A bit vapid

LegacyUser

This will not make me popular. I woke up the other morning in bed with one of my oldest and dearest friends after a wonderful night. This wouldn't normally have been a problem, but for the fact that I'd just cheated on my girlfriend of nearly a year. The thing is, I don't feel bad about it. I don't even feel one bit guilty. I slept with my girlfriend the next day and nothing felt wrong at all.

I've been burned by relationships over the years. In one I was physically abused. In another, she cheated on me and began taking lots of drugs. In the third (the only one I think I truly loved), she had an eating disorder that she said she wanted to get over, but truthfully never did, even going as far as to tell me that she loved it more than me because of her obsession with being skinny. That one felt like an assassination. My faith in love had crumbled somewhat after those. I'm not trying to justify my actions by explaining these, I know what I did was wrong, but it doesn't feel wrong and I think they go some way towards colouring in my mindset..

My current relationship feels purely functional. She says she loves me several times a day to the extent that I'm not sure either of us knows just what it means. It feels hollow. We're little in common, we've different ambitions and I'm not even sure why we're together. I'm not happy, but it's not she that makes me unhappy. I mean she has her problems (she's selfish and worries about absolutely everything to an infuriating degree) but she treats me well (better than the previous three, for sure) and is a nice person and my friends all like her. But I just don't feel the love and I don't want to be one of those people that gets married for tax reasons.

I don't even think I'm asking a question here. I'd just be interested to hear people's opinions.

break up with her and consider talking to someone

beks101

Depleted Morality wrote: »

My current relationship feels purely functional. She says she loves me several times a day to the extent that I'm not sure either of us knows just what it means. It feels hollow. We're little in common, we've different ambitions and I'm not even sure why we're together.

Why for the love of jesus are you with her so? Really, why? I'm genuinely curious. I can't for the life of me wrap my head around how people like you - and you are far from alone - can share their lives with someone they're completely 'meh' about, and what's more, let the relationship amble along lifelessly and aimlessly for years without doing what is so obviously the right thing to do and call it a day. I don't know if it's emotional immaturity, insecurity, laziness or a combination of all three.

You don't even have a conscience about cheating on this woman, which tells you all you need to know really. Grow up and let her go, for the love of God.

Firetrap

So let's see. You're with her because she's nice to you, your friends like her and er..that's it really? If you have even a smidgen of a conscience, you should break up with her. You're not being fair on her and you're not being fair on yourself by continuing this charade of a relationship. You've said you don't love her and don't want to marry her for tax purposes. So that would suggest that you aren't planning on spending the rest of your lives together and at some stage ye are going to break up. You might as well look at this situation like ripping off a plaster. The sooner you get the painful bit over and done with, the sooner you start to recover.

I am a friend

Op you appear not to have any emotions - you don't care about the girl, you dont feel guilty and you don't see anything wrong wth using someone for companionship for a year..

What has left you as this shell??? Tbh you should not be in a relationship until you learn to feel...