People winding me up in work

LegacyUser

What do people do with people that wind them up? I'm a serious person at work and I get the job done. But there are two people were I work that seem to enjoy winding me up. Ones a manager who should have more cop on.

And another one is a new fella. Who on my way out today I hear him saying;

Him: I love winding him up.
Worker : Who """""" (my name)
Him: Yeah

On one occasion the manager flicked a small piece of paper at me, it was about 6:30 in the morning. And I swear to god, I gave him such a look and said to him, you would want to cop yourself on. He then asked me later in the morning more serious to me, was I alright as if he gave a ****e. To which I replied 'yeah I am fine never better'.

It's only a matter of time before I lose my cool and lose the plot and go threw somebody for a short cut.

I dunno what to do should I ignore them, which I don't think will work cause I have to work close with these two monkeys.

tenchi-fan

I think you should lighten up a little.

It sounds like typical workplace shenanigans.. prank call someone's extension, photoshop (or mspaint) someone's intranet picture, tear up a printout ..

Maybe you're just not a good "fit" in the company's culture.

daheff

sounds like bullying to me

make a point of talking to the hr department informally. let them know things are happening like those and that u arent happy about it.

take it from there

Denerick

daheff wrote: »

sounds like bullying to me

Oh for Christs sake.

Workplace bullying is a serious issue. Do not demean it by comparing it to this. The OP just needs to lighten up. Seriously.

dazed+confused

Bullying, yeah thats exactly what it sounds like. I remember somebody flicked a piece of paper at me once, I cried for a week.

+1 on the lightning up, I know its only a joke if everyone is laughing but come on! Eveyone is always in on the practical jokes where I work, which is a good thing because sometimes they get a bit out of hand, cars going missing, other halves being introduced as ex-girlfiends at Christmas dos etc, but its everyone is in on it so its okay.

The more you react the worse this going to get, just ignore it, same advice your mother gave you 20+yrs ago.

Mrs OBumble

I don't like the "bullying" word, because one persons "bullying" can be anothers "having a laugh" or simple "asking you do do the job you're paid for". It also sets people up as victims and aggressors, and many situations are more complex than that.

TBH, I don't think we know enough to understand whether the OPs problem is serious or not. Yes, the example given sounds trivial. But we don't know examples of other behaviour that s/he dislikes. We don't know what else is going on in his/her life, or how challenging the job is, or whether s/he has asperges, or lots of other possibilities.

OP, you've said that you think you're going to blow up, and (the way I read it) potentially assault someone. In light of that, I think you need to ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor. They will be able to talk to you in depth about what's going on, and help you work out whether you can fix the problem by changing your own behaviours, or if your colleagues really are way out of line and you need to report things to HR.

I've suggested going thru the GP, rather than finding someone yourself, just in case there are health issues going on that are affecting things. And because they're more likely to refer you to someone qualified.

Lanaier

Maybe it's not bullying, but if adults at work were flicking paper at my head at 6:30AM I'd be pretty pissed off tbh.

daheff

Denerick wrote: »

Oh for Christs sake.

Workplace bullying is a serious issue. Do not demean it by comparing it to this. The OP just needs to lighten up. Seriously.

heres the definition from a HR handbook


What is the definition of bullying?

Workplace bullying is the repeated inappropriate behaviour, direct or indirect, whether verbal, physical or otherwise, conducted by one or more peopel against another or others, at their place of work and/or in the course of employment, which could reasonably be regarded as undermining the individual’s right to dignity at work.


so somebody "loves winding him up" - undermining individuals diginity
flicking bits of paper at him? inappropriate behaviour (granted op has only one incident of this ...so in this particular incident it isnt...but if it were to happen again it most certainly would be

OP check your HR handbook for your company's definition

Denerick

What a load of poppycock. Its a well known fact that these workplace best practise handbooks and the sappy morons who give 'anti bullying/sexual harassment talks' are an ultra PC distortion of common sense. The OP is not being bullied, at least not according to the tale he told above. I think the OP should see a counsellor as getting that wound up over a bit of workplace banter hints at broader mental health issues tbh.

filthymcnasty

OP needs to a bit more specific -'winding you up' --are they slagging you off or what?
If people particularly managers are blatantly taking the piss he does not have to put up with it.

imo for a manager to be flicking paper at staff first thing in the morning sounds like a bit of a fcuking idiot to me- i wonder what the manager would do if one of the staff did it to him.

