Neighbour kids

LegacyUser

Would like some advice here, we bought our house about four years ago and all was great, lovely small area, get on well with the neighbours, everyone was delighted we bought the house as we were a quiet young couple about to start our family.

Now here's my problem, when we first moved in we got to know the previous owners, nice people in my opinion and they have family, a sister and her husband about five doors away from us. For the first year or so we passed mail up to them (the sisters house) that came in our door and we gave the sister a present for xmas of wine and choccies for some work her husband done on our electrics (we also paid, of course)

We were always nice and polite to them and have no cause for them to be angry with us - but in the past year things have gone downhill and it's their kids (both the sister and the previous owners) that have caused the problems - they constantly play knock a dolly on our door (which we never cared about) they would play in our garden (also, we didn't mind this, as they are kids and this used to be their house and they were doing no harm) but what really is starting to get us is, they smeared dog poo on our stoop and wall, dug up our garden, broke parts off my car and wrote with biro on my husbands van. It's getting increasingly more destructive.

How do I stop this without it turning into a neighbour war? I don't want to fight with the parents as they seem nice and I'm wondering is it just the kids thinking they had to move house because of us or something innocent like that? They are all very young - probably oldest is seven at a guess.

I really hate confrontation and my husband is useless at talking things out and is likely to just have a rant, he's absolutely livid about this situation and has given the kids a right yelling at over the poo situation (we caught them red handed at this btw)- which I don't think is the way to go about it, we have to live with these people after all.

My thinking would be to approach the parents and talk it out but then again I'm wondering would it turn into a prove it's my child situation or something along those lines- I'm trying to see it from all angles here- will it just fizzle out itself and this is just a phase or will it get worse?? I really hate being in this situation!!

curlzy

Hey OP,

I would calmly approach the parents. I've found any decent parent will listen and sort it out. It seems only scumbags that shout "my johnny is a saint" when you've just caught them 'poo handed':D. So yeah if they seem like a decent sort I would call up to the house and have a word. Like just say "I know they're only kids but they're causing damage to our property". I'd say the parents will be mortified and sort it out.

Best of luck.

I am a friend

How do you know its them doing all the messing?

I would get advice from the gaurds. After all they are damaging your property. I was going to suggest you get photos of them doing it but then there would be a whole hoo-ha about you taking photos of kids. Ask the advice of the police.

shoes34

dontknowwhatshoulddo wrote: »

I really hate confrontation and my husband is useless at talking things out and is likely to just have a rant, he's absolutely livid about this situation and has given the kids a right yelling at over the poo situation (we caught them red handed at this btw)- which I don't think is the way to go about it, we have to live with these people after all.

My thinking would be to approach the parents and talk it out but then again I'm wondering would it turn into a prove it's my child situation or something along those lines-

As you said you have caught them with the poo situation, did they seen like they knew what they were doing was out of order?

I would go talk to the parents as this is your home and it might get worse.

Miss Fluff

I wouldn't say anything to the parents for two reasons.

When people are taken to task about their kids, regardless of how heinous the crime (and their kids could be setting all neighbourhood pets alight) then it will immediately put them on the defensive..."how could my little darling etc etc"

Secondly, if those escelate in any way to a nieghbourly dispute it never ends well. NEVER. One of the parties invariably ends up moving.

As such, if you have a garden gate then I'd lock it to stop the kids getting in in the first place. You can tell the neighbour you've put down weed killer which would harm the kids so you're anxious that they don't harm themselves or some other excuse.

I get that the above is a less than straightforward way to go about things but the moment you mention anything to these people about their children's behaviour then the dynamic between you as neighbours will shift permanently and you do have to live there after all.

Ickle Magoo

As a parent, I'd want to know if my kids were off harassing neighbours and damaging our relationship with them - while I know some parents are very precious, I know many more who are not. I think they have a right to know that their kids are damaging your relationship with them and as long as you don't go in telling them how to deal with it or with any assumptions that they know about it already and are doing nothing, I think it's the quickest way to get resolution.

Perhaps approach it by suggesting that you'd rather their kids didn't come into your garden any more after you caught them doing the poo thing and you hope they understand why you are puting a gate/fence up - and leave it at that?

You've done nothing wrong and if they are any kind of decent parents/neighbours, they'll have far more to say to their kids than to you.

All the best.

Big Bag of Chips

If it was my kids I'd want to know. I'd be mortified. And I'd make sure the kids apologised and never did it again.

I don't agree that telling the parents will cause trouble between you all. The oldest is quite young so maybe it's not a case of them "targeting" you specifically, but rather just being messy destructive kids (as some kids are!) And just happen to be in your garden... they may also be doing similar elsewhere.

Talk to the parents. It will be awkward, but has to be done.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for your advice guys! I think I'm going to go with miss fluffs advice for the moment- I'm going to tell the parents we have chemicals down and to tell the kids not to come into the garden, lest they be poisoned.

If that doesn't work I will have to have a proper talk with them but for now this seems like the best direction to go.