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Wasting life...

  • 08-10-2011 1:22am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, I am a 20 year old male and I feel in the last 8 years or so I have not been properly happy with my position. When I was growing up my friends, and my 2 brothers and I were best friends and we did all sorts of cool stuff on summer holidays and days after school, whether it be play football, lots of it, play 40/40, tag etc, or just hanging out in general, we did at, as most boys did. As puberty came for me and my friends, my older brother made some new school friends and so did not hang around with us anymore, which is fine. My time with my friends started to decline as we were always busy with school and somehow never hung out together anymore, or played football, since my friends oldest brother moved away from home as did my brother by now, so we never had interest

    From then on we hardly ever called to see each other. When I started secondary school I didn't talk to much people, me and my brother were very shy and we mainly looked out for each other, we only made 2 or so friends we would hang out with on a daily basis, but now we do not stay in contact. I feel like the last 10 years of my life or so have been WASTED, or something, i keep thinking "what if" i did this, and what if i was more outgoing, i wasted my teenage years, when people talk about teenage life they talk about fun, and going out and yada yada, me , i just spent it alone or with my family, very regretful is how I feel =[

    The worst part is how I am usually confident and outgoing, and I know people would have loved me, why did i waste them years and why did i get so introvert-ive.

    Now I am 20 and started college, i feel lonely and regretful on a daily, i NEVER see my friends, they are bad friends, they never ever want to do ANYTHING, and when they do, all they do is the same boring stuff. I'm not saying their lives should revolve around mine but it' so boring, i want to go out and enjoy life especially on the weekends, but they are just so plain and never want to go places, it's been a good year or more since we had a proper night out together, hate it and would like a fresh start =[ i can honestly say i have not had any good memories with my friends in that span of 10 years or so, so sick of it


Comments

  • #2
    karaokeman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,328 ✭✭✭karaokeman


    OP you're only 20. Remember those 10 or so years will only be a small perecentage of your lifespan in the long run.

    College is a fresh start for everyone and you will find more people agree that college years are the best years of your life than the small minority who think the teenage years are the best.

    Try to get talking to as many people in your college as possible. Join clubs & socs and go on the weekends away, trips to town, that way you will make lots of new friends who you can socialise with on a daily basis.

    And if you see anyone sitting on their own in the student lounge, pub or other place, just sit next to them and try start a conversation asking them about what they're studying, why they decided to come to the college etc. The more people you talk to the more confident you will become and you will find many of these people are actually interested in getting to know you.

    Remember most people when going to college break ties with longterm friends and people they went to secondary school with. More than likely the people you meet in college WILL be the people who are your friends for life.

    Good luck and hope I've helped:).


  • #3
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    The first thing I'll say to you is Stop Looking Backwards. It doesn't matter one jot who you hung out with when you were 12 or what has happened in the last 8 years. As has been pointed out already, not all friendships from school or childhood stand the test of time. Far from it from what I've observed. Most adults I know are only in touch with a handful of old schoolfriends at best. The friends they have now are people they met in college and afterwards.

    Reading between the lines, I get the impression that you've not made any friends at college. That is something you need to work on. College is a golden opportunity to meet new people and to make friends. Start chatting to people sitting near you in lectures, in tutorials, in the canteen. Join up some clubs or societies. That is where you need to concentrate your energies, not getting mad at your old friends.


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