4 Mth old. Won't go down on own

Rylan

Hi guys

Looking for a bit of advice. My wife and I have a 4 month old boy. Up until recently he has been going to bed a 7 every night and settleing almost straight away. He would get another feed at 10 or 11 and would sleep through the night until about 6 or 7. He started teething about 2 weeks ago but there was still no problem putting him down.

For the past three night when we try to put him down he has gotten very clingy. We usually put him down just before he is asleep and he nods off but for 3 nights when we put him down he starts crying straight away. We pick him up and he settle straight away but when we put him down again same thing. It can take up to an hour to settle him.

Any advice on what is going on and what we should do.

many thanks in advance.

qwertytlk

Hi, i also have a 4month old boy. Obviously every baby is different so different thing will work for me than you but this is what we have been doing lately and its working quite well.

When he cries when we put him down, we dont pick him up immeadiatly. Sometimes i will rub his face and talk to him in a soothing voice and he will just settle himself again after a few mins. Obviously if he is still crying after a min or two, i mean really crying, then i will pick him up and cuddle him back to sleep.
Our little man is still sleeping in his moses basket beside the bed so the odd night when he starts to stir or whinge a bit, i will lean over and hold his hand and this will help him to settle again. Hope this helps.

Ayla

If he's teething it'll throw your entire schedule & past successes to the breeze...welcome to parenthood! :rolleyes:

There are many who advocate letting them "cry it out" but I personally am 100% against that. At 4 months your child does not yet have the rationalising ability to learn from crying it out, and there are studies out there showing the chemical reaction the brain has to (what is in your child's mind) a traumatic event.

Before trying anything, think on your past week...has your child had a new schedule? New food? New room/cot? If he's breastfed is your wife eating anything different? All of this can cause reflux which would make it very uncomfortable to lay flat. We found with our girls that elevating the head side of the cot slightly helped prevent this.

Also, at 4 months babes tend to go through a mental and physical growth spurt. If your child's wanting a cuddle, give it to him. This will NOT make him dependent on you and will not eliminate any hope of him self soothing in the future. Yes, you will likely have some nights sitting up with him on the couch/chair, but it will pass and things will get easier.

Moonbeam

When my 8 month old is sad at bed time I just let her snuggle down with me,they are only small and the world is a scary place.
Most of the time she goes down no problem but if she is really upset I wouldn't leave her or waste time trying to settle her,if it is still early she can come back downstairs with me.

How Strange

There's a 4 month sleep regression phase where they're learning so many new skills that they can't or don't sleep well. You'll find your sleep routine has gone out the window. My son used to wake every hour most nights. It's a rough phase but it's just a phase which will pass. Your little one could be teething as well so it can be a combination of both. For teething I got an Amber necklace when my son was 6 months and I'm just sorry I didn't get it earlier as it's fantastic. He's teething but not in any pain.

I'd say stick with your routine ie going to bed at 7 etc but after that you just have to wait and see what every night brings. I'd personally recommend cosleeping at this stage so you all get a bit of sleep.

Hannibal Smith

Go with your gut instinct. You'll hear some people say 'oh don't pick him/her up or you'll get yourself in to a bad routine and he won't settle for the next 18 years'. Whereas in truth babies aren't that conniving and sometimes, especially if they're teething, they just need a little extra cuddle.

Have you tried a mobile (as in the musical type with animals and shapes that go round, not the phone ) Our fella used to love watching the animals go round, and it would knock him right out.

elliotmae

Hi,
We had a lot of sleep/napping problems from 2-4 months with our baby (she's 15 months now) and by 4 months she was sleeping very badly. I bought Save Our Sleep (Tizzie Hall) and within days she was sleeping (and napping) so much better, and most importantly had learned to settle herself without traumatic crying.
Her whole premis is to let them fuss for up to 10 minutes (depending on their age), but if it's ever actual emotional crying then to go into them - she's really against the "cry it out" method. But she does acknowledge that babies might fuss and shout. Anyway, we couldn't say enough about the book, it totally changed our lives, and from 4 months on we haven't looked back. We recommended it to friends and every one who got the book and did her method (5 or 6 couples we know used it) had huge success.

Worth a shot!
Good luck.