I did it! I told them

087

Where do I start, basically im gay, im 32 in rural Ireland. Ive know Im gay for sure for I suppose the last 8 years or so. Before that I was "bi" (not). Went thru a phase where I tried to convince myself I was bi, which was a farce. Anyway, I hadnt told anyone until about 2 months ago when I told my best friend, and a month ago I told another good friend. It has been boiling up inside me the last year or 2 I suppose. The last few months in particular have been really rough mentally. I was all over the place, couldnt concentrate on work or anything and was either on a huge high if I was doing something I really enjoyed or an awful low, which wasnt like me at all. I have very good friend who is gay and was a great help the last few years just to talk to about stuff.
As I said the last few months have been difficult with this secret boiling up inside me. It came to a head last weekend. I felt terrible, just couldnt relax, concentrate or function properly. Monday was as bad, didnt go to work. Monday night I met up with my friend just to talk, ended up having a few pints and stayed in his house. I left early, around 6.30am. I had to tell my family. I was planning on my way home (30 mins journey), what I was going to do. I had it all planned when I got home. Packed my bag and was going to go to England for a few days after telling my folks Im gay. I waited around for my parents to get up, when they did I blurted it out and broke down in tears. I told them I was going away for a few days, that I needed to be alone. I said I wasnt sure where I was going. They were very supportive, didnt want me going in the state I was in but I was determined to go. So I left. I went to Dublin, the drive there was good, I cleared my mind, it was a weight off my shoulders but I knew my parents would have difficulty with it. They are of the "older generation", very catholic.
I didnt go to England, dossed around Dublin for the day and stayed there that night. The next day I called to my sister and her husband who were on my journey home and told them. That was easier, they were very supportive but really shocked. I stayed with them that night. I came home yesterday. My parents are very upset. They will I hope come around in time. I told my brother then yesterday evening, again, shocked but supportive. I cant describe how much of a weight off my shoulders it is.
Its the start of the rest of my life!

PS. thanks to N. on ere (u know who u are yourself) for the last few weeks and my good friend K. for the last few years of support, doesnt seem like much, but trust me its much appreciated.

lottpaul

All I can say is , Wow, well done, take a bow. Congratulations on getting through the last week -- not to mention all of the years before that
You've done something that required real courage and guts - and you did it very well. You describe sensations and emotions that almost all of us can identify with.
I'd have one small word of advice - you've done a hell of a lot in a very short time so give yourself a little break, and don't forget that all of the people you've told will need time to digest what you said. It has taken you years to sort things out in your head - you can be generous and give them a little time to catch up with you. And you've been very lucky to have a friend to talk to. Your parents especially may not have anyone of their generation that they can talk to and may need an extra bit of time.
But, back to yourself - many congrats again! Enjoy the weekend

Conor30

087 wrote: »

Where do I start, basically im gay, im 32 in rural Ireland. Ive know Im gay for sure for I suppose the last 8 years or so. Before that I was "bi" (not). Went thru a phase where I tried to convince myself I was bi, which was a farce. Anyway, I hadnt told anyone until about 2 months ago when I told my best friend, and a month ago I told another good friend. It has been boiling up inside me the last year or 2 I suppose. The last few months in particular have been really rough mentally. I was all over the place, couldnt concentrate on work or anything and was either on a huge high if I was doing something I really enjoyed or an awful low, which wasnt like me at all. I have very good friend who is gay and was a great help the last few years just to talk to about stuff.
As I said the last few months have been difficult with this secret boiling up inside me. It came to a head last weekend. I felt terrible, just couldnt relax, concentrate or function properly. Monday was as bad, didnt go to work. Monday night I met up with my friend just to talk, ended up having a few pints and stayed in his house. I left early, around 6.30am. I had to tell my family. I was planning on my way home (30 mins journey), what I was going to do. I had it all planned when I got home. Packed my bag and was going to go to England for a few days after telling my folks Im gay. I waited around for my parents to get up, when they did I blurted it out and broke down in tears. I told them I was going away for a few days, that I needed to be alone. I said I wasnt sure where I was going. They were very supportive, didnt want me going in the state I was in but I was determined to go. So I left. I went to Dublin, the drive there was good, I cleared my mind, it was a weight off my shoulders but I knew my parents would have difficulty with it. They are of the "older generation", very catholic.
I didnt go to England, dossed around Dublin for the day and stayed there that night. The next day I called to my sister and her husband who were on my journey home and told them. That was easier, they were very supportive but really shocked. I stayed with them that night. I came home yesterday. My parents are very upset. They will I hope come around in time. I told my brother then yesterday evening, again, shocked but supportive. I cant describe how much of a weight off my shoulders it is.
Its the start of the rest of my life!

PS. thanks to N. on ere (u know who u are yourself) for the last few weeks and my good friend K. for the last few years of support, doesnt seem like much, but trust me its much appreciated.

Well done - it's an extremely courageous and daunting thing to do. I think people like you are among the true unsung heroes/heroines of our time.

eimear10

"sigh of relief" Well Done

087

Thanks for the encouraging words.. much appreciated

L.Jenkins

Well done 087. I remember the day I came out only a couple of months ago. My mum rang me about it that day and for some strange reason, my lower back and legs froze up in pain. Much better now, but still alittle awkwardness about it.

OakeyDokey

Glad to hear this, well done 087

i_steal_sheep

Maithú 087. Go cinnte

harrythehat

Delighted for you.

Your parents will come around in time and it's great that your siblings are supportive.