My new relationship

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

So, I am falling in love at the moment with my boyfriend and it feels great. I'm on top of the world.

Two things I am wondering about though:

- I'm just wondering, should I tell him I have not been sexual with anyone else.
We've known eachother for 7 weeks. Official 3 weeks. I really like him and we've great chemistry and it's getting...frisky. I want him to be my first.
So, should I bring up the sex talk now? Or wait ?

-Can we avoid bringing up or knowing about eachothers' exes etc? Or is it just something that needs to be discussed? I do get a little jealous and I'd rather let potential insecurities out of our relationship.

We're in the honeymoon stage at the moment but it feels like these topics/issues are waiting to raise their head and I just want to know how to tackle them as I've never felt like this about any guy and this feels like my first proper relationship so I dont want to screw it up.

Anyone have any tips on dealing with these issues? Thanks :-)

thefireinside

Aww congrats on the new relationship

Personally I think you should tell him this will be your first time when ye get around to it I wouldnt tell him in advance, he might stress over it and I don't think it's something that needs to be over analysed by either of u!

Bring it up when ye are in bed and it seems to be building up to the first full intimacy... If he's a decent guy he will handle it sensitively when u say it and you or he might suggest taking it nice and slow I'm sure he'll be lovely and appreciate u telling him.. He'll think it's sweet

Good luck! And enjoy

starlit

Hey congrats, sounds like its going great for you OP. I think its best to tell him straight out and be honest though other's might say not to and just go with the flow but I think you need to tell him. He'd have a fair idea if you are unsure what to do. Just say you are nervous and that you haven't had much experience in that department. Go with your gut instinct what you want to tell him but all means be honest with him to give him an idea that you haven't had a sexual relationship before. He'll understand he be a lot more aware.

Good luck OP

LegacyUser

Thanks Guys.

But, I have rarely gone beyond making out. So how do I handle the issue of other "stuff" ?

Also, anyone have any insight to the exes etc? Is it necessary to know? Of course I am nosey but at the same time I dont want to know!

I am a friend

Ah congrats!!!

I don't think you need to have any big chat about stuff. What each couple likes varies so we could tell you to do this to him or that to him and it may not be his cup of tea so just go with the flow and enjoy.

As for the ex's, over the years I have come to realise that this kind of info is best left out of a relationship until you are secure enough to handle it... he is with you so forget about them as they have no real bearing in your relationship. Enjoy

starlit

curiousgirlfriend wrote: »

Thanks Guys.

But, I have rarely gone beyond making out. So how do I handle the issue of other "stuff" ?

Also, anyone have any insight to the exes etc? Is it necessary to know? Of course I am nosey but at the same time I dont want to know!

Hey, that's ok. Everyone is different and does these things at different stages, there is no wrong or right way to go about it or wrong or right time. If it feels right it happens naturally.

Well making out is a good start, just that in itself may or may lead to other things it happens but don't worry about it the other stuff comes naturally too in time. If it feels right then go for it.

The thing about the 'other stuff' do what you are comfortable with and build it up gradually it come more naturally then that way than if forcing it.
For you maybe let him lead but if you like to take over then be all means do go with the flow and go with what's comfortable for you. Its not just a case of pleasing one of ye, ye both need to kind of do it together at your pace perhaps. Try not to let him pressure you into anything that you aren't comfortable about. Let him be your guide by all means but go with what you think you be ok with.

Regarding ex's, best not to mention on a first date or on any date I say until ye are both comfortable to handle it and secure in your relationship. It's not a case of trying to compare each other to your other partner's ex's. It be the wrong way to look at it but from the point of view from learning from past experiences and finding out what works for ye as a couple I suppose. If its something to bring up then yes but I think going into detail about past relationships is up to ye how much detail ye want to give each other.

I think knowing less is more really. Mention who your ex's are perhaps but just give a gist of the relationship and so on but not much else. In my honest opinion ex's are in the past and rather not bring that up unless it came into conversation.

Someone who may have been in your past there is a reason why they aren't in your future!

All the best op.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys.
I think exes are best left in the past and theres no need to know. Well, maybe we could discuss or get a summary of his sexual past.
And I hope to talk to him about sex once we are more solid and I trust him more. It's just, the last guy I went out with was horrible and put the fear of life in me about guys afterwards. That experience though, was a blessing and it led me to my now boyfriend.
But I would be lying if I said I wasnt afraid to open up and leave myself vunerable.


Another thing I just wanted to ask.. How do people keep the interest in relationships? How do they make them last? Any tips what I can do as a girlfriend?
It's just, we go to the same university and we've seen eachother for the last 2/3weeks alot in college. And I feel he might lose interest? I dont know why I feel like this since he has always been happy to see me. Thoughts?
Thanks guys. Ye are the best!

Ham Sambo

From a guys point of view it's a honour to be a girls first , go with the flow and see what happens.

lace

curiousgirlfriend wrote: »

Another thing I just wanted to ask.. How do people keep the interest in relationships? How do they make them last? Any tips what I can do as a girlfriend?
It's just, we go to the same university and we've seen eachother for the last 2/3weeks alot in college. And I feel he might lose interest? I dont know why I feel like this since he has always been happy to see me. Thoughts?
Thanks guys. Ye are the best!

Things naturally calm down after a while in a relationship. It's not that either person loses interest, it's just something that naturally happens. In the early stages it's an "i need to see you right now and spend as much time with you as possible", loved-up kind of feeling. Once that settles down, most couples would see each other a bit less. If this happens, it doesn't mean he's losing interest just that he's settling into the relationship.

I think you may be worrying a little early. If he's always happy to see you then he's definitely into you. Try to relax and enjoy it. There will be times when he can't see you or has to cancel plans. As long as it's not every time and he's not avoiding you then you have nothing to worry about.