I hate the way I look!

whatcartoget

I am an 19 year old male. I am a healthy weight, I look after myself, Shower a few times a day and I wear nice clothes I make a good effort. My only problem is the way I look. I have a hideous face and I am really ugly. I have being told this by so many people now I just feel like braking down. Knowing a woman will never love me for the way I look really hurts me I am just so ugly it rips me apart. I keep on getting told that I am ugly by so many people I just feel like giving up to be honest without you. I actually feel like cutting off my face if I am being honest I would love to be rid of this ugly yoke.:(

Kimia

Who in the name of God is telling you you have an ugly face and why are you listening to them? Why are you giving them the power to control your feelings?

LegacyUser

What defines ugly?
You are perfect in yourself and learning to believe that is an important life lesson.

Stop hanging out with ignorant people who would say nasty insults to you.
Who needs that kind of negativity?

I think growing up and learning to like youself is something that takes some time.
Your very young and you have to learn to like yourself.

Small story: Went to college with a guy called A. He carried a little weight, and wore glasses, didn't have the best skin etc.... He ALWAYS had women.... as he could talk until the cows come home and chat and make people laugh!
There is nothing wrong with weight, glasses, spots etc... some attributes would put some off others not so much.

Second Small Story : Brad Pitt is meant to be one of the most handsome men in the world.
But I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole. He is full of himself. Cheated on his wife. And i see that is in "person".

SO....
DOn't listen to bad press.
If your feeling so upset that its affecting your thoughts on life, go talk to your GP.

AND remember - corny as it sounds - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

curlzy

Hey OP

First of all, there's no such thing as being objectively "ugly" it's all subjective. One of my friends loves guys with big noses, another loves geeky guys, another like lanky guys, everyone is someone's pin-up as they say. Whoever is saying these things to you is ugly, on the inside, where is matters, what kind of scumbag says such things to people:mad:? I'm almost 30 and most of my friends would be in the same age bracket and we recently had a discussion about how we've come to have much more positive view of ourselves, I do think we get less hard on ourselves as we get older. One girl, who is absolutely stunning, said at one point in her life she couldn't look in the mirror without crying, another actually ended up with an eating disorder. Honestly OP, these girls are gorgeous (inside and out) and it's awful to think that they ever felt that way. I honestly think that it's to do with being young, I'm assuming you are. When you're younger you look for the negatives and find it hard to be objective, instead of comparing yourself to everyone else, you compare yourself to Brad Pitt etc and it's just not possible to come out well in that comparison. So yeah please don't bash yourself like this, I sure you're a lovely person. And yes of course you'll fall in love with someone. Chin up, I'm sure you're alot better looking than you think.

Katgurl

Sorry OP but have you taken a look at some of the men who have bedded the most beautiful women alive - Sean Penn, Woody Allen etc? Having a standard set of features has very little to do with a man being sexy.

And who the f££& are these people telling you that you are ugly? That's so nuts I can't even respond to it.

Ignore them. Women love confidence. It always takes me a bit of time to fall for a man and once I do I will firmly believe with every fibre in my body that he is the bestlooking guy I've ever seen - the big nose, acne, third eye in the forehead will only make me more convinced.

Seriously op, there is absolutely no value to anyone for you to convince yourself you're ugly. You're not and whoever is into you will think you are divinely handsome.

Kevin Duffy

whatcartoget wrote: »

I am an 19 year old male. I am a healthy weight, I look after myself, Shower a few times a day and I wear nice clothes I make a good effort. My only problem is the way I look. I have a hideous face and I am really ugly. I have being told this by so many people now I just feel like braking down. Knowing a woman will never love me for the way I look really hurts me I am just so ugly it rips me apart. I keep on getting told that I am ugly by so many people I just feel like giving up to be honest without you. I actually feel like cutting off my face if I am being honest I would love to be rid of this ugly yoke.:(

That's probably not as bad a thing as you think right now. I've been with some stunning women, but it becomes a very small part of the story fairly quickly. You get tired of looking and how you treat each other and feel about each other matters far more for far longer.
Don't focus on how you look, how you behave towards the women you meet means far more.

