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Eldest Son - Sudden Parents Split - could do with some advice

  • 29-09-2011 9:35am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Please excuse the anon post, but this is a pretty sensative matter.

    I'm the eldest of three siblings, aged between 18 and 28. Our parents have very suddenly split up about 10 days ago. It was on bad terms, and my mother is not able to deal with him.

    This post is not to help or ask about the personal or emotional difficulty, though there is plenty of that. I'm looking for advice on the financial/legal situation, which now falls to me to negotiate. I'm well able for it, but just want to make sure I get the best advice out there.

    Questions like; should I directly make an agreement around financial support, or should I engage a solicitor first? Do I need to talk to the bank about the mortgage, joint accounts and that kind of thing?

    I have a slim hope that there's some kind of service I can speak to who might give me a steer. Failing that, any help from someone on the board would be great.


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    I am approving your post with one caveat. Noone here can give you legal advice. I am only leaving the thread open so that people can advise you on the initial steps to take.


  • #3
    neuro-praxis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    I know this is not what you want to hear but I would advise you to step away from this situation. It is unwise to get into the middle of a married couple's difficulties. I suggest contacting a mediator or solicitor who can advise your parents and and lead them through this. It is inappropriate for their son, or anyone emotionally involved, to do this, imo.


  • #4
    curlzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    What is mediation?Mediation is a service to help couples in Ireland who have decided to separate or divorce, or who have already separated, to negotiate their own terms of agreement, while addressing the needs and interests of all involved. Mediation allows people to make their own decisions.

    How can mediation help?The Family Mediation Service encourages the separating couple to co-operate with each other in working out mutually acceptable arrangements on all or any of the following:

    Parenting the children
    Financial support
    Family home and property
    Other problems related to the separation
    The Family Mediation Service describes the role of the mediator as follows:

    To see a couple together and help them settle their differences.
    To create a climate in which neither party dominates but in which both parties participate fully in good faith.
    To create and maintain an atmosphere of co-operation and responsibility.
    To help couples deal with difficult emotional issues that can prevent them reaching agreement.
    To help couples reach agreement that they believe to be fair, equitable and workable.
    Linky: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/family_mediation_service.html

    They should be able to assist. I agree with previous poster stay out of this it's way too close to home.


  • #5
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    In total agreement with Neuro-praxis here, it's inappropriate for you to be involved at this level. You can't possibly give impartial advice and you're not a qualified solicitor, you need to hand this over to a third party. AND it will effect the relationship with one or both of your parents. While it's admirable you want to mediate and help at this difficult time, I'd strongly advise against it.


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