Boyfriend's best friend trouble

pinky 06

Hi everyone. I have a dilemma. My boyfriend's best friend (a girl) isn't talking tome. Disaster. I'll try to make this story short! It began a month ago at my boyfs birthday party. His bessie is a 36 year old and her fella is in his forties. Me and the boyf are mid 20's-but the 4 of us always got on fantastic.
At the party in our house me and her boyf were getting on great-we always did-same sense of humour. So she was drunk and stormed off outside saying that she was being ignored. Not the case-it's just that the conversation wasn't centered around her for a change. She went and huffed to my fella-who told her to stop being a drama queen. me and her fella kept on cracking jokes and arguing over what song to put on next. There were other people in the room by the way.
She came in again and started to shout at him saying that the 2 of us were at it. I was understandably annoyed but let it go as she had a lot of drink. After a while I went out to her and she was crying and apologised so I said fair enough and gave her a hug.Too much drink involved. All forgotten about.
then we went out a few weeks ago and were all having a laugh and I patted him on the back-sitting beside my boyf and her by the way. Next thing I know-the next day I'm in serious trouble with her-apparently I was trying it on with her boyf! So me and my boyf called in to see her fella. he said to just let her calm down and hopefully everything would be sorted soon-it's her own issues and it'll sort itself out. We were all annoyed over it but I let it lie as it's always a case of she's right everyone else is wrong. I thought sure I'll give her some cooling off time and then maybe she'd cop on. Her fella was even joking about it-saying it's ridiculous.
My boyf got a text from her this morn inviting him to her fella's bday tomor nite-but that I was to keep away as I had been caressing his back when we were out that night and the 2 of them agreed they weren't comfortable with me around! In the space of a week it has gone from him saying it'll sort itself out to me trying it on with him and caressing him and they never want to see me again.
Now they've got their own issues-fair enough. But I have been good friends with them for 3 years-since I met my boyf. She has never liked any of his previous gfriends. I have done a lot for her-helping her out in any way I can when she had problems and I'm so upset all day my stomach's in knots. Me and my boyf are very happy together and have been for 3 years. I know there's an age gap between us 2 couples but we always just clicked. Very upset and don't know what to do. I'm just a normal girl in her mid twenties and I feel so embarrassed by all of this stupid drama - there's always some ridiculous drama when we head out with her.
Any advice? I don't know what to do...

Starokan

try not to get upset over it, based on your op she is the one with the problem, its not nice when you get excluded like that & in my opinion she is bang out of order. Its bitter and mean spirited.

trying to sort it out now will probably result in a big scene and dramas which are just a waste of time and energy, i would just give them time to cool off.

Im guessing that on some level she feels her boyfriend is moving away from her, now she sees you as a threat as she will probably see all women.

If i was your boyfriend i would not attend the party and i would let them know why. My advice to you would be dont go grovelling to try and sort this out as by saying you were carressing her boyfriends back she is not just accusing you of trying it on with him, she is also accusing you of attempting to cheat on your boyfriend.

she should be the one apologising , perhaps your boyfriend and her fella will see this too and she may get the message

pinky 06

Thanks you for the advice-you're right I should definitely let it cool down. My boyf fully believes me (sure he was sitting beside us!) and will def not go to the party. He thinks it's just ridiculous and unfair. She has text him saying she doesn't understand why HE is falling out with her over it and she doesn't want to lose him as a friend. I'm sure she knew she was starting something by sending that message this morning. I feel a lot better after reading your reply I was worrying that I was the one creating all this drama. I just needed to hear some outside views as I don't want to involve any friends- it could result in Chinese whispers and things could get even more blown out of proportion. Thank you.

Pebbles68

She really doesn't sound like a best friend to me. She's never liked any of his girlfriends and now she's accusing you of trying to steal her guy. I think your bf should take a step back and examine that relationship.

Esoteric_

She's never liked any of his girlfriends. That says a lot. My bf's best friend (also female) never liked any of his girlfriends, but loved me when I came along, and is now one of my closest friends. If this woman has consistently never liked any other woman your boyfriend has been with, and is accusing you of trying it on with her man, then she's probably ridiculously insecure and can't handle being around other women, who are presumably younger than her if they've dated your bf.

pinky 06

Just a wee update- I called into her boyf in work today and he didn't know anything about the messages she sent yesterday and of course we're still friends. He's going to have a few words with her tonight over the whole thing.
It's just gone crazy out of control. Oh well, there goes a friend- I'm better off without I think so I'm holding my head high and not going to let her get to me anymore. I do think it must be insecurity issues, I'm just sorry I got dragged into this mess. Thank you for the advice it's made me feel a whole lot better! Loving this forum