And those people who tell you you're ugly - that says far more about them than it does about you. I also doubt you "keep getting told by so many people", I'd say you've blown some stupid, isolated coments out of proportion. For both reasons, let that shít go, don't be letting them live rent free in your head.

sarahlulu

Dear God...who are you spending time with that is telling you such awful things? They are your biggest problem and not what you see when you look in the mirror.

I have a 9 year old daughter who already knows that if you are beautiful on the inside, then you will look beautiful on the outside. Likewise, ugly works its way from the inside out.

You don't want someone who will fall for you purely because of what you look like. When you meet the right girl, she will get to know you, and fall in love with your personality.

Please try to spend less time with people who say you are ugly. xxx

kjl

You know what I feel for the OP an awful lot. Perhaps it is not the company he keep that tell him that he is ugly, but rather drunk girls who can be very hurtful in social circumstances.

OP, don't rule anything out, look aren't everything a girl sees when she looks at a guy, but more personality and confidence. Sense of humour is key.

Your post is entitled "I hate the way I look" well I have news for you, even the best looking people in the world hate some part of their looks. As you said you make an effort and that's all you need to do. Now make an effort to go out and have a laugh and I assure you, you will meet someone who loves you for just that.

LegacyUser

Sorry to hear you are frustrated about your looks mate. i had similar problem to you before, about a year ago I pulled an unreal looking girl that I thought was WAY out of my league and we were together for about 6 months . She told me I was sh!t hot so you'd be surprised, I was surprised (and still am) as I had similar view to you. Stay confident around girls and keep head up mate no need to get depressed, you seem like a good person. **** people who said those nasty things about you!

Lanaier

Looks don't really matter to girls, even if they think they do they don't.

Your lack of self-confidence is whats probably stopping your luck with the ladies.

Man-up buddy, you'll be fine.

Eve_Dublin

I don't mean to patronise you OP but listen, you're at an age where people can act like twats and can be hurtful just because of their own insecurities (passing the attention away from themselves). If I based my self-worth on what I was called at school back in the day (I'm 31), then I'd never leave my house. I believed what some people called me back then but in hindsight, none of it was true and I wasted my years believing their crap and couldn't see it for what it really was....a way to hide their own lack of self-worth. All I can advice you to do is ride this little bit of your life out. People eventually grow up, cop on and stop making those kinds of comments and you'll look back and you'll actually laugh at ever thinking you were "ugly" (who the hell is ugly, in fairness? I don't know anyone ugly! What makes someone unattractive is someone who doesn't look after themselves but you do all these things). With age generally comes acceptance. I'm happier with my physical appearance now than I ever was and I probably looked better 10 years ago.

No woman will fall in love with you just based on your appearance. To love someone is see beyond their physical appearance. It's a cliche but the more you love someone, the more physically attractive they become. Their imperfections start becoming the parts you love the most. Just continue to be a sound guy (women love "sound" men) and don't doubt yourself. Be the kind of man who likes women and learn to get on with them as equals and I promise you, as a woman who's dated very unconventional looking men, we'll fall in love with you big time

Catari Jaguar

Hey OP, your post makes me so sad... I understand how you feel, I've been there..

Lately I've been noticing how faces reflect a person's personality. Then I think if they changed, they wouldn't be "them". I like the "imperfections" or interesting features like freckles, scars, the curve of their cheeks, the shape of their teeth, the colour of their eyes and how they light up when they speak. I like how their face and expressions show how they're dorky, mischievous, mysterious, innocent, happy, ballsy...

I see diffferent nationalities daily in the city and am pulled in by the skin tones and features, all so different, and amazing. Sorry, I'm rambling now.
But at least all that's real, not like some contrived, predictable, air brushed picture of a celebrity trying to convince us of what's attractive.

It's there in you, what makes you you. You might never ever see it. The people that love you will, and they will adore your "faults".

