A casual thing - etiquette?

LegacyUser

Hi guys!

This is probably a very silly question, but me being new to the casual/F. Buddy/Friends with benefits thing... I want to know if it's the norm for the guy involved to be seeing other people when involved in a casual thing with a girl?

I'm cool with seeing a guy on a casual basis for fun times, but would be a bit worried if he's out shagging any other girls he can find when I'm not around. Mainly from a sexual health point of view.

Is it the usual thing for him to be seeing others when we got a casual thing going on?

Thanks

Miss Fluff

It's certainly possible. If you're in a FB arrangement with someone then there is no commitment or agreement for exclusivity there so yes, there's nothing to stop him going out and scoring as many women as he wants as often as he wants. I certainly wouldn't be having sex without a condom.

Tricia1

If you are in this type of relationship, you aren't commiting exclusively to anybody so why should he?

I hate the term 'F buddy relationship' but if you're involved in this arrangement in the first place then common sense should tell you what to expect in the first place.

coolcat63

If it helps, try to look at a casual FB relationship on the same basis as a hobby/pastime. You won't expect your fellow trainspotter/tennis partner to be exclusive, would you?

Tricia1

OP, it seems to me that you are in a way looking for respect from him.

If you're in this type of a 'relationship' you most certainly aren't going to get it from the guy in question.

If you were dating/ going out with the guy that's different.

Firetrap

coolcat63 wrote: »

If it helps, try to look at a casual FB relationship on the same basis as a hobby/pastime. You won't expect your fellow trainspotter/tennis partner to be exclusive, would you?

Ha ha. Love this analogy

That's about the size of it really. You're not in something anywhere close to being a conventional relationship so yeah, it gives both of you licence to have sex with whoever you like. Just be careful you don't start feeling more attached to this guy.

LegacyUser

Going to completely disagree with the opinions here.

My 2 cents?

It depends on the people involved tbh.
If you're sleeping with the guy then it should be no problem to ask him if he's sleeping with other women. Just because it's casual doesn't necessarily mean he's gonna be off shagging everything that moves. Personally i've done the f buddy thing in the past but we came to an agreement where we were only shagging each other (for health reasons) and that we'd tell each other if we wanted to shag someone else, and if either of us did did then we'd stop sleeping with each other

OP, it seems to me that you are in a way looking for respect from him.

If you're in this type of a 'relationship' you most certainly aren't going to get it from the guy in question.

load of nonsense imho. What a backwards view. Just because you're having sex without being in a 'committed' relationship, doesn't mean you're being disrespected.
It's just sex at the end of the day, some people can't separate emotions and sex, but some can. A f buddy situation isn't always cold and heartless sex, (Isn't that the point of a f buddy over a series of one night stands anyway?) it's actually usually sex with someone you can have fun and a laugh with, far from being disrespected, at least in my experience anyway

There's absolutely no harm in asking the man in question OP!
Just be safe and have fun

Wompa1

mehese wrote: »

Going to completely disagree with the opinions here.

My 2 cents?

It depends on the people involved tbh.
If you're sleeping with the guy then it should be no problem to ask him if he's sleeping with other women. Just because it's casual doesn't necessarily mean he's gonna be off shagging everything that moves. Personally i've done the f buddy thing in the past but we came to an agreement where we were only shagging each other (for health reasons) and that we'd tell each other if we wanted to shag someone else, and if either of us did did then we'd stop sleeping with each other

I think if I was in that type or relationship or lack of one rather and the girl brought it up it would throw red flags for me and I'd start to get away. I know in your case you were concerned health wise but I'd take that as a girl trying to control me, wouldn't see the point of doing the F Buddy thing if I didn't have complete freedom.

Mind you I don't think I'd do it anyway, more down to stories I've heard from friends and one of the people growing fond of the other. Best case scenario would be that it does blossom into a relationship but you'd live knowing that's how your relationship started, no romance.

Or worst case, somebody gets really hurt. But live and let live!

ash23

Imo if it's casual then it's open season and each can do what (and who) they want.

Having said that a guy I was dating wanted us to be exclusive but without committment. So it's not unusual. However when he asked for exclusivity I took it to mean we were in a relationship whereas it emerged, he didn't see it like that. Cue great big "breakup".