Tired of being sad

LegacyUser

Im so sad.

On and off relationship with a guy who doesnt a want a relationship, and me who does has left me feeling incredibly weak and unhappy.
He wont leave me alone, I have as of now deleted his number, deleted social networking too, but he eventually always comes back wanting to talk, meet up for a drink. Theres no physical things going on, as in he insinuated a few things a while back but quickly backtracked after I must have shown interest. which I did. I have feelings for the guy, so when he began to show romantic interest again, well I fell for it.

Move on from there, I confronted the issue, said our friendship is over. It cant work. And of course he ignored it, texting, chatting, ect.

Anyway, I finally got some courage, faced my own repsonsibility for allowing him in and just said I was struggling, cant deal with it, and we cant talk anymore, see each other. well he ignored it to an extent as he text me being chatty, but then stopped after that and has avoided me since.

That is what I want I guess. in the long term not to be heartbroken because we dont feel the same. He wont come back this time, I have a feeling anyway. But now Im suffering the after effects, Im miserable, still going out, catching up with friends, working, hobbies. Its not working. Thoughts of him and I want to cry. He has been in my life for too long.
I appreciate all advice, but please dont tell me that Im obsessed, or he's selfish, ect or that Im being silly. I really am not. Im just looking for advice from anyone with similiar experience and how they coped, because I feel totally alone and lost. I cant talk to friends anymore about it, because theres only so much crying you can do before they get bored of it, and its understandable.

Apart from him thinking Im a total bi***ch with a changing personality, as we were only talking two days ago but again my mind was arun with thoughts of why wont he go away if he doesnt like me. and then I go and cull our friendship two days later. so he obviously thinks Ive a multi personality and emotional. Sorry if Im not making sense. But it sucks how the best thing for you in the long run hurts the most sometimes. And Im tired of crying.

Firetrap

If I was in your shoes, I'd block his number just in case he does come initiate contact again. If you have a smartphone, it's possible to do it. I think too (someone can correct me on this), your network can do it for you.

How long has it been since he stopped contacting you? Is it still early days? It is going to be hard for you for a while because he has been a part of your life for so long. You're probably grieving for him and in time you will come to terms with it.

LegacyUser

wanttobehappyagain wrote: »

Im so sad.

On and off relationship with a guy who doesnt a want a relationship, and me who does has left me feeling incredibly weak and unhappy.
He wont leave me alone, I have as of now deleted his number, deleted social networking too, but he eventually always comes back wanting to talk, meet up for a drink. Theres no physical things going on, as in he insinuated a few things a while back but quickly backtracked after I must have shown interest. which I did. I have feelings for the guy, so when he began to show romantic interest again, well I fell for it.

Move on from there, I confronted the issue, said our friendship is over. It cant work. And of course he ignored it, texting, chatting, ect.

Anyway, I finally got some courage, faced my own repsonsibility for allowing him in and just said I was struggling, cant deal with it, and we cant talk anymore, see each other. well he ignored it to an extent as he text me being chatty, but then stopped after that and has avoided me since.

That is what I want I guess. in the long term not to be heartbroken because we dont feel the same. He wont come back this time, I have a feeling anyway. But now Im suffering the after effects, Im miserable, still going out, catching up with friends, working, hobbies. Its not working. Thoughts of him and I want to cry. He has been in my life for too long.
I appreciate all advice, but please dont tell me that Im obsessed, or he's selfish, ect or that Im being silly. I really am not. Im just looking for advice from anyone with similiar experience and how they coped, because I feel totally alone and lost. I cant talk to friends anymore about it, because theres only so much crying you can do before they get bored of it, and its understandable.

Apart from him thinking Im a total bi***ch with a changing personality, as we were only talking two days ago but again my mind was arun with thoughts of why wont he go away if he doesnt like me. and then I go and cull our friendship two days later. so he obviously thinks Ive a multi personality and emotional. Sorry if Im not making sense. But it sucks how the best thing for you in the long run hurts the most sometimes. And Im tired of crying.

OP I really feel for you. I have been through a similar situation and am not out of the woods yet. I know everyone will tell you to cut contact, and they are right. Everyone told me too, but I didn't. Not at first anyway. You must think, how long do you want to feel like this for? As long as you are in touch with him you will feel this way. Miserable and empty and not paying proper attention to the mates in your life who care about you.

You will keep feeling miserable untill you decide to put an end to it. You are the only one who can, he will keep contacting you as he obviously likes you and wants you in his life, but you want more. In fact it doesn't matter at all what he thinks, the fact is you feel **** everytime he contacts you, this cannot go on!

You will never meet someone else while you are hung up on him and the only way to move on is to cut contact completely. How will you feel if he starts seeing someone and you know about it? you dont need to put yourself through that.

Each day will get easier than the one before. Each time you are in touch with him it pushes you back to day one. Try to remember that, and months from now you will feel much better. I used to have really bad days where I would cry and felt so so low but I kept telling myself the feeling would pass, and do you know what? It always passes.

Try to keep busy, there is a nice guy out there for you and the more time you waste with this guy the longer Mr Nice guy has to wait for you, and it's just rude to keep him waiting!