Last one standing

LegacyUser

Hi All,

Apologies in advance, this is going to be a long rant....i just really need to get this off my chest before i go crazy...

So I am friends with a large group of friends, theres about 11-12 of us that would hang around regularly and i love them all to pieces. gradually as we all have been hitting our mid 20s, each one has dropped one by one into relationships - some of these are long term others were shorter, but those who broke up found another soon after.

I havent had a boyfriend since I was 19. I havent been dated either. this was all grand cos my ex was a prick who cheated, I was very cut up about this at the time too, we were going out 2+ years, so I was happy to live the single life for awhile, especially since all my friends were doing much the same. Fast forward to last weekend, my mate, who has always had the same run of luck and not had a bf much in the past has just started a relationship. now out of my circle of friends, it is only me left. dont get me wrong, im absolutely delighted for each one of them but being the last one single has got me really down and depressed. The last few weekends I have spent sitting in on my own, while they get on with their own lives and do their couply things.


I honestly do not know where I am going wrong. Im not into ONS either and to be honest the whole clubbing scene is getting old for me and typically lads in there are after one thing (altho not all!). I have tried internet dating, and all I got on that was perves (POF, OKC). I feel like I will be alone forever...may be I give off some awful vibe to guys although I do have plenty of guy friends that always say ' I dont know how your still single'...I am sick of people asking me and getting the looks as if to say I am weird.

This didnt bother me up until the last 6-8 months or so, it genuinely has me feeling very down. I feel so inadequate and ugly compared to my friends. I just want to scream. I know i need to snap out of this sorry state, I have been trying but I havent been able, work is beginning to get me down, uuugggh I think I just need to immigrate!

Any other singles out there in this predicament? may be I should get back online and start selling my soul to some nice suitors, surely there are some out there

LegacyUser

I understand, Im a guy in the same position. Big group of friends, all used to hang out, play football, the usual. One by one the got into long term relationships, got married, had kids. I still didnt give it a second thought for myelf, always of the opinion that it'll happen when it happend. Fast forward to 3 months ago, good friend got married, I went to the wedding on my own thinking it was no big deal, but I have never felt so awkward in my life. I'd say 99% of the people there were in a couple. Up until that point I hadnt noticed that I was literally the last man standing, it was a cold slap in the face. Since that wedding I've been aware of my situation more and more, I try not let it get to me though, whats the point in getting upset or feeling down, that just makes matters worse. Although I do find myself a little alarmed at the severly depleted pool of suitable women to choose from. I may be wrong about this, but from my own personal experience it seems like all the good ones have already been snapped up. I havent offically signed up for internet dating although I did do a bit of recon and had a look at some profiles which was very disheartening.
But Im sure single women would say the same thing about the pool of available men.

I dont think the answer lies over the internet OP, it seems like all you've encountered is lads looking for a bit on the side. The real world is where its at but I know that hasnt been too rewarding either. Try not to let it get you down or worry you, dont let your imagination run wild with scenarios of you ending up alone with a herd of cats for company. That'll make you desperate and when you're desperate you'll lower your standards and thats unacceptable. I do believe though that if you're open and you do put in an effort you will find someone. Dont ask me to explain that I just get a feeling its true.

I am a friend

It's ludicrous to say all the good ones have been snapped up.

starviewadams

Pretty much the same position as you OP,I'm 24,all my friends are 'coupled up' and as much as I'm happy for them,it makes me feel pretty depressed sitting in alone on a Friday and Saturday night.It's really awkward too whenever I bump into one of the couples on the street or in a shop or wherever,especially when they ask what I'm up to or what my plans are for the evening etc.

I've tried the whole online dating thing too and I've not had much success,it's kind of hard to get a sense of somebody just from a picture and a few words,for me anyways.The whole nightclub/pub scene is where 90% of my friends met their girlfriends, but I've never been any use at that either.

I think I'm slowly accepting the idea that I'm just not meant to be with anyone.

ash23

Same as that OP. I'm 29 and I was in a long term relationship from 19 to 26. At that time all my friends were single, out having fun etc. I was buying a house, having a baby and settled.
So I've been single now 3 years and I've loved it but have found in the last year everyone of my single friends are settling down and having babies. It's very weird because although I have a child, she's nearly 9 and I pretty much have my freedom back. No sleepless nights, easy to get sitters etc. But nobody to go out with. Woe is me.

I'm not too bothered and I really don't think all the good ones are taken. I know loads of single men. However many are like me and have been burned and are more wary and cautious. I'm very very wary of getting involved with someone again and I think that's part of my problem.
If I meet the right person then great but for now, I'm not overly worried. The lack of people to socialise with bothers me more than my single status