How to ask for space

DaleB91

Ok well basically for the last 14months solid ive been going out with a girl, like i love her and spending time with her but in 14months I've never had a weekend were i could do my own thing without her and i just really want it. I see her maybe 5 days a week and im gettin to the point were the relationship is just dull, no excitement anymore and i was thinking that maybe if i got a weekend off from her were i could go fishing or just hang out with my friends without her there then it could maybe excite me a bit more into seeing her. Anyone ever gone through this or can give a helping hand.

phoenix833

DaleB91 wrote: »

Ok well basically for the last 14months solid ive been going out with a girl, like i love her and spending time with her but in 14months I've never had a weekend were i could do my own thing without her and i just really want it. I see her maybe 5 days a week and im gettin to the point were the relationship is just dull, no excitement anymore and i was thinking that maybe if i got a weekend off from her were i could go fishing or just hang out with my friends without her there then it could maybe excite me a bit more into seeing her. Anyone ever gone through this or can give a helping hand.

Don't ask for space just tell her you're doing stuff with the lads for the weekend. Simple as. If she loves you and is any sort of rational woman this shouldn't be a problem at all. If it is a problem....well that's another issue.

But I will say this. If you're not feeling the excitement do you think that maybe it's burned out and you're hoping time away will prove you still want to be with her? I'm only asking because that's what happened to me.

18AD

Don't spend time away from her to rekindle things. If you want to rekindle things then do it within the relationship.

Spend time away because you want to spend time away on your own or with your friends.

I wouldn't mix up the two things as far as possible.

gmac102

you have the right to want to spend some time with your frnds or by yourself.

i dont see why she'd have a problem with this!

18AD

18AD wrote: »

Don't spend time away from her to rekindle things. If you want to rekindle things then do it within the relationship.

Spend time away because you want to spend time away on your own or with your friends.

I wouldn't mix up the two things as far as possible.

Yeah
It's important to have time to yourself as a person away from the relationship, there's no doubt.
But that and rekindling things are two different matters.
I would suggest that you have your weekend with your mates or something, enjoy it, then come back and go on a date with her. Don't just do the usual, do something different together.

sam34

from tgc with love

starlit

Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Ya there is no probably asking for space once its not a 'break'! kidding no seriously there is nothing wrong with asking for space in the relationship to bring a bit of spark into it if its a bit dull. Maybe try to spice it up when you see her like do something new and different rather than do the same thing all the time. Maybe ye are spending too much time together. Its ok to ask if you want a weekend for yourself with your friends and so on. Ye maybe a couple but ye don't have to do everything together. Ye are both entitled to space and do your own thing. Let her know that you want to have time for yourself either on your own or with your friends even if its just to go fishing. She will understand. Also encourage her to do the same with her friends and encourage her to do her own thing and get involved in other activities other than with you. Ye have a lot more to talk about then!

I crave space and independence, I am not someone who want to meet a partner every day. Every now and again ya. I like my own company and like to have other people has company too but some people might think I am a bit flighty but I am not. I am just in the middle. I am one of those people who like my own company but likes to mix with others too on my own terms. I don't like hang off peoples backs all the time. I get sick of them and they get of me so distance is a good thing but in a good way.

Its important and healthy for both of you and the relationship to have time for yourselves separately. Ye get bored of each other very quickly. If its dull just spark and spice it up a bit when ye meet up and then rekindle.

Asking for space but not actually saying you want space just say as other posters have said you like to spend time with the lads over the weekend or do your own thing or have a couple of things on or what ever but is that ok with her like though still encourage her to do the same that she spend time with her friends and so on. Just give her a bit of a nudge she be ok with it but do so without dropping in the word 'space' she might get the wrong idea. Best to just casually say I like to spend the weekend with my friends or whatever no questions asked, she just have to find something to do. You can tell her where you are going but don't give her all the details in case she turns up on a surprise visit.

jimmycrackcorm

LOL Op, I remember, many years ago, asking my then girlfriend at the time for a weekend "off". The abuse I got for suggesting that our relationship was equivalent to time at work was something else.

Just let her know that you have a weekend on the beer with the lads coming up. The key is to give advance notice though. Also try and get some evening activities so as not to be spending 5 days a week together.

Miss Fluff

You're living in one another's pockets. No wonder its dull. Do not for God's sake mention the word "space", it has such negative connotations. Plan a weekend away with the lads or a fishing trip and tell her in advance you won't be able to see her that weekend.

I'd also be planning rugby training or other activities during the week as five nights a week is a lot. When do you see your mates and when do you get time to do other stuff?

human repellent

Don't say space.

My gf was off with her family for 10 days, i was invited but i declined 'stating working reasons' but really we have been pretty much inseperable for 1 year, i could have got the time off but i choose not to and let her relax with her family and me do my thing for 10 days, best thing i've done, time apart really does make you appreciate the one you love.