Op needs to chill out. If that qualifies for bullying the world has gone mad.

vibe666

people will wind up the person who it's easiest to get a rise out of.

if someone tries to wind you up and it doesn't work, then they'll soon give up and move on.

its far from being bullying though, its just messing and if don't get wound up they won't keep doing it, simple as that.

even better, if you're up for it and return in kind, you'll probably get along a lot better with them and others in general and work will be a lot more tolerable.

R.D. aka MR.D

Totally agree with vibe666

If you just smile and ignore it then they won't get any enjoyment out of winding you up.

Try going into work tomorrow with the attitude that you are not going to let anything bother you. if you are getting wound up about something then take 30 seconds to ask, why am i being annoyed? I have work to get on with. They obviously find that amusing and i'm glad they're having a good time.

At first you might still feel the anger deep down but soon by practicing not getting wound up it might become easier. Either that or talk to a gp or some one to see if they can help you with stress/anger issues.

doolox

Because of the stressful and adversarial nature of the contemporary workplace, especially nowadays, it is vitally important that managers give good example by exhibiting model behaviour at all times. OP is correct in expecting better behaviour off the manager than the puerile flicking bits of paper at any hour.

It would be good for him to have a frank talk with all concerned at first without involving HR. He should take note of every incident, times and dates, from now on and also get help from other colleagues who may also be belittled by the manager and his pet "monkey".

The tone of the OP's post shows he is unhappy at his present job, possibly feels trapped. If the nonsense continues then escalate to HR.

the_syco

About too blow wrote: »

Ones a manager who should have more cop on.

I'm thinking the new guy is being a tard to the OP to gain praise from the manager. In saying that, I think the OP should think long and hard about what he plans to do, as assault will get him sacked and known as the person who "blew up" at his boss.

I'd advise fighting fire with fire.

two wheels good

About too blow wrote: »

On one occasion the manager flicked a small piece of paper at me, it was about 6:30 in the morning. And I swear to god, I gave him such a look and said to him, you would want to cop yourself on. He then asked me later in the morning more serious to me, was I alright as if he gave a ****e. To which I replied 'yeah I am fine never better'.

I think you missed a chance to express your annoyance at the relentless wind-up - politely but frankly. In the process subtly reminding the manager that he's supposed to be aiding you, not making the day harder.

But finding a few "pranks" to play them at their own game might be a good idea too.

Amzie

Its childish behaviour... they've seen your not into having a laugh over these things and thats why they keep doing it because your reaction each time is negative(and rightly so at 6.30am in the morning)! Maybe just try not getting worked up over it for a while and see if their behaviour stops...:)

castie

Considering the manager did ask if he was alright after getting what i can only guess was an unexpected reaction from the OP.

It would seem to me that no harm is meant.
Mention to this guy that you dont feel comfortable with the current situation and what is being done.
If he was willing to check on you after getting a bad response to see if something was wrong then surely he would want to know if he is causing it!

looksee

castie wrote: »

Considering the manager did ask if he was alright after getting what i can only guess was an unexpected reaction from the OP.

It would seem to me that no harm is meant.
Mention to this guy that you dont feel comfortable with the current situation and what is being done.
If he was willing to check on you after getting a bad response to see if something was wrong then surely he would want to know if he is causing it!

Sorry, I don't agree. I know someone with the same approach and the 'sympathetic' enquiry is just an extension of the winding. However it is not something to get uptight about, try and relax a bit, but if there is winding just look bored and indifferent to it. The roll-eyes :rolleyes: is a good look to aim for

dinneenp

I'm a bit suprised at the replies so far.
yes, flicking a bit of paper once isn't really bullying but I'm guessing that this is just one example of what they're doing to him.

If he's constantly having 'small' stuff like this at him then together they all build up into somthing bigger, which then is bullying.

I'm guessing the OP is always just waiting for them to do something silly/stupid/annoying to him and this is causing him to be uncomfortable.

Easier said than done, but I'd recommend mentioning it casually to the manager (whose taking part as well). Maybe then he'll see if from your side and stop it, try to get the others to stop. If nothing happens then I'd talk to HR/main boss. It also depends on the size of the company, if there's only 20 of ye it's harder...
Good luck.