As for the other cnuts... who cares what they say? Please don't put yourself down, think of what you would tell your best friend if they told you what you posted. Follow that advice. Be kind to yourself.

qwertytlk

Please dont believe these nasty mean people. When i was younger i used to hang around with this group of people. 4-5 guys in this group used to always tell me i was ugly, sing mean made up songs about me etc. It used to kill me. I used to feel like you have described u feel. Anyway as i got older i ended up moving on to new (nicer) friends, but i always carried those guys insults with me. Then on a night our a few years ago i bumped into two of the guys that used to put me down and long story short one of them told me they used to act like that with me because they fancied me but were to immature to admit it. So my point is, people say lots of mean and hurtful things but they are not always doing it necause its the truth. Dont let other people get you down.

whatcartoget

Thanks for the advice guys.
Loads of people tell me I am a funny guy who is very outgoing etc so its not like I am shy. The problem is I am ugly simple as. I have never once being told I was attractive by anyone. I have being told I was ugly by family members and teachers even. I hate my face so much I wish I could cut it off to be honest. I am just so ugly.:(:(:(:(

Lash_Alert

whatcartoget wrote: »

I am an 19 year old male. I am a healthy weight, I look after myself, Shower a few times a day and I wear nice clothes I make a good effort. My only problem is the way I look. I have a hideous face and I am really ugly. I have being told this by so many people now I just feel like braking down. Knowing a woman will never love me for the way I look really hurts me I am just so ugly it rips me apart. I keep on getting told that I am ugly by so many people I just feel like giving up to be honest without you. I actually feel like cutting off my face if I am being honest I would love to be rid of this ugly yoke.:(

Honestly, just sounds like your suffering from depression, and a few boardsies wont help that. Maybe go talk to someone real about it if you can?

Now, less serious, why you showering a 'few times a day'?

Zen65

whatcartoget wrote: »

I have never once being told I was attractive by anyone. I have being told I was ugly by family members and teachers even.

I'm fairly sure I was never told I looked attractive either. In part, that's because in Ireland people don't like to tell men that they look attractive, and in part it's because I'm not by any means good-looking.

However this has not negatively impacted on my life to any great extent. It's true to say there was never a point in my life when women threw themselves at me, but that's not unusual for many men. It did not stop me from finding a beautiful wife and having many, many happy years together. When my kids make fun of my balding head I remind in good humour them that hair loss is hereditary, and that ends that!

As for teachers telling you that you're ugly, well since the cane was removed from Irish schools the only weapons that teachers still have are their words. When driven to frustration many teachers say things that are aimed to hurt the student. It's a human response, albeit a particularly cruel one. It does not necessarily reflect the reality.

The issue for you is to learn how to deal with these comments, and more importantly to learn to love yourself as you are. Another poster here suggested that a trip to the GP might be in order, because you may benefit from counselling to help you better manage your self-esteem issues.

Be at peace,


Z

LegacyUser

Your a man, looks aren't everything to women. Confidence, success and intelligence can give you access to any woman. Thats the truth

Ainekav

I go through stages of feeling ugly - it passes, especially as you grow older and more comfortable in your own skin.

concentrate on surrounding yourself with genuine, non-shallow people and cut out whoever is telling you you are ugly.

women value personalities over, or at least as much as looks. I know I do.

give yourself a break and concentrate on enjoying your twenties. Loads of men I know aren't great looking and maybe don't get lots of girls but they enjoy themselves by surrounding themselves with good friends and doing things that make them happy. You can't change what you look like so learn to love yourself!

Also counselling is great to talk these things through - if you are in college they will probably have one.

Scanlas The 2nd

Hit the gym and lift heavy weights and have cold showers in the morning. Also eat lots of red meat and eggs. This will boost your testosterone levels and make you more confident.

Fluorescence

whatcartoget wrote: »

Thanks for the advice guys.
Loads of people tell me I am a funny guy who is very outgoing etc so its not like I am shy. The problem is I am ugly simple as. I have never once being told I was attractive by anyone. I have being told I was ugly by family members and teachers even. I hate my face so much I wish I could cut it off to be honest. I am just so ugly.:(:(:(:(

No one ever calls an ugly person ugly to their face . Often it's a bit of banter - like telling the skinny yoke to lose weight or the smartly dressed person to wear some clean clothes. It's utterly stupid, but some people think it's the height of wit :rolleyes:. So, chances are, you're not that bad at all.

Anyway, science tells me I'm ugly. My eyes are two different sizes and are at different levels. My mouth is uneven. My nose is bumpy. By boobs don't match. My legs are different lengths. I've still had boyfriends and random men in my life who loved/fancied me, so clearly it doesn't matter all that much. Of course it matters to some extent, but honestly there's a lot of things that matter more.