remained, having joined the 18th Regiment of Foot in 1849. Thomas left the Army in 1871, and died in Cork city. Using BMD records I've managed to trace living relatives, going forward. Thomas had only one child (David b. 1869) with issue. David's son, another Thomas, married in Cork in 1923 and had 2 daughters, Julia and Elizabeth, who married in 1952 and 1953, respectively. Both have quite rare surnames, and having looked in the phone book, I found 17 for the former in Co Cork, and only 7 for the latter.

So what's my next step? There are addresses in the phone book, so write them a letter each? What does everyone think? Any and all advice would be most grateful. Thanks.

Victor

You could ask for birth certs for them from the GRO to see if you could narrow things down, although 24 birth certs will cost a bit.

http://www.groireland.ie/

Waitsian

I've now found a son of Julia, born 1953, and 3 children for Elizabeth, all born pre-1959. So that narrows it down considerably.

Also I've found an M *surname*, which matches the name of Elizabeth's husband, and he's the only one in the country. Should I ring or write?

P. Breathnach

What's the point in contacting them?

I'm not trying to be contrary about it: I don't see a point in linking up with distant cousins with whom I don't share life experiences. That said, since I started my genealogy project, I have found myself in contact with three third cousins on different lines of my ancestry - but it happened in a way that was more or less accidental, in that I went to places that featured in the family history, and found the people.

In one case, I met a woman and asked her questions about the small village in which she lived. She was knowledgeable about how things were in the 1850s, and very helpful to me. When I went again to the village with my sister to show her the place from which our great-grandmother came, I met this woman again. It was only at this second meeting that she disclosed that she was related to me - even though she must have recognised it the first time we met.

Waitsian

P. Breathnach wrote: »

What's the point in contacting them?

Seriously?

I'll give you just three reasons: they could be researching their family tree as far back as they can go and you could help them out with information; vice versa; and photographs. You share ancestors with these people and genealogy is, or rather can be, a never ending search. The more research avenues/leads/contacts the better.

Maybe it's just me but I'm loving every new found relative, new found picture, new found revelations. It's like being a detective and figuring out a puzzle, and every wee "find" gives me a buzz.

Wyldwood

I have made contact with several living relatives discovered on my family searches. When they're overseas I've used email quite successfully but I have also used snail mail. Just write a brief letter outlining your relationship & how you found them & ask if they would like to share any family history they may have with you.
It's very interesting to make contact with other branches of the family as they may have old letters or photos that will help fill some gaps in the jigsaw.

jos28

I'd say write the letter, I have nothing but positive responses from any contacts I have made. It's nice to fill in some of the gaps and hear stories about your shared family. Last year someone contacted me through a genealogy website and it turns out we were connected. I had some old photos which belonged to my Dad and had NO idea who the people in the photos were. One was a photo of a little boy with 2 women. It turned out to be the person who contacted me with his Mam and Grandmother. He was thrilled because his Mam died shortly after the photo was taken and he spent most of his life in foster homes. It was the last photo taken of the two of them together, very emotional stuff.

pinkypinky

Yep, write a letter, lay out IN BRIEF the connection and give them all your contact details to get in touch. They usually do and it can be quite rewarding - even though a P Breathnach says they will have had different life experience. It's nice to be the one to tell them stuff about the common ancestry but it's nicer to find out something you didn't already know!

looksee

Write a letter and has been suggested, initially be brief but show some real evidence and give them opportunity to contact you if they are interested.

My sister has done this in researching our family and has come up with a lot of information, a long and detailed - and probably expensive - piece of professional research from New Zealand. She also discovered that her and her husbands families were in fact related previously a few generations back - very unusual in England.

Waitsian

Thanks all for the advice, much appreciated. I'll write some letters and let you know how I get on if or when they respond.